Application
[Player name] Dee
[Age] 28
[Personal Journal] atlasofambrosia
[Other characters currently played] N/A
[Character name]
[Age] Locke Lamora
[Canon] The Gentleman Bastard Sequence
[Point in time taken from canon] Following the completion of 'The Lies of Locke Lamora', but before the beginning of 'Red Seas Under Red Skies'.
[Background]
→ Locke was born in one of the poorest districts of Camorr, the Catchfire. Aptly named due to the fact that the Catchfire is often the first place for plagues and sickness to start. Locke lost his mother at a very early age, and his father left the both of them to fend for themselves, thus Locke became a thief before he had learned much of anything else.
→ When Locke was six or seven, a plague known as 'The Black Whisper' fell upon the district, the sickness killing off all of the adults- but leaving anyone under thirteen with merely swollen faces. The Duke of Camorr ordered a quarantine, and the surviving orphans were left to fend for themselves. When quarantine was lifted, a man known only as the Thiefmaker paid the city watch for first choice of the orphans. Locke followed, as though he felt he belonged, thirty-first of thirty, and he followed them to Shades' Hill. Shades' Hill was a cemetary turned home by the Thiefmaker, where many orphaned children came to live, and as his name announced, taught the children to become thieves.
→ Under the Thiefmaker's care, Locke 'screwed up' royally, on two occasions. The first was just after the Thiefmaker had taken him under his wing; Locke had lifted the purse of one of the guardsmen who carried him out of the Catchfire, unknowingly breaking what was known as the Sacred Peace in Camorr, and putting everyone in Shades' Hill in danger. The Secret Peace was an arrangement made between the Duke of Camorr and the Capa of Camorr to keep from having excess bloodshed. In exchange for the Duke turning a blind eye to the 'Right People' (thieves, gangs and miscreants) stealing from merchants, the 'Right People would in turn refrain from stealing from the nobility in Camorr. In stealing from the guardsmen, Locke broke this agreement, and so the Thiefmaker had to kiss boots and stuff the stolen purses with coins to make sure that Capa Barsavi never heard about the breach, otherwise his life would be forfeit. The second time Locke screwed up was in arranging the deaths of two of the older, stronger boys in Shades' Hill who often picked on Locke. In doing this, Locke inadvertently undermined the Thiefmaker's authority, and so recognizing that if the other children realized what Locke had done he could be unseated from his proverbial throne, the Thiefmaker paid Capa Barsavi to have the right to murder Locke. But in one last ditch effort to make a little more coin, Locke was instead sold to a man named Father Chains, a false preist of Perelandro; Lord of the Overlooked; a beggar's God.
→ When Locke arrived at the Temple of Perelandro he was informed that Father Chains was not, in fact, a Priest of Perelandro as everyone believed, but was really a Priest of the Nameless Thirteenth, the Crooked Warden. God of Thieves, the black sheep brother of the Gods. Here, Locke met Calo and Galdo Sanza, Jean Tannen, and as well as Sabetha, the girl he would fall madly in love with. Chains also informed Locke that for every death he had caused at Shades' Hill, he would have to play 1000 full Crowns (an incredibly substantial amount) stolen fairly, a death offering for those who had lost their lives because of his inability to be circumspect.
→ Taken before Capa Barsavi, Locke swore an oath to be a loyal pezon (or servant) of both Barsavi, and his daughter (and later a good friend) Nazca. But when the ceremony was finished, Chains explained that this was only for show, and he had no intention of any of the Gentleman Bastards becoming quite as loyal as Barsavi would have liked. They would look like sneak thieves, seem like sneak thieves, but they would grow to be anything but.
→ Under Chains's tutelage, Locke learned how to read, how to write, how to tease and charm coats like never before, various languages, maths, and as well as the fact that he and his brothers were going to be 'a fucking barrista bolt' right through the heart of the secret peace. They would learn how to act, how to scheme, and how to run elaborate confidence games against the nobility of Camorr. Thieves like no others, and Chains saw promise that Locke could become the brains of this operation. He became close with the other initiates of the Nameless Thirteenth, and together they flourished in their own little gang.
→ At some point during Locke's teenage to adult hood years, Locke and Sabetha became romantically involved, and it ended in heartbreak for both parties. Sabetha left, and Locke has been left with a still recovering heartache.
→ After Chains's death, Locke became garrista, or 'leader' of the Gentleman Bastards. He took on an apprentice boy by the name of Bug, and just as Locke, Calo, Galdo, Jean, and Sabetha had been taught, Bug began his 'moral education' at the hands of the Gentleman Bastards, with the intention of having him become just as they were; thieves savvy enough to trick the Camorri nobility into believing whatever yarn spun for them, and robbing them of their riches.
→ When The Lies of Locke Lamora begins, Locke is vying to start his most recent confidence game- a game involving a Don Salvara. He impersonates a merchant from Emberlain by the name of Lukas Fehrwight, on a very pressing matter of business from the House of Bel Auster, famous for it's wines and brandies. Austershalin Brandy is known as the most expensive liquor available, and Locke knows that the Salvaras have a weakness for business ventures regarding liquors. Donã Sofia, Don Salvara's wife, is a known alchemist who specializes in plant manipulations. At one point during one of Locke's visits she presents him with an alchemically modified orange, one that produces it's own liquer. He convinces the Salvaras to fund a sailing expedition to supposedly rescue much of the Austershalin Brandy from Emberlain before a civil war breaks out; however, this is a complete and utter sham. Locke then impersonates a Midnighter- one of the Duke of Camorr's secret service, and explains to Don and Donã Salvara that they are being robbed, and that they are to give the Thorn of Camorr (the name Locke has earned for himself from his confidence games) exactly what he desires so that they can catch him. This is part of Locke's elaborate game, but what Locke does not expect is that Donã Sofia unknowingly knows Camorr's Spider; the head behind the real Midnighters.
