[013 ☿] Even if the two of us are ever torn apart, I swear that I will change the world.

[waterfell]

The forest is quiet, and green. A cloaked man heads towards an altar in a clearing, already laid out with candles and, crosswise, his sword in its sheath. He takes a deep, cleansing breath, and picks it up

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[herlonelystar]

[ Perhaps Usagi coming here was meant to be or perhaps it was coincidence. She's sure that it's not the latter -- across space and the universe, they were connected.

The ice flowers are only a passing curiosity. Her main focus is the woman tending to the gravestone so quietly and so carefully. She steps forward, staying quiet but walking loud enough so that her companion can hear, until she's standing close enough that she can see the stone very clearly but giving Mercury enough space so she's not encroaching on that personal bubble.

Usagi kneels down and claps her hands twice in front of her -- offering but only a silent prayer to the memory of Kunzite. She may not have known this version but he's important to Mercury. As such she's going to give him the utmost respect. It would be rude of her otherwise. ]

[waterfell]

[It's all so ironic in so many ways. She can't help thinking, at this moment, of how amused he'd been to learn Usagi had fought the Entropi under her command in Econtra. He'd be equally amused at this, at a gesture of respect from such a frustrating enemy.

Or angry.

For her part, Mercury finally looks up, straight at the stone instead of her eyes lowered.]

The man buried here is not from my world.

[It's the most tentative of peace offerings, this neutral statement rather than any question or demand.]

We met in Econtra. [The strange world she'd once told Usagi about.]

[herlonelystar]

[ Once done with her small prayer, Usagi settles her hands on bent knees, listening to the words of the dark senshi. Her face is thoughtful once mentioned he's not from the same world, but it makes no difference.

Lives were touched for better or worse. It doesn't matter what time, what planet, what universe one is from.

There's a small spot of water on the marker, so while Mercury talks, she's just going to bend over to wipe it away. She's still listening -- there's no reason for her to interrupt reminiscing right now. ]

[waterfell]

[What else is there to say? She's spent three years trying to understand it. She asked him to at least explain it, to make her understand it if she had to bear it. In the end, she can only go by what she knows herself:

First of all, she was not worth staying for, living for - again. Second, she is incapable of making her feelings reach someone now (and why had she wasted it on saving Tsukino Usagi, another pair of deaf ears her voice can't reach, when she was still capable?)

And she really only has one answer, one thing to hold to and remember, whether this, too, is good or ill:]

He, from the start, intended for me to live.

[Even if he hadn't kept that promise to help her if her future turned as dangerous as he knew it could, they had both kept the promise to change their worlds. They had kept the promise to be united in their common goals. And he had prepared her for the idea of living one once he left

[herlonelystar]

[ It's been awhile. Talking out concerns with someone might at least help organize the thoughts -- bring things into perspective that one never thought could be possible. So, still she's very quiet and with open ears.

Usagi's legs are starting to fall asleep, but the only kind of movement to show her discomfort is her tucking her skirt under the bend of her knees and then settling back down to that kneeling position. ]

[waterfell]

[It's the listening that undoes her, that makes her keep talking, so much more than she normally might, especially to a girl she isn't even sure how to feel about right now.

A girl she spent even longer hating than she's spent mourning this man buried here, but a girl who might - just might - be different and who's made her question those memories all over again, slowly but undeniably, who's cracked the ice of that willful refusal to look at them because Mercury chose which to believe.]

All that time, his world had already gone further than mine.

[She turns away now, looking down at Usagi from the advantage of her standing height.]

And in Econtra, I learned what was coming to them both. That was our decision to change it absolutely.

[He'd told her plainly: She had the better chance, an earlier start, the opportunity to prevent so much more and end it so much earlier. So she had.]

[herlonelystar]

[ There's something inside of Usagi that pings; it's the spoiling of the future and the words of someone else she had met on the dream scape. How people will change their future if they hear about it.

Because that's what she's let sink in has happened -- the future was changed since it wasn't to their liking. She doesn't judge though. It would be hypocritical of her if she did.

