"I look to my eskimo friend when I'm down, down, down"
I have a new obsession with Damien Rice. I seem to just connect with the music... like he knows what kind of pain I'm going through or something. It's weird but it helps me sleep at night.
I've pretty much decided that my life is a dwindling. The more positives I look for, the less I seem to get out of it. I'm hoping that this is my lowest point.. because you can only get better once you've hit rock bottom.
Tomorrow my dad and I are going to get me new ski boots :) I'm really excited about that. We're getting my skiis sharpened and waxed, and getting new boots for christmas- fixing my bindings and everything.. should be exciting.
Christmas this year is going to suck. The annual Palia Christmas Eve party.... we might not even go to because my mom is not emotionally strong enough for that yet. This is something i've done all of my life.. ever since i was a baby.... it's going to be really weird if we dont go.... Christmas day- we're not really having a real christmas.. it's just going to be me, tj, and my mom.... no other family no nothing... i wont see my dad until 2 days after christmas.... do you know how hard that is?! and then my family christmas isn't until new years day! WHO DOES THAT?!
argh... I hope this is rock bottom because I don't know how much more I can take... my heart is taking the beating of a lifetime.
I've pretty much decided that my life is a dwindling. The more positives I look for, the less I seem to get out of it. I'm hoping that this is my lowest point.. because you can only get better once you've hit rock bottom.
Tomorrow my dad and I are going to get me new ski boots :) I'm really excited about that. We're getting my skiis sharpened and waxed, and getting new boots for christmas- fixing my bindings and everything.. should be exciting.
Christmas this year is going to suck. The annual Palia Christmas Eve party.... we might not even go to because my mom is not emotionally strong enough for that yet. This is something i've done all of my life.. ever since i was a baby.... it's going to be really weird if we dont go.... Christmas day- we're not really having a real christmas.. it's just going to be me, tj, and my mom.... no other family no nothing... i wont see my dad until 2 days after christmas.... do you know how hard that is?! and then my family christmas isn't until new years day! WHO DOES THAT?!
argh... I hope this is rock bottom because I don't know how much more I can take... my heart is taking the beating of a lifetime.