That's one of the things that gets me - the slurs back and forth, and its wounding everyone in the same way. I wish everyone would step back and say "whoa there. I'm making her feel how I feel about this, only reversing the size."
This is true. It goes back to something I've been thinking about. Despite all the feminist theory out there, despite all the lit out there that shows we're stronger as a united front, despite all these things ... women can be catty. For no other reason than perceived threats to ... any number of things. Perceived threat to relationship, perceived threat to job, perceived threat to popularity. And so on. Even random, odd things - perceived threats to who is the biggest martyr... I've seen that one before and it just doesn't make any sense. Why would someone fight for the title of the biggest martyr!?
You're 100% right on the universality of weight as an insult too - it is the easiest way to be catty, to cut to the quick, to make a remark that is almost certain to affect the victim.
I? Could not agree more. I was always pretty average, but I've always been on the curvy side. And then I did the exact same thing as you...just hit some really, really rough times, and either didn't care to eat, didn't have time/remember to eat, or didn't have an appetite. And suddenly I was no longer 115lbs, but 80. And I was unhealthy as hell. Yet people would go on and on and on about how "lucky" I was to be that skinny...it was like...what?! I'm *dying*. You think I'm *lucky*??? Or, the other side of the coin, like you said, the skinny bitch comments, or automatically assuming I was anorexic...all of that
( ... )
I think that's exactly what kills me about it - its a catch-22 and no one can ever win. Plus the idea of normal is so skewed now, it is hard to say what is normal. So no one wins. Everyone feels bad. Argh!
I think that when I've used "anorexic" as an insult was when I was trying to imply that the "typical" traits associated with the disease (perfectionism, irrational control issues) bled into other areas. Like, where the super skinny girl is asking for too much and being a total bitch about not being able to get it. Or being unsympathetic about others' plights. Anorexia is cruel and unforgiving; when a skinny person exhibits those traits, it's easy to wonder.
The other thing is, I think people with weight issues have a hard time talking to people who HAVE changed their weight. I know I personally consider my lack of control over my weight as being the signpost of severe character flaws. It's hard to talk to somebody who has changed their life because you feel naked in front of them, both that they can see the obvious "flaw" of having an atypical body, and that you're, deep down, not only ugly, but also despicable.
Oh, I understand the whole using it as a tie-in to other traits they may actually be exhibiting (the irrational control issues in particular). But for me, it would be the same as someone using fat just because the person was messy with something, or what-have-you. Again, part of it for me is probably the having lived on both ends. I don't want someone to feel like I did in 8th grade, 9th grade, 10th grade (it is odd to me that college was SO much easier, even though the size at some points was exactly the same). But I also don't want someone feeling the way I did in those grades, only that they feel that way because they're at the other end. It drives me batty
( ... )
And I definitely haven't used it as an insult in recent years, cus you're right, it's just bitchy, and it's even meaner, I think, than calling someone fat, because it's making fun of someone for having a disease. I mean, I wouldn't call someone an HIV-ridden Whore, even if it were true. At least, I don't think I would. . . maybe if I were a stand-up comedienne or something. ;-)
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Big hugs to you, darling.
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You're 100% right on the universality of weight as an insult too - it is the easiest way to be catty, to cut to the quick, to make a remark that is almost certain to affect the victim.
Sigh.
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I think that when I've used "anorexic" as an insult was when I was trying to imply that the "typical" traits associated with the disease (perfectionism, irrational control issues) bled into other areas. Like, where the super skinny girl is asking for too much and being a total bitch about not being able to get it. Or being unsympathetic about others' plights. Anorexia is cruel and unforgiving; when a skinny person exhibits those traits, it's easy to wonder.
The other thing is, I think people with weight issues have a hard time talking to people who HAVE changed their weight. I know I personally consider my lack of control over my weight as being the signpost of severe character flaws. It's hard to talk to somebody who has changed their life because you feel naked in front of them, both that they can see the obvious "flaw" of having an atypical body, and that you're, deep down, not only ugly, but also despicable.
Crazy. I know. :-)
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And I definitely haven't used it as an insult in recent years, cus you're right, it's just bitchy, and it's even meaner, I think, than calling someone fat, because it's making fun of someone for having a disease. I mean, I wouldn't call someone an HIV-ridden Whore, even if it were true. At least, I don't think I would. . . maybe if I were a stand-up comedienne or something. ;-)
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