→ During Locke's confidence game with the Salvaras, a man by the name of the Grey King has begun to kill Camorri's 'Right People', in a direct attack against Capa Barsavi. The Grey King has been targetting Capa Barsavi's closest garrista, his loyalest gang leaders, so as to begin to undermine Capa Barsavi's reign. Strangely, no one has any memory of ever encountering the Grey King, and it is rumored that no sword can touch him, and that he can kill with just a touch. In the midst of Locke's game, the Grey King confronts Locke, saying that he requires Locke's skills as a false-facer. He presents Locke to his Bondsmage, a man by the name of Falconer with unnatural powers of sorcery. It is in this way that the Grey King has kept himself disguised for so long. Bondsmagi are incredibly expensive to maintain the services of, and under no circumstances should they ever be killed. The Bondsmagi of Karthain hold the monopoly over sorcery, and will kill anyone who tries to stand against them, or kills one of their own. Like hornets, they descend furious and merciless upon any who stand against them. So of course, the first thing Locke does is insult the Falconer. It is revealed that the Falconer was watching the Gentleman Bastards all along, from the very beginning of their confidence game against the Salvaras through the use of an alchemically modified scorpian-hawk hybrid named Vestris. A hawk who sees what the Falconer sees, and vice versa. The Grey King asks Locke to attend a meeting with Capa Barsavi, as he is needed at a prior engagement. Locke protests that Barsavi will not be moved from his floating fortress, but the Grey King promises Locke that he has something up his sleeve to draw Barsavi from the floating grave. After bing tortured by the Falconer, Locke reluctantly agrees, because he knows that with the Bondsmage's help the Grey King has the power to eliminate all of his friends.
→ The Grey King murders Barsavi's daughter Nazca, Locke's good friend since childhood, and delivers her in a keg full of horse urine. On second glance, it is clear that Nazca did not drown in it, but was stabbed by the venom of Vestris, the Bondsmage's hawk, and instead died of poisoning. Quicker, more merciful than that which Barsavi had believed. This, Locke realizes, is how the Grey King is set to draw Barsavi out.
→ The night arrives when Locke is set to impersonate the Grey King, and Locke does as he is requested- but so too does he make sure everything from his time in Camorr is ready to be taken from the city at a moments notice. Calo and Galdo watch over the Temple of Perelandro, where a ful fourty thousand crowns are ready to be moved within a moments notice. Guards are paid off to see to it that should they need to escape, it can be quick, and easy. Bug and Jean acompany Locke to the alotted meeting place- a seemingly haunted waterfall with underground tunnels known to the locals as the Echo Hole. Here, Locke meets Barsavi and his strongest gangs head on, and as the Falconer had promised, no blade, nor crossbow bolt will harm Locke. However, he can be touched, and once this is discovered Locke has the life nearly wolloped out of him. Barsavi then has Locke thrown in a casket of horse piss, and the top sealed. He is thrown into the waterfall, where Bug and Jean save him. Once Locke is out of the casket he realizes with startling clarity that the Grey King did not intend for him to survive, and suddenly feeling a deep sense of dread they race back to the Temple- only to find the bodies of the murdered Sanza twins, and a lone assassin waiting. The Grey King did not expect Locke to survive, and Jean is indisposed by a hand with Jean Tannen's name sewn into the flesh. It is known as a Hangman's Hand, sorcery of the darkest kind, and it cripples Jean, leaving him keeled over and temporarily indisposed. When the assassin discovers that Locke has not died, they come to a stand off, as he only has one crossbow bolt, the bolt that had been meant for Bug. Impulsively Bug launched himself at the assassin, who fired the crossbow bolt into Bug's neck. Locke disposed of the assassin, leaving him alive to get information from later. Bug died in Locke's arms, leaving Locke grief and guilt stricken. His own pride had kept him in Camorr, instead of running when the business with the Grey King began. It is only when Jean moans in pain that Locke is able to tear himself away from Bug, chopping the hand into tiny pieces frees Jean from it's spell. Together they torture the assassin, and discover that the Grey King has taken their entire fortune.
→ Even despite everything Locke has been through, despite suffering the beating of his life, being nearly drowned in horse urine, and the loss of his friends, home, and fortune, Locke soldiered on, telling Jean to find them somewhere safe to stay, while Locke went to the Floating Grave, knowing now that the Grey King would be there, as Capa Barsavi had thrown open the doors of his fortress after the 'defeat' of the false Grey King. Here, Locke witnessed the death of Barsavi's two sons, and the revelation that Barsavi's two greatest body guards, the Berengias twins, were actually related to the Grey King himself. The Grey King then revealed himself, and fed Barsavi to his own sharks while Locke watched. All of the gang leaders that the Grey King had disposed of were for a reason, the Grey King renamed himself Capa Raza, Raza meaning 'Revenge' in the Therin tongue. Revenge against Barsavi, who Locke would later learn, had murdered Raza's parents and three youngest siblings. Only Raza, and the two twin girls- his sisters, had survived. This, all for the Sacred Peace.
→ After leaving the Floating Grave Locke made it as far as he could before collapsing. Luckily Jean found him, and brought him before Ibelius, the personal physiker of Barsavi turned dogleach (physiker's of the questionable sort, uncertified, and thus with questionable skill) who offered his services to Locke and Jean so long as they brought Capa Raza's reign to an end. Locke slept for three days and three nights, overcome by his ailments at last. When he awoke, Jean had taken the liberty to bring the Salvara game back into play, hoping to get a few more thousand crowns from the Salvaras, and the promise of getting out of Camorr with enough money to start another life elsewhere. What Locke did not know, was that the Spider had set her own plans into effect after learning of the false Midnighters' visit from Sofia. Vorchenza, a woman of almost seventy and friend to the Salvaras is the real Spider, and one of the Duke's closest allies. She informs the Salvaras through the Midnighters that they are to invite Locke to the Day of Changes celebration at Raven's Reach, the Duke's personal tower, nearly 700 feet high. Here, Vorchenza can at last capture the Thorn of Camorr that has been robbing her peers, and avoiding her for so long.
→ Accepting the Salvaras invitation to Raven's Reach, Locke can't help but feel a sense of pride at knowing he has been invited to display his skills at false-facing to all of Camorr's nobility. To those he had robbed before, and to the Duke himself. Eagerly, pridefully, Locke accepts this invitation, unwittingly walking right into Vorchenza's trap. At the celebration, Locke encounters the Grey King, now under the mantel of Master Antolius (his real name). Exchanging brief, forced pleasentries (and poorly hidden malice for one another, the Grey King surprised to see Locke alive, and Locke wanting nothing more than to avenge the deaths of Bug, Calo, and Galdo) Locke is then brought before Vorchenza. Vorchenza poisons Locke with one of her sewing needles, and then demands to know where all of the money Locke has stolen is hiding. She tells Locke that he may barter for the antidote to the poison. Locke tells Vorchenza he no longer has the money, and then punches the seventy year old woman in the face, knocking her down, and stealing the antidote. Locke escapes through a window, 600 feet above ground, and manages to catch hold of one of the hanging cages that ferry passengers to and from the top of the tower.
