house and home
I have been working so hard this summer, and I feel like I have deeply failed. We decided to buy the new house and move before getting the old house on the market, and the result was that the movers came and moved our stuff and my house in NJ stopped looking anything like my beautiful cozy home and just looked empty and dirty, and I needed to be in WV, dealing with life here, and have not been able to fix things up there. I tried to do stuff when I was there but there was this obstacle and that one, this failure and another, and like some sort of Tudor court, we have just left piles of mess and dirt behind for someone else to clean up, while we move on to a bright shiny new home.
Someone else, at this point and time, is first my brother and his wife to empty out our fridge and whatnot, and do a dozen little chores I thought I might do on my next trip up (which isn't until a month from now) because I can't get there right now to do it, and then five hours worth of a three woman professional cleaning team. Honestly, I didn't think we were going to get the house on the market until next spring, because there was so much to do, but as soon as we got past some obvious repairs, and met with the realtors to discuss what we should put on our list of things to do before it goes on the market, they talked us into putting it on the market immediately.
There's something to be said for getting it just done. We're selling it as-is, and well, some houses are not immaculate when people tour them. That's the way of the world.
But I wanted mine to be.
So many things in that house that I'll never accomplish now.
I put stuff off, and for good reason, but I'm so conflicted and unhappy about it right now. In the last few days I've been about as down as I have been at any point in this whole process. I'm upset about that house. I'm tired of dealing with strangers. I'm challenged by this house. I want to be super-homemaker now, and never let the dust settle on anything ever again. At the same time, I just want to SINK into homeschool bliss. I want to spend hours and hours and hours and hours reading novels, playing board games, reading about the life cycle of stars and watching documentaries on American history.
But my family doesn't necessarily understand any of this. I am the only one in the household who seems to be wanting to take up the batter cry of "never again!" and start dusting the baseboards. I can't say any more about that without griping. Likewise, the kids just want to play video games if they could make their own choices. They want to rush through the schoolwork to get to electronics, or they want to mope and get nothing done if I try to structure the day so that there is focus and work time, vs., electronic media time. Whatever we've done about electronic media, it's not going well right now.
I went out to the woods this morning and tried to put things in perspective, and it helped some, but I am very tightly wound right now.
I haven't been posting a lot this summer, because I've been actually working pretty hard, and I'm trying not to get lost in the whining, but rather just get doing. But I thought I would take a moment to see if this lets me vent a bit, and maybe someone's got a pep talk for me? I could sure use one.
Someone else, at this point and time, is first my brother and his wife to empty out our fridge and whatnot, and do a dozen little chores I thought I might do on my next trip up (which isn't until a month from now) because I can't get there right now to do it, and then five hours worth of a three woman professional cleaning team. Honestly, I didn't think we were going to get the house on the market until next spring, because there was so much to do, but as soon as we got past some obvious repairs, and met with the realtors to discuss what we should put on our list of things to do before it goes on the market, they talked us into putting it on the market immediately.
There's something to be said for getting it just done. We're selling it as-is, and well, some houses are not immaculate when people tour them. That's the way of the world.
But I wanted mine to be.
So many things in that house that I'll never accomplish now.
I put stuff off, and for good reason, but I'm so conflicted and unhappy about it right now. In the last few days I've been about as down as I have been at any point in this whole process. I'm upset about that house. I'm tired of dealing with strangers. I'm challenged by this house. I want to be super-homemaker now, and never let the dust settle on anything ever again. At the same time, I just want to SINK into homeschool bliss. I want to spend hours and hours and hours and hours reading novels, playing board games, reading about the life cycle of stars and watching documentaries on American history.
But my family doesn't necessarily understand any of this. I am the only one in the household who seems to be wanting to take up the batter cry of "never again!" and start dusting the baseboards. I can't say any more about that without griping. Likewise, the kids just want to play video games if they could make their own choices. They want to rush through the schoolwork to get to electronics, or they want to mope and get nothing done if I try to structure the day so that there is focus and work time, vs., electronic media time. Whatever we've done about electronic media, it's not going well right now.
I went out to the woods this morning and tried to put things in perspective, and it helped some, but I am very tightly wound right now.
I haven't been posting a lot this summer, because I've been actually working pretty hard, and I'm trying not to get lost in the whining, but rather just get doing. But I thought I would take a moment to see if this lets me vent a bit, and maybe someone's got a pep talk for me? I could sure use one.