Dead Bodies Everywhere!!!!!!!!
Heyy Guys. Here's a little update...
Yesterday was a pretty messed up day. From the very beginning it was bad and I could tell it was only going to get worse. First I came in late and because my dad had taken Sophie and I to the Red Sox game on Thursday, but so when I got there the women marked off my note as "unexcused" and I was like wtf? Because i think my dad had written I had a doctors appointment that morning. And I dunno....she's gay. Then when I got up to gym around second period, I was really pissed off about the note and the fact that it was another class where I couldn't participate because of my ankle. So basically the whole day went on like that.
The day went by so slowly but then in advisory after lunch, I would discover that my day was no where close to being awful. I had spoken out loud saying, "Where is everyone today? It's like everyone is absent today!" and Bethony gave me this awkward look and said, "Natalie... they're all at Cole's funeral." and my heart just stopped, I had to take a minute to catch my breath and say what?! It turns out Cole's mother died over Labor Day weekend. The thought of Cole being dead killed me but the thought that he has to face.... what happened hurt me even more. Cole is such an amazing guy and no person should ever have to face something like that, especially one so wonderful as Cole. I hate it :'( Why is life so unfair.
Throughout the rest of the day, he was all I thought about. Wondering what I should do. I mean a high school suicide at our school is one thing...but omg a parent? I talked to my mom about it and she's been trying to be there for me. But I just want to be there for Cole. It's so fucked up. Never have I hated God so fucking much. I mean I thought my life was fucked up enough as it was. And Sam and people all related it to God but you know what... never have I hated the thought of people actually believing in him. It makes me sick. >:-O
Ughh....
I can't take this anymore.
<33 Natalie Mae Beatrice
Yesterday was a pretty messed up day. From the very beginning it was bad and I could tell it was only going to get worse. First I came in late and because my dad had taken Sophie and I to the Red Sox game on Thursday, but so when I got there the women marked off my note as "unexcused" and I was like wtf? Because i think my dad had written I had a doctors appointment that morning. And I dunno....she's gay. Then when I got up to gym around second period, I was really pissed off about the note and the fact that it was another class where I couldn't participate because of my ankle. So basically the whole day went on like that.
The day went by so slowly but then in advisory after lunch, I would discover that my day was no where close to being awful. I had spoken out loud saying, "Where is everyone today? It's like everyone is absent today!" and Bethony gave me this awkward look and said, "Natalie... they're all at Cole's funeral." and my heart just stopped, I had to take a minute to catch my breath and say what?! It turns out Cole's mother died over Labor Day weekend. The thought of Cole being dead killed me but the thought that he has to face.... what happened hurt me even more. Cole is such an amazing guy and no person should ever have to face something like that, especially one so wonderful as Cole. I hate it :'( Why is life so unfair.
Throughout the rest of the day, he was all I thought about. Wondering what I should do. I mean a high school suicide at our school is one thing...but omg a parent? I talked to my mom about it and she's been trying to be there for me. But I just want to be there for Cole. It's so fucked up. Never have I hated God so fucking much. I mean I thought my life was fucked up enough as it was. And Sam and people all related it to God but you know what... never have I hated the thought of people actually believing in him. It makes me sick. >:-O
Ughh....
I can't take this anymore.
<33 Natalie Mae Beatrice