→ When Locke returns to a now-injured Jean (having killed the Berengias twins, but suffering grevious wounds in the fight) and Ibelius, he also finds the Falconer waiting with Jean enchanged. Jean is ordered to attack Locke, but then the Falconer has a better idea. He tells Locke he will sign his true name, and Locke will be under his control. With this control, Locke is ordered to kill Jean. But just as the Falconer has personal satisfaction in having control over Locke, Locke turns on the Falconer and hits Vestris, shouting that the Bondsmage was stupid to ever think Locke's real name was 'Locke fucking Lamora!'
→ With the Bondsmage indisposed, Locke tortures him to find out the Grey King's true plan. It is revealed that he intends to Gentle the entirety of Camorr's nobility. (Gentling is done with an alchemical powder known as Wraithstone, and when the smoke is inhaled it extinguishes the soul. A Gentled person will no longer eat, sleep, or shit of their own accord. It is a terrible fate, a fate worse than death.) The Bondsmage has his fingers cut off, and cauterized so that he can no longer do more sorcery. They threaten to cut out his tongue, and then the Bondsmagi tells them where they will find the Grey King. At falselight (just after dusk) he will be escaping through Camorr's bay on a boat that had sailed in waving plague colors, but was really merely a front, and fed provisions and the entirety of Barsavi, and the Gentleman Bastards' fortune. The Grey King never wanted to be Capa of Camorr, he wanted to take revenge on the Nobility, on Barsavi who had first agreed to the Secret Peace. And now, with this done he would sail away, and Locke would have to choose between catching the Grey King alone before he set sail, or saving Camorr. Locke snarls that there is no choice at all, and orders Jean to cut out the Bondsmage's tongue, before setting out for Raven's Reach once more.
→ At Raven's Reach Vorchenza is pissed, and so are the Salvaras and everyone who knew Locke as a fraud. He pleads with them and tells them what he knows, asks them to check statues that had been cleared as gifts for the Duke by Vorchenza herself, under an addled mind thanks to the Falconer. The gifts from the Grey King are full of Wraithstone, and working together, the Midnighters, Locke, and the Salvaras manage to haul all of the statues into the Hanging Garden's pool, where the water renders the Wraithstone inert. Locke then bargains with Vorchenza to release him, and that the plague ship is full of goats and rats sick with Black Whisper, to be rammed into Camorr. He begs Vorchenza to sink it- and she agrees, unknowingly sending thousands of crowns to the bottom of the sea. Locke's death offering for his lost friends, stolen once from the nobility of Camorr, stolen again from the Grey King. A massive death offering worthy of the memory of his friends. Vorchenza also agrees to release Locke, but with the promise that should she ever see him again he will spend the rest of his life in prison at the Palace of Patience.
→ Racing from Raven's Reach to the Floating Grave, Locke finds the Grey King waiting for him, rapier in hand. Locke has a rapier of his own, given to him by Vorchenza's right hand man. Locke and the Grey King duel, and Locke is greivously injured, but in the end, manages to kill the Grey King. Jean finds Locke, bleeding to death, and sobbing. Locke asks Jean to leave him there, says that he won't make it, but Jean refuses to leave Locke behind. Locke begs for forgiveness, feeling hollowed out now that his revenge has been finished, and left still feeling guilt ridden for the deaths of his friends. Together, Locke, Jean and Ibelius (tending to Locke's wounds) sail out from the Bay of Camorr, where Locke watches Camorr fade into the hazy grey distance, one last time.
[Personality] Locke is a Gentleman Bastard, in every sense of the words. Locke can be sophisticated, and curteous- but more often than not, this is merely a face; a fraud to manipulate those around him. Locke has been schooled in many different languages, cultures and mannerisms so that he can act as whatever character is required of him. He can become anything from an arrogant prince to the most humble of beggars on command. It comes as no surprise then, that Locke has a taste for the theatrical, and the grand. He invests in costumes of every color and cut, alchemical powders and oils and dyes to change his hair, makeup to give scars, whatever the game calls for. When Locke sets his mind to creating a confidence game, they are incredibly elaborate. Locke considers them from every angle, wanting to make sure that the noose is slipped around his mark, and not his own neck. What this means, is that he is incredibly smart, imaginitive, and analytical. That isn't to say that he doesn't screw up, because he certainly does. But Locke's one greatest asset is his ability to think on his feet. He can make incredibly delicates snap decisions within a moment's notice, and when Locke sets his mind on something he wants, there is very little that can deter him from getting it.
Locke is also incredibly loyal. Almost overwhelmingly so. Even despite his extreme avarice, the one thing that Locke puts first and formost over this is the safety of his friends. They are the ones who he truly considers family, and he would and will do anything to protect them. At least, if they were there to protect, anyway. This explains the incredible lengths Locke will go to to seek revenge for any friends of his that have been wronged. Locke will stop at nothing to exact revenge against those who cross him and he believes deserve it, and has nearly killed himself in the process of taking it on more than one occasion. His determination for such things knows no bounds, and he will not allow any obstacle to stand in his way of this when it is required.
That said, Locke is not quick to trust. Growing up as an orphan in the Catchfire district is not something that has ever been lost on Locke, and so it takes a great deal of time and effort to gain the thief's true loyalties. He is always a little wary of strangers, attempting to gauge their motivations and methods, both so that he may learn how to manipulate them and get the most of what he wants out of them, and so he may gauge whether or not they could become a potential threat.
Locke is cunning, manipulative, and charismatic. He can charm his way through the most difficult and delicate of situations with his gilded tongue. He is very aware of the words he uses, and the effect they can have on a person, and so when it is needed he can be quite thoughtful in the way he phrases things. However, in closer company, he has been known to drop such facades and swear like a pirate, although he's never been quite as uncouth as the Sanzas.
He is also a very emotional person. He takes his failings to heart very seriously, and once the grave seriousness of a situation has been dealt with, it is not uncommon for him to sulk or mope in a moment of calm thereafter. He has a difficult time dealing with these moments on his own, and it is often through a sharp crack to the skull (verbally or physically) from Jean that has snapped him out of these moments of self-loathing and despair. Jean once described Locke as 'one third bad intentions, one third avarice, one eighth sawdust, and the rest, I'll give you, must be brains.'
