(no subject)
It is always interesting to me to read about weight issues from my particular vantage point.
meta_quotes has one thread about someone complaining about fat suits that almost instantly spiraled downwards. It always happens about weight - you get the people who no matter what jump on the "who has a right to discuss this?" and "how dare we mention weight" or "how dare we not mention weight" or "what are you insinuating" or "you don't know how it is, because you're skinny/normal/fat". Sigh.
Here's where I come from:
For years and years, I was the chubby girl, the fat girl. Yes, I always carried it well - I remember even at my heaviest, my regular medical team in college always pegged me a good 20-25 pounds lower than I was. Which was all well and good. But I was a 14-16 (depending on store) at my highest point.
I'm now a 0 (oh yes, I am the invisible size). Grrrrrrrrreat. Really ... not. (Haha, random Wayne's World reference!)
To be honest, that happened as a result of me very much breaking down after a really rough 2002/2003. I think I started off at the fall of 2002 as a 10 /12. In the beginning a little weight was lost just normally. Then, I got really stressed out and lost my appetite, and my grandmother died and I kind of shut off for awhile. And then suddenly, by the end of 2003, I was a 0 or 2, and then eventually just 0. And I've been there since.
The sudden staying at 0 is strange. I was chubby in high school, really chubby. I very much hated the way I looked, especially in the earlier years. I made peace towards the end and was ok for the most part during college - I won't say I loved my highest point then, but I wasn't as hard on myself then. There were points where I was harder on myself than others, for sure, but I wasn't always as hard on myself as I regularly was during high school.
This whole having lived in each of the "weight worlds" (fat, normal and skinny) puts me in the position of pretty much not having a side about people and the weight they are (I don't care what size you are, I don't think people need to be anything but themselves and happy there). There is only one thing I have an opinion as far as weight: someone's size - regardless of whether it is "skinny", "normal", or "large" - should never be a factor in your view of them.
I hate when I see threads in any community where someone who is larger get denigrated because of that., and only that. When it is used as a random insult that has nothing to do with the actual discussion, it just really annoys the bejesus out of me. At least in this area, though, there's almost always an immediate backlash - the stupid person who posted it as a random insult is (properly) jumped upon.
I hate it just as much when I see comments about "silly anorexic bitches" - this also happens on a regular basis; in the customers suck LJ community,for example, there's always the angry stories about awful customers where "skinny" or "anorexic" is thrown in as an extra added insult to the person. It never has any contextual meaning - it is always just an extra added addition of "how can I further carry my point that this person was HORRIBLE. Oh yes, I'll throw in anorexic to prove the person was truly horrible!". And it pisses me off, because it is rare to see anyone jump upon the poster for that. Its somehow ok to attack someone and use them being skinny or possibly have an eating disorder as an insult.
It reminds me of a class I took at BU where this dick of psych major guy said that anyone who wasn't exact normal weight had an eating disorder in his eyes and that he intended to treat everyone as such because if you weren't EXACT NORMAL, you had A BIG PROBLEM and needed to KNOW you had a BIG PROBLEM - he's telling this to the class and even the teacher kinda raised her eyebrows at this comment. Smaller than normal? You're anorexic or bulimic! Larger than normal? Clearly, you are a compulsive over-eater! I literally wanted to take the guy outside and say "how can you be a psych major and interested in weight issues and have no understanding of what it is actually like to have an eating disorder, so much so that you ascribe any deviance from "normal weight" to an eating disorder?!" I did so in class, albeit in a very nice way. I know I didn't get it through to him though - he insinuated that I (being actually normal at the time) clearly did not have experience with any sort of weight issue and since he had been doing an internship at an ED clinic, he KNEW ALL THERE WAS TO KNOW. I dropped it at that point - didn't want to say "oh, you ass, I've been much heavier, I've struggled with eating disorders. Trust me, I know what it is like, I know what an eating disorder is. And I know what isn't one, too." It just wouldn't have gotten through to him. He was a firm believer in there only being one NORMAL. But now I've deviated. G-d, I still hate that guy.
My main point, before that deviation, was that eating disorders are somehow fair game as insults - at least finally now people are moving away from using fat as an insult - I'm not saying that it is never used, but people are moving away from it - because people have (again, RIGHTLY SO) jumped all over people doing so. But,k anorexic and bulimic and "stupid size 0 people" - I hate that somehow it is ok to use that as an insult now. And I hate that if you respond to people and say "You know, that's just not right," the response 9 times out of 10 is that "You don't know how it is - you're skinny." Yes. I am. But I wasn't always skinny. I DO know how it is. Very much so. Just because I now reside on the other end doesn't mean I don't remember exactly how it felt in 8th grade when my older brother convinced some assholes in my class to refer to me as "moo-cow". That feeling of complete worthlessness and vulnerability and awfulness based solely on my weight is permanently INGRAINED in me. And I don't think it should be ingrained in someone else because they reside on the other end of the scale from what I did in 8th grade. Goddamnit.
