(no subject)
Why is this seven-month old shit resurfacing? That all seriously ruined my day.
I think I have come to grips with myself that I am just not the same kind of christian most people tend to be around here. I have problems with the Bible, and I have problems with many religious dogmas that have gripped american-christian culture. There is too much closemindedness, too many damning fingers.
I guess I am a very liberal christian, and I have begun to get really uncomfortable at church sometimes. No, I don't run around and try to convert people, and I certainly don't act like a christian based on the standards that I hear from church. I have a pretty good understanding of the Bible, definitely more than most christians my age. I regularly attend church... but what is all of that?
I am not a spiritual person. I don't feel what everyone else seems to feel. I've never had a hunger to read the Bible, I cannot remember ever truly feeling any sort of holy experience or life moving anything. It's hard to believe in something so distant and intangible! I'm not saying I am an atheist here, but I refuse to pretend to be filled with the holy spirit when I clearly am not. I am just Ben, rational, logic, clear-thinking Ben. I don't have a clean mouth, nor do I have a clean mind, nor am I necessarily proud of either. I believe that there isn't a human out there (who has shed their innocence) who does. Thoughts are not evil, actions are. It is the brain's nature to speculate, to travel down the roads of "what if," and to come up with conclusions. But I think it is evil to mock God and pretend to affected by him through a show of upraised hands and false tears.
Ironically, I have no problems in believing in Creationism... it's much easier to believe in that than in the whole Big Bang idea.
Maybe this means I am damned, but I don't think so. I don't think God is as judgemental as we fearful ignorant humans have made him out to be. I think he wants us to do good because we ourselves truly want to, not because we are afraid of his judgement. I think he values honesty more than good acting.
I think I have come to grips with myself that I am just not the same kind of christian most people tend to be around here. I have problems with the Bible, and I have problems with many religious dogmas that have gripped american-christian culture. There is too much closemindedness, too many damning fingers.
I guess I am a very liberal christian, and I have begun to get really uncomfortable at church sometimes. No, I don't run around and try to convert people, and I certainly don't act like a christian based on the standards that I hear from church. I have a pretty good understanding of the Bible, definitely more than most christians my age. I regularly attend church... but what is all of that?
I am not a spiritual person. I don't feel what everyone else seems to feel. I've never had a hunger to read the Bible, I cannot remember ever truly feeling any sort of holy experience or life moving anything. It's hard to believe in something so distant and intangible! I'm not saying I am an atheist here, but I refuse to pretend to be filled with the holy spirit when I clearly am not. I am just Ben, rational, logic, clear-thinking Ben. I don't have a clean mouth, nor do I have a clean mind, nor am I necessarily proud of either. I believe that there isn't a human out there (who has shed their innocence) who does. Thoughts are not evil, actions are. It is the brain's nature to speculate, to travel down the roads of "what if," and to come up with conclusions. But I think it is evil to mock God and pretend to affected by him through a show of upraised hands and false tears.
Ironically, I have no problems in believing in Creationism... it's much easier to believe in that than in the whole Big Bang idea.
Maybe this means I am damned, but I don't think so. I don't think God is as judgemental as we fearful ignorant humans have made him out to be. I think he wants us to do good because we ourselves truly want to, not because we are afraid of his judgement. I think he values honesty more than good acting.