The final characteristic of note in Locke is his stubborn streak. When he has made up his mind about something he is loath to let it go until he has seen it through to completion. He is also somewhat egotistical. He doesn't think he's completely infalliable, but he does have a slightly bloated amount of pride in his work. Although this will be suffering due to the events at the end of 'The Lies of Locke Lamora' it is something that he will begin to regain. Another worthwhile note is that Locke has never murdured indiscriminantly. He has always set out to achieve his goal of robbing as much money as possible out of someone without bloodshed. However, all bets are off should you happen to mess with his friends, as previously stated.
[Abilities] Locke has no real abilities to speak of, other than his incredible wit and quick thinking. He isn't skilled with any particular weapons, but can speak several languages, and is an incredible actor. He can call upon many different types of accent, as well as conjur up haughtiness from nothing. With the right materials, not even his best friends would recognize him, so skilled is he at 'false-facing'. It is once noted that he is two very different characters before the same people in a matter of hours, on the same day, and nothing is ever even so much as suspected. Locke is also incredibly fast, and light on his feet. Two skills that no thief should ever be without. There are very few pockets Locke cannot charm, and he is very skilled at tricks requiring slight of hand.
[Other important stuff] Due to the nature of the end of The Lies of Locke Lamora, Locke will still be recovering from grief, and depression at the loss of his friends. (Not to mention his injuries.) He feels that it is entirely his fault, and he will likely be a recovering alcoholic for some time.
[Sample post]
[First Person]
- You have two options: either save your friend who is hanging from a cliff, or chase after the bad guy who put them in a position. If you choose the former, the bad guy will get away and it will be hard to catch him. If you choose the latter, the cliff will crumble and the friend will fall to the spiky rocks below. What do you do and why?
Well that's no question at all, is it? I'd save my friend. We Camorri have a long memory for revenge, and if I have to have to chase the fucker across the Sea of Brass and beyond then so be it. Jean's a heavy man though, it might be a bit of a trick to haul him up from a cliff by myself.
- If you could go back home, would you? Why or why not?
If by 'home', you mean Camorr- then forget it. I'm not exactly eager to spend the remainder of my life getting acquanted with a spider cage at the Palace of Patience.
- If you could destroy a city, how would you do it?
With a gods-damned lot of fire oil. And if I could pick which city, it'd be Karthain. I've had about enough of Bondsmage's to last me a life time.
- You are suddenly told you are the child of an ancient prophecy to save the world. How do you feel? Will you embark on your journey? Or would you rather shove it onto someone else and run away? Explain.
[ Locke starts to laugh. And laugh, and laugh. After several long minutes of this, he kind of smiles wryly, shaking his head and uttering ] Well shit. [ And he just leaves it at that. ]
- You just got a challenge to fight from one of the strongest gang leaders around. Do you accept or reject? Why?
Well that depends. Is the gang trying to get me to swear loyalty to them? In that case I'll fight and get my ass kicked. I know I'm not much of a fighter- but that's always what Jean has been for. No one I know would willingly mess with Jean Tannen. And if Jean's not around- well, I guess I'm in for one hell of a beating. Doesn't mean I'll back down or give in, though.
- Would you consider yourself a hero or a villain? Why? Neither is an option as well, but still tell why.
I'd say I fall at a bit of an in-between. I mean I'm not exactly the most moral of people, but I don't go out of my way to murder or rape. I mean really when you think about it, stealing isn't the worst thing I could be doing with my time.
- If I offered to save your soul for a price, would you go with it and why?
My soul is all full-up with larceny and bad intentions. And I quite like it that way, thank you very much. I'll take my chances with the Lady of the Long Silence as is.
- Would you consider yourself a power hungry individual?
No. I'm ambitious in different ways, but power has never been something I'll actively seek. Capa Barsavi once called it prudence, and I suppose that's true. But I've never wanted an office of power, because I've never wanted the problems it entails. My responsibilities as a garrista are more than enough for me... And look where my leadership landed my friends.
[Third Person]
Nights like these, Locke remembers Camorr. The images, and memories that pass behind his mind's eye are so vivid, so real he can almost smell the hot pungent odur of a sprawling city, nearly splitting at it's seams with wealth, commerce, and best of all: avarice. He remembers nights like these, when the mists are rising up from the channels that cut through Camorr, spreading a humid mist over the city and only intensifying it's smells. He remembers Shades' Hill, sweating and heaving and stinking with other filthy little orphans, just like him.
But these memories always turn to a darker place, and a shuddering ache runs through him, brings him to a pause on the lonely street. This is something that doesn't remind him of Camorr. Filled to almost bursting it was unusual to be alone on the streets, and a prickling sensation of warning that Locke can't help raises the hairs on the back of his neck. He knows better, knows that this place is nothing like Camorr, and being alone on the street doesn't mean anything-
Still, he can't help but remember.
"We should have run," he whispers to himself, a hand lifting to his face to brush away the cold sweat that he can't help. Faces flash behind his eyes, each one a brother; a Bastard; a friend. Jean isn't here, and Locke can't help but wonder if Jean will be better off that way. Without Locke, there's no one to make stupid decisions on his behalf.
Well, that's not true. Jean can make his own stupid decisions now. But there'll be no one to rescue Locke from his own.
He moves for the tavern then, memories and grief cutting through him anew. Raw, and hollow, he seeks solace in the bottom of a bottle, because here it's all he has.
[Why do you want to play this character in Somarium?] When I went looking for a game to place Locke I considered a lot of options. I wanted somewhere where I could keep him in character, and organize fun plots involving him robbing the hell out of certain characters. Running confidence games just as he would have were he still in his own world. I feel that Somarium can deliver this, so long as other players are willing (and I do so hope they will be!) and also the pre-existing police force just makes the honey pot sweeter. Locke can't quite resist knowing that he is tricking those around him with his schemes. It isn't the act of having money that Locke enjoys, it's the act of stealing it. Also I have friends in this game who I love and adore and they enabled me terribly.
[Which rule was your favorite and why?] Probably the rule about language characteristics. I like that characters sort of have the option as to whether or not they are speaking in their own language or if it's merely one that everyone can understand. It'll make Locke and his knowledge of languages rather interesting, since none of them would translate into languages that we commonly refer to. (Although I personally imagine that Vadran is a version of Germanic, or Russian.)
[Where did you hear about Somarium?] From Mhairi, Lili, and Kandy. (Also from stalking the Dastan mun. Shhh)
[Any questions?] What... is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?
