(no subject)
Dear fucking asshole neighbors,
In lieu of the fact that we are almost two thirds finished with the end of the year, I feel that now is an excellent time to evaluate our relationship with one another. I am certain that you are both lovely and wonderful people, so I don't think that you would mind fulfilling a few of the following requests (I understand that they are a bit unreasonable, but I believe that you are talented, motivated, and capable enough to try):
1. Please use your INSIDE voices INSIDE and your OUTSIDE voices OUTSIDE. I realize that you are both gifted interlopers, but such scintillating conversations as "OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR" are just as scintillating when conducted at a semi-normal tone.
2. In most countries, the proper way to announce one's arrival is to knock politely at the door. Occasionally, the occupant of the room may be temporarily unavailable, so pausing a few moments before knocking again is perfectly acceptable. Banging on the door is harmful to both the door and the inhabitants inside.
3. The walls in our dorm are delicate, and tend to vibrate slightly. However, the paint unfortunately does not. Thanks to your very eclectic taste in music (i.e. anything is acceptable as long as it is loud), the crack above my bed is becoming progressively more defined. Though I admit it adds an interesting variation to an otherwise reasonably plain room, I don't thing the housing office would agree. Neither would I if I woke up covered in plaster.
4. Headless mannequins are not the most hospitable hall decorations.
5. Opening the door to the outside all the way prevents it from closing and causes the alarm to go off. Please close the door. Oh, and tell your friends to do the same, so that I don't get another bruise on my instep. Then I might really not be able to walk, as opposed to the hobble with which serves as my current mode of transportation.
6. If you fail your finals, you will get kicked out of school.
I am sure these mild requests will be of no inconvenience to you. In the spirit of our beautiful friendship, I must advise you that I may slash your tires in the near future.
All my love,
Vivian
In lieu of the fact that we are almost two thirds finished with the end of the year, I feel that now is an excellent time to evaluate our relationship with one another. I am certain that you are both lovely and wonderful people, so I don't think that you would mind fulfilling a few of the following requests (I understand that they are a bit unreasonable, but I believe that you are talented, motivated, and capable enough to try):
1. Please use your INSIDE voices INSIDE and your OUTSIDE voices OUTSIDE. I realize that you are both gifted interlopers, but such scintillating conversations as "OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR" are just as scintillating when conducted at a semi-normal tone.
2. In most countries, the proper way to announce one's arrival is to knock politely at the door. Occasionally, the occupant of the room may be temporarily unavailable, so pausing a few moments before knocking again is perfectly acceptable. Banging on the door is harmful to both the door and the inhabitants inside.
3. The walls in our dorm are delicate, and tend to vibrate slightly. However, the paint unfortunately does not. Thanks to your very eclectic taste in music (i.e. anything is acceptable as long as it is loud), the crack above my bed is becoming progressively more defined. Though I admit it adds an interesting variation to an otherwise reasonably plain room, I don't thing the housing office would agree. Neither would I if I woke up covered in plaster.
4. Headless mannequins are not the most hospitable hall decorations.
5. Opening the door to the outside all the way prevents it from closing and causes the alarm to go off. Please close the door. Oh, and tell your friends to do the same, so that I don't get another bruise on my instep. Then I might really not be able to walk, as opposed to the hobble with which serves as my current mode of transportation.
6. If you fail your finals, you will get kicked out of school.
I am sure these mild requests will be of no inconvenience to you. In the spirit of our beautiful friendship, I must advise you that I may slash your tires in the near future.
All my love,
Vivian