y do i feel like this?

[one_true_nigga]

u know, the last couple of dayz 4 me has been very hard, nuttin can seem to go right. ive passed up so many many good opprotunities to be happy, but my mond plays trix n me, i try so hard to be happy, but something or someone fucks it up!...jus the other day i was chattin wit my ex, and she made me feel like shit, she called me a liar...a liar.

Comments

Listen...

[hvn_snt_she_dvl]

The thing about this post is, you did lie to me. You told me that you loved me. I flew to NY from FL to see you. So obviously, you have something i wanted. yeah it was called love. but it was fake. after i left NY, you told me that you realized that you couldn't be with me (even tho i had plans to come back soon). But you didn't tell me until a month and a half after i was home. I wanna tell you something. When I was on the plane on the way home from u, I wrote you a letter on the airplane napkins b/c i had no paper. But the whol thing was about how you made me feel like i was someone to you and how you were a big part of my life. When I got home and my purse was stolen, so was the letter and the pictures that we took together, as well. I prayed to God every night that the police caught those sons of bitches for 2 reasons: the pics n tha letter. The few days I went up there were the happiest days of my entire life. I'm sorry that I obviously couldn't be what you wanted. But even tho it happened that way, you should have told me and not just pretended that everything was still fine, when in your head, you hated me. And if you felt that you couldn't be with me, than y did you sleep ova? I'm so confused about you. Sometimes I wanted to just die b/c the way that i felt when i was not with you, was not worth crying about. it hurt so much to know that the one thing i loved the most in this world was never going to have feelings for me like i did for him. But anyways, i'm glad u found sum1 else. I did 2. But shit just isn't working out. I guess I can just put it on the list of "been there , done that" 's. ya know it's weird, shit just never seems to work out. Oh by the way, i've never tried to bring you down. and i did always understand you. it's just hard to care about others when sum1 fucks you up so intentionally. So, i'm sorry this happened, and i'm out of your life now. Good luck with tha new gurl i hope you guys are able to work thru the bad times. you need sum1 who can BE BY YOUR SIDE. I love you always, you know that. There's that one huge chunk of my heart with your name all over it- not by choice anymore. Take care of yourself. I hope you get better...oh yeah speaking of getting better, i got the results back for my head.

-Amanda

Re: Listen...

[one_true_nigga]

i dont have a gurl!...wut r u talking about?

Re: Listen...

[hvn_snt_she_dvl]

wow, that whole big thing and all you could say is you don't have a chick? anyways, take care of yourself. sorry i haven't called, i know it would be weird for you. not tryin to make matters worse n shit. besides, i been busy wit my own stuff.