[Age] 28
[Personal Journal] atlasofambrosia
[Other characters currently played] N/A
[Character name]
[Age] Locke Lamora
[Canon] The Gentleman Bastard Sequence
[Point in time taken from canon] Following the completion of 'The Lies of Locke Lamora', but before the beginning of 'Red Seas Under Red Skies'.
[Background]
→ Locke was born in one of the poorest districts of Camorr, the Catchfire. Aptly named due to the fact that the Catchfire is often the first place for plagues and sickness to start. Locke lost his mother at a very early age, and his father left the both of them to fend for themselves, thus Locke became a thief before he had learned much of anything else.
→ When Locke was six or seven, a plague known as 'The Black Whisper' fell upon the district, the sickness killing off all of the adults- but leaving anyone under thirteen with merely swollen faces. The Duke of Camorr ordered a quarantine, and the surviving orphans were left to fend for themselves. When quarantine was lifted, a man known only as the Thiefmaker paid the city watch for first choice of the orphans. Locke followed, as though he felt he belonged, thirty-first of thirty, and he followed them to Shades' Hill. Shades' Hill was a cemetary turned home by the Thiefmaker, where many orphaned children came to live, and as his name announced, taught the children to become thieves.
→ Under the Thiefmaker's care, Locke 'screwed up' royally, on two occasions. The first was just after the Thiefmaker had taken him under his wing; Locke had lifted the purse of one of the guardsmen who carried him out of the Catchfire, unknowingly breaking what was known as the Sacred Peace in Camorr, and putting everyone in Shades' Hill in danger. The Secret Peace was an arrangement made between the Duke of Camorr and the Capa of Camorr to keep from having excess bloodshed. In exchange for the Duke turning a blind eye to the 'Right People' (thieves, gangs and miscreants) stealing from merchants, the 'Right People would in turn refrain from stealing from the nobility in Camorr. In stealing from the guardsmen, Locke broke this agreement, and so the Thiefmaker had to kiss boots and stuff the stolen purses with coins to make sure that Capa Barsavi never heard about the breach, otherwise his life would be forfeit. The second time Locke screwed up was in arranging the deaths of two of the older, stronger boys in Shades' Hill who often picked on Locke. In doing this, Locke inadvertently undermined the Thiefmaker's authority, and so recognizing that if the other children realized what Locke had done he could be unseated from his proverbial throne, the Thiefmaker paid Capa Barsavi to have the right to murder Locke. But in one last ditch effort to make a little more coin, Locke was instead sold to a man named Father Chains, a false preist of Perelandro; Lord of the Overlooked; a beggar's God.
→ When Locke arrived at the Temple of Perelandro he was informed that Father Chains was not, in fact, a Priest of Perelandro as everyone believed, but was really a Priest of the Nameless Thirteenth, the Crooked Warden. God of Thieves, the black sheep brother of the Gods. Here, Locke met Calo and Galdo Sanza, Jean Tannen, and as well as Sabetha, the girl he would fall madly in love with. Chains also informed Locke that for every death he had caused at Shades' Hill, he would have to play 1000 full Crowns (an incredibly substantial amount) stolen fairly, a death offering for those who had lost their lives because of his inability to be circumspect.
→ Taken before Capa Barsavi, Locke swore an oath to be a loyal pezon (or servant) of both Barsavi, and his daughter (and later a good friend) Nazca. But when the ceremony was finished, Chains explained that this was only for show, and he had no intention of any of the Gentleman Bastards becoming quite as loyal as Barsavi would have liked. They would look like sneak thieves, seem like sneak thieves, but they would grow to be anything but.
→ Under Chains's tutelage, Locke learned how to read, how to write, how to tease and charm coats like never before, various languages, maths, and as well as the fact that he and his brothers were going to be 'a fucking barrista bolt' right through the heart of the secret peace. They would learn how to act, how to scheme, and how to run elaborate confidence games against the nobility of Camorr. Thieves like no others, and Chains saw promise that Locke could become the brains of this operation. He became close with the other initiates of the Nameless Thirteenth, and together they flourished in their own little gang.
→ At some point during Locke's teenage to adult hood years, Locke and Sabetha became romantically involved, and it ended in heartbreak for both parties. Sabetha left, and Locke has been left with a still recovering heartache.
→ After Chains's death, Locke became garrista, or 'leader' of the Gentleman Bastards. He took on an apprentice boy by the name of Bug, and just as Locke, Calo, Galdo, Jean, and Sabetha had been taught, Bug began his 'moral education' at the hands of the Gentleman Bastards, with the intention of having him become just as they were; thieves savvy enough to trick the Camorri nobility into believing whatever yarn spun for them, and robbing them of their riches.
→ When The Lies of Locke Lamora begins, Locke is vying to start his most recent confidence game- a game involving a Don Salvara. He impersonates a merchant from Emberlain by the name of Lukas Fehrwight, on a very pressing matter of business from the House of Bel Auster, famous for it's wines and brandies. Austershalin Brandy is known as the most expensive liquor available, and Locke knows that the Salvaras have a weakness for business ventures regarding liquors. Donã Sofia, Don Salvara's wife, is a known alchemist who specializes in plant manipulations. At one point during one of Locke's visits she presents him with an alchemically modified orange, one that produces it's own liquer. He convinces the Salvaras to fund a sailing expedition to supposedly rescue much of the Austershalin Brandy from Emberlain before a civil war breaks out; however, this is a complete and utter sham. Locke then impersonates a Midnighter- one of the Duke of Camorr's secret service, and explains to Don and Donã Salvara that they are being robbed, and that they are to give the Thorn of Camorr (the name Locke has earned for himself from his confidence games) exactly what he desires so that they can catch him. This is part of Locke's elaborate game, but what Locke does not expect is that Donã Sofia unknowingly knows Camorr's Spider; the head behind the real Midnighters.
