well, now I'm just bonkers.
ok, tried to work out, fail... I've lost a lot more of my muscle than I thought, this is gonna take serious work to get enough basic strength back. The biking should have helped stop it, oh wait, I didn't fight the fucking weather alot, that and constant work along my route again is making it impossible if the ground is wet as my bike is actually covered in mud, much like a coat and the fucking back pack..
But I'm losing sight of what I'm really pissed about- I'm pissed at myself for letting my strength get that low, for chain-smoking (I'm out of breath from a flat 2 mile bike-ride), for allowing myself to eat way too many bad foods (mmm chocolate)... and dare I forget putting off the work to follow my dreams... this is entirely my fault.
*sigh* stupid stupid me. *sigh* but I feel better and no beer until that fucking fafsa is done, I have all the tools now. although a shower is a good idea about now.
But I'm losing sight of what I'm really pissed about- I'm pissed at myself for letting my strength get that low, for chain-smoking (I'm out of breath from a flat 2 mile bike-ride), for allowing myself to eat way too many bad foods (mmm chocolate)... and dare I forget putting off the work to follow my dreams... this is entirely my fault.
*sigh* stupid stupid me. *sigh* but I feel better and no beer until that fucking fafsa is done, I have all the tools now. although a shower is a good idea about now.