Something Left To Lose
He smashed another mug. He’d pulled off his tie. Tears streamed down his face. And when Jack tried to restrain him he shrugged him off with impressive force.
Now he was yelling again.
“Ianto!” shouted Jack. “Calm down.”
“No! I won’t abide by your terms! I won’t be your pet - your prisoner.”
This time, Jack went to him again and gripped him by the upper arms.
“Listen to me,” he spat. “This is temporary. You’ve been through hell. And I need you to take some time out.”
Ianto struggled but failed to throw Jack off.
“You’re taking everything from me!” he wailed. “Everything.”
“Four weeks, Ianto!” shouted Jack again. “Four weeks. Then, if you’re feeling better, I’d gladly take you back. But for now, we all need time to recover.”
Ianto glared, murder in his eyes.
“All?” he hissed. “Oh because me losing the love of my life was so hard on everyone.”
Jack slapped Ianto’s face, surprising both of them.
“As a matter of fact, it was,” said Jack evenly, fury in his eyes. Ianto, now stunned, simply looked back at him and rubbed his cheek.
Jack spoke quietly. “You’ve broken down all trust within the team. You’ve made them doubt my integrity as their leader, because I should have seen this coming. I should have known what you were up to, should have paid attention to you. And I should have stopped you. You’ve brought danger into our safety zone. They are all shocked and horrified. And trust me, not all of them think I should be letting you back in.”
“I take it Owen would like to have me killed,” said Ianto with a sneer.
“Owen’s said nothing,” chided Jack. “But people don’t know how to move forward. So I’m removing you to give us all time to heal. Those are the terms.”
Ianto stepped away from Jack, pacing wildly. Jack felt resentment over take him.
“And don’t tell me you’re so damn disappointed not to be clearing up my shit anymore.”
“Fuck you!” yelled Ianto.
“I did wonder, you know,” said Jack, distress entering his voice. “Why you hadn’t visited me in my office for a while. Couldn’t keep it up, Ianto? Distracting the guard took its toll, did it?”
Ianto stared at Jack. His face was a picture of hurt.
“I wasn’t,” he began. “It wasn’t all about that.”
Jack laughed coldly. “Oh, so it was only a partial deception but, hallelujah, you found you actually had feelings for me?”
Ianto’s eyes brimmed with tears.
“Yes, if you must know. That’s why I stepped back from you.”
Jack said nothing. His eyes were red with tiredness.
“I don’t know how it happened,” said Ianto. “One minute I was taking care of Lisa. The next, things became more complicated. I didn’t expect you to be...”
“What?” spat Jack.
“Someone I...” Ianto took a deep breath. “Doesn’t matter.”
A silence passed between them.
“Why don’t you retcon me?” asked Ianto.
“Or shoot you?” asked Jack. “Quick fix, Ianto?”
“Why not?” cried Ianto. “Why would you keep me alive. You know I hate you!”
“There’s more to you than that,” said Jack simply. “I’ve seen what you can do. Who you were. What you are. And I think I know what you could be. And I’m not going to let you throw that away. Hate me all you want, Ianto. But you’re going to survive this and put that incredible mind to good use.”
Ianto scowled at Jack, hands on his hips.
“But not before you’ve taken a leave of absence.”
“You’re suspending me.”
“Yes I am,” said Jack. “You need some rest. We all do. But don’t think I won’t be watching you.”
The colour drained from Ianto’s face.
“Of all the arrogant, pompous, power tripping bastards...”
“Language,” scolded Jack commandingly. He took a step towards Ianto.
“Fuck off, Jack,” spat Ianto. “Don’t tell me what to do. I don’t want you to own me. I’d rather you shot me.”
Jack continued to close the gap between them. He spoke softly.
“Ianto Jones, you are hereby suspended from duty for 4 weeks effective immediately...”
“Fuck you!” shouted Ianto. Jack continued, softly.
“...and you are subject to constant review at my discretion.” Jack outstretched an arm to Ianto who was trembling with anger. “Ianto,” he said gently. “Let me help you. Trust me to help you.”
Ianto said nothing. His face crumpled as Jack’s warm hand stroked his cheek. Jack leaned in for a kiss.
Ianto responded and the kiss became passionate. They’d missed this. But then Ianto violently shoved Jack backwards.
“You bastard! You manipulative...”
“Look who’s talking!” yelled Jack.
“Well it looks like I’ve learned from the best!” Ianto yelled in reply. He watched as Jack appeared to lose the last of his patience and began to shout.
“You will do as I say and that’s that! Now GO HOME!”
“Fucking make me!” screamed Ianto. But he backed away as Jack stalked up to him and grabbed him, pinning his arms behind his back and frog marching him through the hub. “Let go of me!” cried Ianto.
“Never,” said Jack, and he pushed Ianto towards the cog door. But Ianto turned and flung himself at Jack, wrestling him to the floor and pinning him there. But once there, all they could do was stare at one another.
Jack held back. He could easily throw Ianto off. He could beat him and drive him home. But there they were. And their bodies seemed to recognise one another.
Breathing hard, many silent seconds passed. It felt good. The contact. The proximity. Even the position. Jack looked lost and frightened. And Ianto felt anger and power coursing through his veins. He breathed Jack in. And felt himself harden.
Moments later, Jack responded to Ianto’s arousal. He couldn’t help but move his hips as the blood rushed to his groin. Hardness met hardness. And then they were kissing.
Ianto kept a firm grip on Jack’s wrists, pinned to the floor. He used his body weight to keep Jack in place. And now all that mattered was taking something he needed. He deepened the kiss, his tongue delving into Jack’s mouth and eliciting pleasured moans. He ground himself against Jack and they both whimpered together.
Jack smelt so good. For once, Ianto had the upper hand. He’d lost it. He’d lost so much. He needed to feel he had control again. Strength again. He pounded against Jack as they kissed hungrily and desperately. Jack writhed beneath him, bucking upwards for more contact. They grabbed at one another violently, suddenly everything they’d known together was flowing within them and they sought release together.
There wasn’t time to remove clothing. It was just mindless rutting against one another - Ianto determined he’d take what he wanted and Jack too aroused to think or stop him. The heat of their bodies was too much to resist.
Ianto began to cry out as the sensations overwhelmed him. He was flinging himself against Jack. He released Jack’s wrists and clung onto Jack, who immediately gripped Ianto and held him tightly. They rocked hard together, needing to come so badly.
Their mouths met again - a careless but powerful kiss feeding both of them until they both pulled back for air. Jack brought his legs up around Ianto and they both cried out with pleasure. The position and pressure was perfect now. Holding on to one another tightly, almost so they could hardly breathe, they frantically rubbed their clothed erections together. Orgasmic moans signalled their tumbling over the edge. They cried out as a hot, ecstatic rush exploded between them and sent shuddering undulations throughout their bodies, wetness pooling between them.
They were coming down for some time, never letting go of one another. Eventually, Ianto rolled to one side of Jack. The cold air hit his sodden crotch and sober thoughts began to fill his mind. But it was too much. With one shuddering cry he burst into uncontrollable sobs. The only thing he knew after that, was Jack holding him for what felt like hours. Jack taking him home. Jack getting them both showered and into Ianto’s bed. And Jack holding him all night long. Ianto was convinced, from then on, that Jack was right. There is always something left to lose. And he was damned if he was going to lose it.
