(no subject)
At some point, some evil fucking baron of hell who toils at the center of the earth decided that it would be a good idea to build a Starbucks drive-thru right on my way to work. I cannot in words express to you exactly how apallingly, horribly, unflinchingly convenient this is to my life. I just have to pull off to the right, way in line for 30 seconds, and merge right back onto the road and onto the freeway from there.
This thing should be nuked from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.
So I go there today, right? (right.) And the place is almost eerie. It reminded me of the dystopian drug depo where everyone must go to get their drugs in the morning so they can be normal functioning members of society. Reading that last sentence again, that's exactly what it is. The people that work there are disturbingly perky but what is even more unsettling is how sincere they seemed. I truly believed that this person with whom I was talking to via speaker wanted nothing more than to know if I would like to try a Bananas and Creme Frappuccino. The creepy alacrity that the employees show is even more intense when contrasted with their clientele. These people stumble through the place like zombies (slow, old-school zombies) and seem to have trouble retaining expressions other than that face-drooping stare that only the retarded and the recently woken possess. This makes the baristas seem even more robotic and plastic in comparison.
I decided against suckling at the black teet and got a Pomegranate Juice Tea Frap thingie. Allow me to assure you that whip cream and narcotics (which are the same thing) were not involved.
I feel kind of bad for spending $4 just for a weird drink in the morning but this shit was really good, it made my morning a little better. Did it make it $4 better? Only time will tell.
This thing should be nuked from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.
So I go there today, right? (right.) And the place is almost eerie. It reminded me of the dystopian drug depo where everyone must go to get their drugs in the morning so they can be normal functioning members of society. Reading that last sentence again, that's exactly what it is. The people that work there are disturbingly perky but what is even more unsettling is how sincere they seemed. I truly believed that this person with whom I was talking to via speaker wanted nothing more than to know if I would like to try a Bananas and Creme Frappuccino. The creepy alacrity that the employees show is even more intense when contrasted with their clientele. These people stumble through the place like zombies (slow, old-school zombies) and seem to have trouble retaining expressions other than that face-drooping stare that only the retarded and the recently woken possess. This makes the baristas seem even more robotic and plastic in comparison.
I decided against suckling at the black teet and got a Pomegranate Juice Tea Frap thingie. Allow me to assure you that whip cream and narcotics (which are the same thing) were not involved.
I feel kind of bad for spending $4 just for a weird drink in the morning but this shit was really good, it made my morning a little better. Did it make it $4 better? Only time will tell.