first entry
today was an okay day, except for the fact that I was home sick again. its driving me crazy i just want my health back. I do whatever I can to get my mind off of everything, but its so hard.. I guess I have too many emotions I cant control. Im going to wonderland this weekend with a few of my friends. That should go well... i hope. Im friends with Sam again.. which is good. We were in a fight for awhile, but I guess it had to end sooner or later..it always does. Why can't I stop thinking about him? I dont know..its so hard.. he's everything to me. Im gonna move on, I guess it just takes time..Id be really upset seeing him with another girl though...I hope that doesn't happen anytime soon.. :( Who knows..maybe one day we'll be together again..I doubt it..but im gonna hope. I really need to get a job.. I never have money anymore..not that I did to begin with..lol. But I really need to get one..I guess its all about putting your mind to it.. which I guess I really havent since handing out resumes with brit a month and a bit ago. Last week I was home sick every day. Its crazy.. I have to wait until july 6 to get my operation..almost 2 more months of suffering.. :S.. so much medication its making me lose my mind..I dont even feel like a real person anymore. But I dont know really.. its confusing. my life is confusing.. ahhh..