Sorry, just needed to get that out.
meta_quotes has one thread about someone complaining about fat suits that almost instantly spiraled downwards. It always happens about weight - you get the people who no matter what jump on the "who has a right to discuss this?" and "how dare we mention weight" or "how dare we not mention weight" or "what are you insinuating" or "you don't know how it is, because you're skinny/normal/fat". Sigh.
Here's where I come from:
For years and years, I was the chubby girl, the fat girl. Yes, I always carried it well - I remember even at my heaviest, my regular medical team in college always pegged me a good 20-25 pounds lower than I was. Which was all well and good. But I was a 14-16 (depending on store) at my highest point.
I'm now a 0 (oh yes, I am the invisible size). Grrrrrrrrreat. Really ... not. (Haha, random Wayne's World reference!)
To be honest, that happened as a result of me very much breaking down after a really rough 2002/2003. I think I started off at the fall of 2002 as a 10 /12. In the beginning a little weight was lost just normally. Then, I got really stressed out and lost my appetite, and my grandmother died and I kind of shut off for awhile. And then suddenly, by the end of 2003, I was a 0 or 2, and then eventually just 0. And I've been there since.
The sudden staying at 0 is strange. I was chubby in high school, really chubby. I very much hated the way I looked, especially in the earlier years. I made peace towards the end and was ok for the most part during college - I won't say I loved my highest point then, but I wasn't as hard on myself then. There were points where I was harder on myself than others, for sure, but I wasn't always as hard on myself as I regularly was during high school.
This whole having lived in each of the "weight worlds" (fat, normal and skinny) puts me in the position of pretty much not having a side about people and the weight they are (I don't care what size you are, I don't think people need to be anything but themselves and happy there). There is only one thing I have an opinion as far as weight: someone's size - regardless of whether it is "skinny", "normal", or "large" - should never be a factor in your view of them.
I hate when I see threads in any community where someone who is larger get denigrated because of that., and only that. When it is used as a random insult that has nothing to do with the actual discussion, it just really annoys the bejesus out of me. At least in this area, though, there's almost always an immediate backlash - the stupid person who posted it as a random insult is (properly) jumped upon.
I hate it just as much when I see comments about "silly anorexic bitches" - this also happens on a regular basis; in the customers suck LJ community,for example, there's always the angry stories about awful customers where "skinny" or "anorexic" is thrown in as an extra added insult to the person. It never has any contextual meaning - it is always just an extra added addition of "how can I further carry my point that this person was HORRIBLE. Oh yes, I'll throw in anorexic to prove the person was truly horrible!". And it pisses me off, because it is rare to see anyone jump upon the poster for that. Its somehow ok to attack someone and use them being skinny or possibly have an eating disorder as an insult.
It reminds me of a class I took at BU where this dick of psych major guy said that anyone who wasn't exact normal weight had an eating disorder in his eyes and that he intended to treat everyone as such because if you weren't EXACT NORMAL, you had A BIG PROBLEM and needed to KNOW you had a BIG PROBLEM - he's telling this to the class and even the teacher kinda raised her eyebrows at this comment. Smaller than normal? You're anorexic or bulimic! Larger than normal? Clearly, you are a compulsive over-eater! I literally wanted to take the guy outside and say "how can you be a psych major and interested in weight issues and have no understanding of what it is actually like to have an eating disorder, so much so that you ascribe any deviance from "normal weight" to an eating disorder?!" I did so in class, albeit in a very nice way. I know I didn't get it through to him though - he insinuated that I (being actually normal at the time) clearly did not have experience with any sort of weight issue and since he had been doing an internship at an ED clinic, he KNEW ALL THERE WAS TO KNOW. I dropped it at that point - didn't want to say "oh, you ass, I've been much heavier, I've struggled with eating disorders. Trust me, I know what it is like, I know what an eating disorder is. And I know what isn't one, too." It just wouldn't have gotten through to him. He was a firm believer in there only being one NORMAL. But now I've deviated. G-d, I still hate that guy.
My main point, before that deviation, was that eating disorders are somehow fair game as insults - at least finally now people are moving away from using fat as an insult - I'm not saying that it is never used, but people are moving away from it - because people have (again, RIGHTLY SO) jumped all over people doing so. But,k anorexic and bulimic and "stupid size 0 people" - I hate that somehow it is ok to use that as an insult now. And I hate that if you respond to people and say "You know, that's just not right," the response 9 times out of 10 is that "You don't know how it is - you're skinny." Yes. I am. But I wasn't always skinny. I DO know how it is. Very much so. Just because I now reside on the other end doesn't mean I don't remember exactly how it felt in 8th grade when my older brother convinced some assholes in my class to refer to me as "moo-cow". That feeling of complete worthlessness and vulnerability and awfulness based solely on my weight is permanently INGRAINED in me. And I don't think it should be ingrained in someone else because they reside on the other end of the scale from what I did in 8th grade. Goddamnit.
Sorry, just needed to get that out.