And finally, for the first time since stepping onto the mourning site, Usagi speaks in a very soft tone. ]

And you did.

[waterfell]

[No one can judge this; all of them had fought to prevent the future from repeating the past. All of them had a future they didn't want. Even her renewed determination to keep on this dark path had come from wanting there to be a future, and she'll refuse to call that wrong.

It's her first reasons that might have been wrong - if that matters anymore, when it's already done now.]

I did. I was at his side until then.

[He'd promised her that much, at least, and kept it; that he would be there until her world was settled.]

[herlonelystar]

Is it close to the anniversary? [ Since she's dreaming about this now, it must be some sort of significance. Tilting her head up, Usagi finally lets her eyes meet Mercury's, already knowing the answer but wondering if the other senshi will explain why it is that he had decided to end his life.

Even if she doesn't, that's her prerogative. Usagi's just here to listen as she does if it will help make the other girl feel better. ]

[waterfell]

Three years. [Her answer is still brief, but it comes from the subject rather than from the girl she's speaking it to, this time.]

He disappeared three years ago. [The euphemism is so much easier to say. What she doesn't say, still, is that she simply hadn't been enough to change his mind.]

He probably felt there was nothing to remain for once his goals were achieved. [Vengeance and self-given duty achieved, what was there? Except for a girl who'd come to look to him for advice and even help.]

[herlonelystar]

[ When Mercury says that he had nothing to live for... it seems to spark a kind of anger inside of Usagi. All that time they had been together... they had made those kinds of promises. Didn't that mean that the girl next to her was special?

Why would he do something like that? How could he do that to her?

Her fists clench in her lap and she has to look at something.. anything else so she can keep herself from being too angry at what she's hearing. ]

[waterfell]

[Yet what else could it be? She's had time to think about this, and anyone knowing Kunzite would know immediately that he would never be driven to take his life in despair; so it was something else. It was a simple completion, a life that served its purpose and then finally was able to rest the way it should have been allowed to rest so many tens of thousands of years ago. In a way, in her head, she even understands it.

It's getting her heart to match up to her head that's never been as easy as she wishes it was. It's Usagi's anger that surprises her. Mercury gives the other girl an almost uncertain look. Anger on her behalf?]

He had a will that didn't back down for anything. That's all.

[herlonelystar]

[ Those words fail to soothe the growing frustration building. But Usagi's trying. She's trying so very hard not to just start speaking up about how cruel that seems. It's why her hands are shaking gradually.

But, it's moot point to be angry now. Usagi takes a very deep but silent breath before exhaling. It doesn't seem to do much, but it's enough to keep the anger from taking over her voice. She still has to say it though. No matter how rational she needs to be, it's still her opinion. ]

That's still not fair.

[waterfell]

[They're the words to spur her to anger, though it isn't precisely directed at Usagi. It's directed at how easy it is to say those things, and how much different it is in the reality.

Of course it's not fair.

The words burst out of her before she can stop them - something she hates in herself. They're quick, angry, taut with frustration and more than that, tight with a pain she tries not to show.]

I live this way!

[It's not fair at all. And yet she's inside it, trapped, caught.]

[herlonelystar]

You shouldn't have to.

[ And finally, Usagi stands from the gravesite, giving it one last look before she turns her head to stare at the Dark senshi. It's frustrating on her end -- she doesn't want to see her like this. But, she's not exactly sure what she could say that wouldn't be brushed off as just another empty speech. So, in true Usagi fashion, she blurts out the first thing she can possibly come up with. ]

We should do something different.

[ Something not defined by the past. Not defined by the people who aren't here even if for just a dream. They've paid their respects. It's time to move on. ]

[waterfell]

[She opens her mouth to argue, but that last statement cuts through it. She pauses, and finally nods instead.]

I already know I can't stay here forever.

[It's an assertion that she isn't letting whatever feelings may be in this place hold sway; and her own purpose to leave.]

I'm returning to Mariner Castle. [She doesn't quite look beside her to see if Usagi intends to join her. But even announcing it is at least half an invitation.]