lindi ortega is my shrink. myspace is my healthcare. later Cigna.
exit stage left.
tonite was a very Franchetti Family Christmas-cocktail party.
I was only privy to this news as I turned into my drive after working all day
and feeling surprised at all of the extra trucks and cars, people in the window,
voices I couldn't distinguish...
and, again the holiday blues sank over me as I saw a room full of people who hate each other and that are only brought together by a common feeling of dysfunction.
people who come from the same awfull abusive background.
people who only connect through..... arguments.
i hate the "Franchetti" in me because when I trace the demise
of prior relationships it all leads back to that hatefull Italian streak in me.
and, on my 4th flute of Merlot... ironically in the same flutes which have a large
"F" on the front... passed down by my nuts-o great grandmother Franchetti who had
electro-shock threapy...
I wonder as I listen to this wicked depressing song that I am hooked on,(thanks maya!) :)
if it is true....
Is feeling sad/hurt/lonely/angry/bitter/ better than feeling nothing at all??
were past relationships worth it? can we change ourselves for future ones?
or, are we always haunted by our pasts that try to catch up with us when we
are running 100 miles an hour to escape them?
are we all just one big haunted house? lately I'm feeling like I can't shake my own ghosts.
are they worth the effort in the future?
tonite was a very Franchetti Family Christmas-cocktail party.
I was only privy to this news as I turned into my drive after working all day
and feeling surprised at all of the extra trucks and cars, people in the window,
voices I couldn't distinguish...
and, again the holiday blues sank over me as I saw a room full of people who hate each other and that are only brought together by a common feeling of dysfunction.
people who come from the same awfull abusive background.
people who only connect through..... arguments.
i hate the "Franchetti" in me because when I trace the demise
of prior relationships it all leads back to that hatefull Italian streak in me.
and, on my 4th flute of Merlot... ironically in the same flutes which have a large
"F" on the front... passed down by my nuts-o great grandmother Franchetti who had
electro-shock threapy...
I wonder as I listen to this wicked depressing song that I am hooked on,(thanks maya!) :)
if it is true....
Is feeling sad/hurt/lonely/angry/bitter/ better than feeling nothing at all??
were past relationships worth it? can we change ourselves for future ones?
or, are we always haunted by our pasts that try to catch up with us when we
are running 100 miles an hour to escape them?
are we all just one big haunted house? lately I'm feeling like I can't shake my own ghosts.
are they worth the effort in the future?