→ During Locke's confidence game with the Salvaras, a man by the name of the Grey King has begun to kill Camorri's 'Right People', in a direct attack against Capa Barsavi. The Grey King has been targetting Capa Barsavi's closest garrista, his loyalest gang leaders, so as to begin to undermine Capa Barsavi's reign. Strangely, no one has any memory of ever encountering the Grey King, and it is rumored that no sword can touch him, and that he can kill with just a touch. In the midst of Locke's game, the Grey King confronts Locke, saying that he requires Locke's skills as a false-facer. He presents Locke to his Bondsmage, a man by the name of Falconer with unnatural powers of sorcery. It is in this way that the Grey King has kept himself disguised for so long. Bondsmagi are incredibly expensive to maintain the services of, and under no circumstances should they ever be killed. The Bondsmagi of Karthain hold the monopoly over sorcery, and will kill anyone who tries to stand against them, or kills one of their own. Like hornets, they descend furious and merciless upon any who stand against them. So of course, the first thing Locke does is insult the Falconer. It is revealed that the Falconer was watching the Gentleman Bastards all along, from the very beginning of their confidence game against the Salvaras through the use of an alchemically modified scorpian-hawk hybrid named Vestris. A hawk who sees what the Falconer sees, and vice versa. The Grey King asks Locke to attend a meeting with Capa Barsavi, as he is needed at a prior engagement. Locke protests that Barsavi will not be moved from his floating fortress, but the Grey King promises Locke that he has something up his sleeve to draw Barsavi from the floating grave. After bing tortured by the Falconer, Locke reluctantly agrees, because he knows that with the Bondsmage's help the Grey King has the power to eliminate all of his friends.
→ The Grey King murders Barsavi's daughter Nazca, Locke's good friend since childhood, and delivers her in a keg full of horse urine. On second glance, it is clear that Nazca did not drown in it, but was stabbed by the venom of Vestris, the Bondsmage's hawk, and instead died of poisoning. Quicker, more merciful than that which Barsavi had believed. This, Locke realizes, is how the Grey King is set to draw Barsavi out.
→ The night arrives when Locke is set to impersonate the Grey King, and Locke does as he is requested- but so too does he make sure everything from his time in Camorr is ready to be taken from the city at a moments notice. Calo and Galdo watch over the Temple of Perelandro, where a ful fourty thousand crowns are ready to be moved within a moments notice. Guards are paid off to see to it that should they need to escape, it can be quick, and easy. Bug and Jean acompany Locke to the alotted meeting place- a seemingly haunted waterfall with underground tunnels known to the locals as the Echo Hole. Here, Locke meets Barsavi and his strongest gangs head on, and as the Falconer had promised, no blade, nor crossbow bolt will harm Locke. However, he can be touched, and once this is discovered Locke has the life nearly wolloped out of him. Barsavi then has Locke thrown in a casket of horse piss, and the top sealed. He is thrown into the waterfall, where Bug and Jean save him. Once Locke is out of the casket he realizes with startling clarity that the Grey King did not intend for him to survive, and suddenly feeling a deep sense of dread they race back to the Temple- only to find the bodies of the murdered Sanza twins, and a lone assassin waiting. The Grey King did not expect Locke to survive, and Jean is indisposed by a hand with Jean Tannen's name sewn into the flesh. It is known as a Hangman's Hand, sorcery of the darkest kind, and it cripples Jean, leaving him keeled over and temporarily indisposed. When the assassin discovers that Locke has not died, they come to a stand off, as he only has one crossbow bolt, the bolt that had been meant for Bug. Impulsively Bug launched himself at the assassin, who fired the crossbow bolt into Bug's neck. Locke disposed of the assassin, leaving him alive to get information from later. Bug died in Locke's arms, leaving Locke grief and guilt stricken. His own pride had kept him in Camorr, instead of running when the business with the Grey King began. It is only when Jean moans in pain that Locke is able to tear himself away from Bug, chopping the hand into tiny pieces frees Jean from it's spell. Together they torture the assassin, and discover that the Grey King has taken their entire fortune.
→ Even despite everything Locke has been through, despite suffering the beating of his life, being nearly drowned in horse urine, and the loss of his friends, home, and fortune, Locke soldiered on, telling Jean to find them somewhere safe to stay, while Locke went to the Floating Grave, knowing now that the Grey King would be there, as Capa Barsavi had thrown open the doors of his fortress after the 'defeat' of the false Grey King. Here, Locke witnessed the death of Barsavi's two sons, and the revelation that Barsavi's two greatest body guards, the Berengias twins, were actually related to the Grey King himself. The Grey King then revealed himself, and fed Barsavi to his own sharks while Locke watched. All of the gang leaders that the Grey King had disposed of were for a reason, the Grey King renamed himself Capa Raza, Raza meaning 'Revenge' in the Therin tongue. Revenge against Barsavi, who Locke would later learn, had murdered Raza's parents and three youngest siblings. Only Raza, and the two twin girls- his sisters, had survived. This, all for the Sacred Peace.
→ After leaving the Floating Grave Locke made it as far as he could before collapsing. Luckily Jean found him, and brought him before Ibelius, the personal physiker of Barsavi turned dogleach (physiker's of the questionable sort, uncertified, and thus with questionable skill) who offered his services to Locke and Jean so long as they brought Capa Raza's reign to an end. Locke slept for three days and three nights, overcome by his ailments at last. When he awoke, Jean had taken the liberty to bring the Salvara game back into play, hoping to get a few more thousand crowns from the Salvaras, and the promise of getting out of Camorr with enough money to start another life elsewhere. What Locke did not know, was that the Spider had set her own plans into effect after learning of the false Midnighters' visit from Sofia. Vorchenza, a woman of almost seventy and friend to the Salvaras is the real Spider, and one of the Duke's closest allies. She informs the Salvaras through the Midnighters that they are to invite Locke to the Day of Changes celebration at Raven's Reach, the Duke's personal tower, nearly 700 feet high. Here, Vorchenza can at last capture the Thorn of Camorr that has been robbing her peers, and avoiding her for so long.
→ Accepting the Salvaras invitation to Raven's Reach, Locke can't help but feel a sense of pride at knowing he has been invited to display his skills at false-facing to all of Camorr's nobility. To those he had robbed before, and to the Duke himself. Eagerly, pridefully, Locke accepts this invitation, unwittingly walking right into Vorchenza's trap. At the celebration, Locke encounters the Grey King, now under the mantel of Master Antolius (his real name). Exchanging brief, forced pleasentries (and poorly hidden malice for one another, the Grey King surprised to see Locke alive, and Locke wanting nothing more than to avenge the deaths of Bug, Calo, and Galdo) Locke is then brought before Vorchenza. Vorchenza poisons Locke with one of her sewing needles, and then demands to know where all of the money Locke has stolen is hiding. She tells Locke that he may barter for the antidote to the poison. Locke tells Vorchenza he no longer has the money, and then punches the seventy year old woman in the face, knocking her down, and stealing the antidote. Locke escapes through a window, 600 feet above ground, and manages to catch hold of one of the hanging cages that ferry passengers to and from the top of the tower.
