Its 7:46 in the mornin’, practically the crack of dawn and my second graders are already cuttin’ up. Actin’ a nut. Breakin’ my pencil sharpener and throwin stuff. Miss Teacher’s had enough, can’t they just sit down and shut the fuck up? I want to scream, inside I’m seething but I remember to close my eyes and focus on my breathing
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You're making a difference. I always remember what one of my professors said. I said, "Sometimes I wonder how to make a difference as a teacher." He said, "Think of you favorite teacher. Do you remember specific facts or processes he or she taught you? No, right? What do you remember? The relationship. And that's how you make a difference as a teacher. That's what makes a kid want to learn and what motivates them and what they can take with them in the future. Relationship."
I think about that a lot. Teaching does seem meaningless at times. But then again, if you can teach your elementary ones to function in a regular school, they will never end up at my school (which is the kids who have been expelled from the city schools here.) Teaching kids how to function in society MATTERS. Kids are screaming for attention and looking for limits and every time we intervene and say, "No, I won't allow you to treat each other that way" etc...we're creating a safe place and teaching standards that, in time, they can internalize.
If you want to teach, you can do it. If you get burnt out, I do know you can be successful at something else. You have heart and passion.
Good luck with your future, whichever way it goes.
And hugs, from one teacher to another. Hugs, hugs, hugs. You can make it to the end of the year. You CAN. I promise. One moment at a time.
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