(no subject)
For the last 12 years I have been immersed so completely by the Catholic faith. The first time I haven't had a religion class and mass every week. Or had to wear a uniform, for Christ's sake.
I come home with the unrealistic expectation that everything will be the same. Fun fact about Laura: I hate change. Well, just some. But I come home excited to actually go to church. Honestly, excited. St. Mary's is seemingly unchanged on the outside. But on the inside, my home is basically gone. I call it my home because it has been exactly that for so long. I was baptized there. I grew up with beautiful caring people there. I sang in the choir there. I did the whole youth group scene there. I loved it there. Those people were family to me. Times change and people move away. Or are pushed away. Our new priest has been less than accommodating. And Kevin is gone. After he left, most the choir left too. I never thought this could affect me so much. But it has seriously taken a toll on my heart. Christmas is so sad and different without the whole choir. I do not feel much at all. I may not agree with a lot of Catholic rules and teachings, but it is the faith I have been raised in and therefore a large part of my life.
I just want it to be good again.
But Christmas is still Christmas. This may be the last with all my family together for a long time. That scares me so. I can't wait to see Matt and Drew. They are the loves of my life.
I come home with the unrealistic expectation that everything will be the same. Fun fact about Laura: I hate change. Well, just some. But I come home excited to actually go to church. Honestly, excited. St. Mary's is seemingly unchanged on the outside. But on the inside, my home is basically gone. I call it my home because it has been exactly that for so long. I was baptized there. I grew up with beautiful caring people there. I sang in the choir there. I did the whole youth group scene there. I loved it there. Those people were family to me. Times change and people move away. Or are pushed away. Our new priest has been less than accommodating. And Kevin is gone. After he left, most the choir left too. I never thought this could affect me so much. But it has seriously taken a toll on my heart. Christmas is so sad and different without the whole choir. I do not feel much at all. I may not agree with a lot of Catholic rules and teachings, but it is the faith I have been raised in and therefore a large part of my life.
I just want it to be good again.
But Christmas is still Christmas. This may be the last with all my family together for a long time. That scares me so. I can't wait to see Matt and Drew. They are the loves of my life.