→ When Locke returns to a now-injured Jean (having killed the Berengias twins, but suffering grevious wounds in the fight) and Ibelius, he also finds the Falconer waiting with Jean enchanged. Jean is ordered to attack Locke, but then the Falconer has a better idea. He tells Locke he will sign his true name, and Locke will be under his control. With this control, Locke is ordered to kill Jean. But just as the Falconer has personal satisfaction in having control over Locke, Locke turns on the Falconer and hits Vestris, shouting that the Bondsmage was stupid to ever think Locke's real name was 'Locke fucking Lamora!'
→ With the Bondsmage indisposed, Locke tortures him to find out the Grey King's true plan. It is revealed that he intends to Gentle the entirety of Camorr's nobility. (Gentling is done with an alchemical powder known as Wraithstone, and when the smoke is inhaled it extinguishes the soul. A Gentled person will no longer eat, sleep, or shit of their own accord. It is a terrible fate, a fate worse than death.) The Bondsmage has his fingers cut off, and cauterized so that he can no longer do more sorcery. They threaten to cut out his tongue, and then the Bondsmagi tells them where they will find the Grey King. At falselight (just after dusk) he will be escaping through Camorr's bay on a boat that had sailed in waving plague colors, but was really merely a front, and fed provisions and the entirety of Barsavi, and the Gentleman Bastards' fortune. The Grey King never wanted to be Capa of Camorr, he wanted to take revenge on the Nobility, on Barsavi who had first agreed to the Secret Peace. And now, with this done he would sail away, and Locke would have to choose between catching the Grey King alone before he set sail, or saving Camorr. Locke snarls that there is no choice at all, and orders Jean to cut out the Bondsmage's tongue, before setting out for Raven's Reach once more.
→ At Raven's Reach Vorchenza is pissed, and so are the Salvaras and everyone who knew Locke as a fraud. He pleads with them and tells them what he knows, asks them to check statues that had been cleared as gifts for the Duke by Vorchenza herself, under an addled mind thanks to the Falconer. The gifts from the Grey King are full of Wraithstone, and working together, the Midnighters, Locke, and the Salvaras manage to haul all of the statues into the Hanging Garden's pool, where the water renders the Wraithstone inert. Locke then bargains with Vorchenza to release him, and that the plague ship is full of goats and rats sick with Black Whisper, to be rammed into Camorr. He begs Vorchenza to sink it- and she agrees, unknowingly sending thousands of crowns to the bottom of the sea. Locke's death offering for his lost friends, stolen once from the nobility of Camorr, stolen again from the Grey King. A massive death offering worthy of the memory of his friends. Vorchenza also agrees to release Locke, but with the promise that should she ever see him again he will spend the rest of his life in prison at the Palace of Patience.
→ Racing from Raven's Reach to the Floating Grave, Locke finds the Grey King waiting for him, rapier in hand. Locke has a rapier of his own, given to him by Vorchenza's right hand man. Locke and the Grey King duel, and Locke is greivously injured, but in the end, manages to kill the Grey King. Jean finds Locke, bleeding to death, and sobbing. Locke asks Jean to leave him there, says that he won't make it, but Jean refuses to leave Locke behind. Locke begs for forgiveness, feeling hollowed out now that his revenge has been finished, and left still feeling guilt ridden for the deaths of his friends. Together, Locke, Jean and Ibelius (tending to Locke's wounds) sail out from the Bay of Camorr, where Locke watches Camorr fade into the hazy grey distance, one last time.
[Personality] Locke is a Gentleman Bastard, in every sense of the words. Locke can be sophisticated, and curteous- but more often than not, this is merely a face; a fraud to manipulate those around him. Locke has been schooled in many different languages, cultures and mannerisms so that he can act as whatever character is required of him. He can become anything from an arrogant prince to the most humble of beggars on command. It comes as no surprise then, that Locke has a taste for the theatrical, and the grand. He invests in costumes of every color and cut, alchemical powders and oils and dyes to change his hair, makeup to give scars, whatever the game calls for. When Locke sets his mind to creating a confidence game, they are incredibly elaborate. Locke considers them from every angle, wanting to make sure that the noose is slipped around his mark, and not his own neck. What this means, is that he is incredibly smart, imaginitive, and analytical. That isn't to say that he doesn't screw up, because he certainly does. But Locke's one greatest asset is his ability to think on his feet. He can make incredibly delicates snap decisions within a moment's notice, and when Locke sets his mind on something he wants, there is very little that can deter him from getting it.
Locke is also incredibly loyal. Almost overwhelmingly so. Even despite his extreme avarice, the one thing that Locke puts first and formost over this is the safety of his friends. They are the ones who he truly considers family, and he would and will do anything to protect them. At least, if they were there to protect, anyway. This explains the incredible lengths Locke will go to to seek revenge for any friends of his that have been wronged. Locke will stop at nothing to exact revenge against those who cross him and he believes deserve it, and has nearly killed himself in the process of taking it on more than one occasion. His determination for such things knows no bounds, and he will not allow any obstacle to stand in his way of this when it is required.
That said, Locke is not quick to trust. Growing up as an orphan in the Catchfire district is not something that has ever been lost on Locke, and so it takes a great deal of time and effort to gain the thief's true loyalties. He is always a little wary of strangers, attempting to gauge their motivations and methods, both so that he may learn how to manipulate them and get the most of what he wants out of them, and so he may gauge whether or not they could become a potential threat.
Locke is cunning, manipulative, and charismatic. He can charm his way through the most difficult and delicate of situations with his gilded tongue. He is very aware of the words he uses, and the effect they can have on a person, and so when it is needed he can be quite thoughtful in the way he phrases things. However, in closer company, he has been known to drop such facades and swear like a pirate, although he's never been quite as uncouth as the Sanzas.
He is also a very emotional person. He takes his failings to heart very seriously, and once the grave seriousness of a situation has been dealt with, it is not uncommon for him to sulk or mope in a moment of calm thereafter. He has a difficult time dealing with these moments on his own, and it is often through a sharp crack to the skull (verbally or physically) from Jean that has snapped him out of these moments of self-loathing and despair. Jean once described Locke as 'one third bad intentions, one third avarice, one eighth sawdust, and the rest, I'll give you, must be brains.'
