Sorry i'm not home right now, i'm walkin through the spiderwebs
it's been awhile, and i haven't been especially busy, i just haven't really had anything to write about because my thoughts have not been cohesive enough to organize and write / type out. my anxiety was acting up really bad recently because of this whole quantitative situation and just trying to get that taken care of while trying to do the work for my other classes. as much as people say, oh yeah, i hate math too, you'll be fine - it's so much more than that, and people never understand and it puts so much pressure on me when i continue not understanding a word the professor or the TA say. as much as it's true that it's one class, that i can get tutors and whatever i still am so afraid of just DOING the math and trying to think that way and learn it, it legit scares the shit outta me because i always fail to learn it, and then people just get mad at me and think i'm not trying. it pokes around the back of my head all day then when i have to go to class it's like so horrible i can't even deal sometimes. i can't even pay attention because it makes me feel retarded when nothing they show me in class makes any sense, while everyone else just smiles and nods like it's no problem. just talking about it makes me anxious, i need to stop.
aside from the math issue haunting every aspect of my life, things have been improving for the most part. Kevin and i are doing great, i am so happy with that part of my life, it continues to get better and better and he continues to make me happier and happier. it's really freaking awesome.
i got Brand New's new cd ; Daisy ; and i am not really impressed... the first few songs are too sloppy and screamy.. which some bands that's what they do but Jesse Lacey can sing, and i wish he did more on this album. it's really flat and the guitar is too distorted, i really can't decide if i'm pleased at all with the cd. the last few songs were better, but they're too Deja Entendu ish... and i mean that's a great album but what i love about Brand New is that they always did something different on each album, each time getting better and better yet carrying certain musical aspects that i really enjoyed and respected... this cd i feel does not work for them, and they could have been more creative and done better from a lyrical standpoint and a musical standpoint. i'm really not impressed. maybe it will grow on me, but i'll update if it does. i keep listening to it hoping i'll start to like it... so far that plan has failed.
Olive is sick and losing too much weight and the vet upped her medication.. she's been on the same dose for 2 years and she's done great and she's been really happy lately and i wish i could be home all the time to take care of her... i'm gonna stop in Saturday to see her for awhile and just catch up with my mom on how she's reacting to the new meds. she's getting old and it scares me, she's my baby. she's almost 11 and bah, i wish she could live forever being a lovely happy Olive kitty.
TJ Maxx might be hiring me in mid october! super exciting seeing as i have $38.97 to my name.. and my gas tank can only run on empty for so long... and my school bills and car insurance won't pay themselves as much as i'd love for them to. fuck having responsibility. sometimes i am so proud that i've been working for myself since i was 12 and buying my own clothes and even school lunch all through high school, i paid for my own car and it's insurance, and all that good stuff. i mean, my mom helps me out now because i quit Dunkin Donuts and wanted to focus on getting back to school and just never really went out for employment again until recently - but she can't afford to pay my bills for the whole school year and she's keeping track of what i owe her and it's just going to build and be worse and i can't wait to pay her back because it's all on her credit card and once those bills come it needs to be paid - i need to start making money soon, i refuse to be without my car and having some emergency money, and just having a little money in general for weekend fun or just whatever. being broke is dumb, esp when i've been making my own money for so long, i feel so helpless now, it sucks.
(Kevin don't read this it's a Degrassi spoiler)
i finally got around to finishing the Degrassi movie, i am so ashamed it took me so long, but the Craig and Ellie ending - not satisfying. the Manny and Jay ending - did NOT see them reuniting, but i'm glad they did. <3 Degrassi
well i'm tired and need to finish 3 more sections of Fight Club for Eng020 at 9am... not too bad considering it's a good book and it's an enjoyable class - just sorta wanna sleep. Coming out Stories was great but now i'm tired from paying attention for so long lol.
kbye.
aside from the math issue haunting every aspect of my life, things have been improving for the most part. Kevin and i are doing great, i am so happy with that part of my life, it continues to get better and better and he continues to make me happier and happier. it's really freaking awesome.
i got Brand New's new cd ; Daisy ; and i am not really impressed... the first few songs are too sloppy and screamy.. which some bands that's what they do but Jesse Lacey can sing, and i wish he did more on this album. it's really flat and the guitar is too distorted, i really can't decide if i'm pleased at all with the cd. the last few songs were better, but they're too Deja Entendu ish... and i mean that's a great album but what i love about Brand New is that they always did something different on each album, each time getting better and better yet carrying certain musical aspects that i really enjoyed and respected... this cd i feel does not work for them, and they could have been more creative and done better from a lyrical standpoint and a musical standpoint. i'm really not impressed. maybe it will grow on me, but i'll update if it does. i keep listening to it hoping i'll start to like it... so far that plan has failed.
Olive is sick and losing too much weight and the vet upped her medication.. she's been on the same dose for 2 years and she's done great and she's been really happy lately and i wish i could be home all the time to take care of her... i'm gonna stop in Saturday to see her for awhile and just catch up with my mom on how she's reacting to the new meds. she's getting old and it scares me, she's my baby. she's almost 11 and bah, i wish she could live forever being a lovely happy Olive kitty.
TJ Maxx might be hiring me in mid october! super exciting seeing as i have $38.97 to my name.. and my gas tank can only run on empty for so long... and my school bills and car insurance won't pay themselves as much as i'd love for them to. fuck having responsibility. sometimes i am so proud that i've been working for myself since i was 12 and buying my own clothes and even school lunch all through high school, i paid for my own car and it's insurance, and all that good stuff. i mean, my mom helps me out now because i quit Dunkin Donuts and wanted to focus on getting back to school and just never really went out for employment again until recently - but she can't afford to pay my bills for the whole school year and she's keeping track of what i owe her and it's just going to build and be worse and i can't wait to pay her back because it's all on her credit card and once those bills come it needs to be paid - i need to start making money soon, i refuse to be without my car and having some emergency money, and just having a little money in general for weekend fun or just whatever. being broke is dumb, esp when i've been making my own money for so long, i feel so helpless now, it sucks.
(Kevin don't read this it's a Degrassi spoiler)
i finally got around to finishing the Degrassi movie, i am so ashamed it took me so long, but the Craig and Ellie ending - not satisfying. the Manny and Jay ending - did NOT see them reuniting, but i'm glad they did. <3 Degrassi
well i'm tired and need to finish 3 more sections of Fight Club for Eng020 at 9am... not too bad considering it's a good book and it's an enjoyable class - just sorta wanna sleep. Coming out Stories was great but now i'm tired from paying attention for so long lol.
kbye.