I want to hold you close....
ive had that song stuck in my head all day. its driving me crazy... because im like, yeah, i totally know how that feels. theres someone i want to fucking tear apart. *gihs* im so sick of it. so so sick of it. its... its driving me crazy. it really is.
and ive been doing weird things. craving weird things. things that a year ago i wouldnt have even thought about...
and there's times that that i seriously think im going crazy. loosing it. ive stopped giving a shit about almost everything. and... i know already that i have a self destructive personality. like, its a fact of life. i know how to deal with it... mostly. its not like a big deal. sometimes i have to deal with alot of stuff at once and ill lose it and do something crazy. but i know how to keep it in check, yah? idk its just such a burden sometimes... and sometimes i want to ignore my inhibitions and do all these things that i know can fuck me over. not just *illigal* things... emotional things. academic things (well in that case not do something...). screaming at people. saying just what i feel no matter what the consequences. leave home and school and just get away.
but i know i cant. and i sometimes feel like every day i dont do these things it kills me a little, makes me a little more numb, a little crazier.
snaps for emo, no?
and ive been doing weird things. craving weird things. things that a year ago i wouldnt have even thought about...
and there's times that that i seriously think im going crazy. loosing it. ive stopped giving a shit about almost everything. and... i know already that i have a self destructive personality. like, its a fact of life. i know how to deal with it... mostly. its not like a big deal. sometimes i have to deal with alot of stuff at once and ill lose it and do something crazy. but i know how to keep it in check, yah? idk its just such a burden sometimes... and sometimes i want to ignore my inhibitions and do all these things that i know can fuck me over. not just *illigal* things... emotional things. academic things (well in that case not do something...). screaming at people. saying just what i feel no matter what the consequences. leave home and school and just get away.
but i know i cant. and i sometimes feel like every day i dont do these things it kills me a little, makes me a little more numb, a little crazier.
snaps for emo, no?