The final characteristic of note in Locke is his stubborn streak. When he has made up his mind about something he is loath to let it go until he has seen it through to completion. He is also somewhat egotistical. He doesn't think he's completely infalliable, but he does have a slightly bloated amount of pride in his work. Although this will be suffering due to the events at the end of 'The Lies of Locke Lamora' it is something that he will begin to regain. Another worthwhile note is that Locke has never murdured indiscriminantly. He has always set out to achieve his goal of robbing as much money as possible out of someone without bloodshed. However, all bets are off should you happen to mess with his friends, as previously stated.
[Abilities] Locke has no real abilities to speak of, other than his incredible wit and quick thinking. He isn't skilled with any particular weapons, but can speak several languages, and is an incredible actor. He can call upon many different types of accent, as well as conjur up haughtiness from nothing. With the right materials, not even his best friends would recognize him, so skilled is he at 'false-facing'. It is once noted that he is two very different characters before the same people in a matter of hours, on the same day, and nothing is ever even so much as suspected. Locke is also incredibly fast, and light on his feet. Two skills that no thief should ever be without. There are very few pockets Locke cannot charm, and he is very skilled at tricks requiring slight of hand.
[Other important stuff] Due to the nature of the end of The Lies of Locke Lamora, Locke will still be recovering from grief, and depression at the loss of his friends. (Not to mention his injuries.) He feels that it is entirely his fault, and he will likely be a recovering alcoholic for some time.
[Sample post]
[First Person]
- You have two options: either save your friend who is hanging from a cliff, or chase after the bad guy who put them in a position. If you choose the former, the bad guy will get away and it will be hard to catch him. If you choose the latter, the cliff will crumble and the friend will fall to the spiky rocks below. What do you do and why?
Well that's no question at all, is it? I'd save my friend. We Camorri have a long memory for revenge, and if I have to have to chase the fucker across the Sea of Brass and beyond then so be it. Jean's a heavy man though, it might be a bit of a trick to haul him up from a cliff by myself.
- If you could go back home, would you? Why or why not?
If by 'home', you mean Camorr- then forget it. I'm not exactly eager to spend the remainder of my life getting acquanted with a spider cage at the Palace of Patience.
- If you could destroy a city, how would you do it?
With a gods-damned lot of fire oil. And if I could pick which city, it'd be Karthain. I've had about enough of Bondsmage's to last me a life time.
- You are suddenly told you are the child of an ancient prophecy to save the world. How do you feel? Will you embark on your journey? Or would you rather shove it onto someone else and run away? Explain.
[ Locke starts to laugh. And laugh, and laugh. After several long minutes of this, he kind of smiles wryly, shaking his head and uttering ] Well shit. [ And he just leaves it at that. ]
- You just got a challenge to fight from one of the strongest gang leaders around. Do you accept or reject? Why?
Well that depends. Is the gang trying to get me to swear loyalty to them? In that case I'll fight and get my ass kicked. I know I'm not much of a fighter- but that's always what Jean has been for. No one I know would willingly mess with Jean Tannen. And if Jean's not around- well, I guess I'm in for one hell of a beating. Doesn't mean I'll back down or give in, though.
- Would you consider yourself a hero or a villain? Why? Neither is an option as well, but still tell why.
I'd say I fall at a bit of an in-between. I mean I'm not exactly the most moral of people, but I don't go out of my way to murder or rape. I mean really when you think about it, stealing isn't the worst thing I could be doing with my time.
- If I offered to save your soul for a price, would you go with it and why?
My soul is all full-up with larceny and bad intentions. And I quite like it that way, thank you very much. I'll take my chances with the Lady of the Long Silence as is.
- Would you consider yourself a power hungry individual?
No. I'm ambitious in different ways, but power has never been something I'll actively seek. Capa Barsavi once called it prudence, and I suppose that's true. But I've never wanted an office of power, because I've never wanted the problems it entails. My responsibilities as a garrista are more than enough for me... And look where my leadership landed my friends.
[Third Person]
Nights like these, Locke remembers Camorr. The images, and memories that pass behind his mind's eye are so vivid, so real he can almost smell the hot pungent odur of a sprawling city, nearly splitting at it's seams with wealth, commerce, and best of all: avarice. He remembers nights like these, when the mists are rising up from the channels that cut through Camorr, spreading a humid mist over the city and only intensifying it's smells. He remembers Shades' Hill, sweating and heaving and stinking with other filthy little orphans, just like him.
But these memories always turn to a darker place, and a shuddering ache runs through him, brings him to a pause on the lonely street. This is something that doesn't remind him of Camorr. Filled to almost bursting it was unusual to be alone on the streets, and a prickling sensation of warning that Locke can't help raises the hairs on the back of his neck. He knows better, knows that this place is nothing like Camorr, and being alone on the street doesn't mean anything-
Still, he can't help but remember.
"We should have run," he whispers to himself, a hand lifting to his face to brush away the cold sweat that he can't help. Faces flash behind his eyes, each one a brother; a Bastard; a friend. Jean isn't here, and Locke can't help but wonder if Jean will be better off that way. Without Locke, there's no one to make stupid decisions on his behalf.
Well, that's not true. Jean can make his own stupid decisions now. But there'll be no one to rescue Locke from his own.
He moves for the tavern then, memories and grief cutting through him anew. Raw, and hollow, he seeks solace in the bottom of a bottle, because here it's all he has.
[Why do you want to play this character in Somarium?] When I went looking for a game to place Locke I considered a lot of options. I wanted somewhere where I could keep him in character, and organize fun plots involving him robbing the hell out of certain characters. Running confidence games just as he would have were he still in his own world. I feel that Somarium can deliver this, so long as other players are willing (and I do so hope they will be!) and also the pre-existing police force just makes the honey pot sweeter. Locke can't quite resist knowing that he is tricking those around him with his schemes. It isn't the act of having money that Locke enjoys, it's the act of stealing it. Also I have friends in this game who I love and adore and they enabled me terribly.
[Which rule was your favorite and why?] Probably the rule about language characteristics. I like that characters sort of have the option as to whether or not they are speaking in their own language or if it's merely one that everyone can understand. It'll make Locke and his knowledge of languages rather interesting, since none of them would translate into languages that we commonly refer to. (Although I personally imagine that Vadran is a version of Germanic, or Russian.)
[Where did you hear about Somarium?] From Mhairi, Lili, and Kandy. (Also from stalking the Dastan mun. Shhh)
[Any questions?] What... is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?