Clocks are jumping out at me, practically getting ran over by cars to make me notice. I don't know why, or what that means, but I noticed, so now what
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Oh Josh! I'm so sad about this. BiPolar runs in my family, and growing up, both my mother and my grandmother were out of control bi-polar. I know that feeling...like, if I'm just good enough, get good enough grades, behave well, make breakfast, don't complain, maybe she won't lock herself in her bedroom all night again, maybe she won't try to kill herself again.
And I know that desperate feeling of being completely helpless to it. I've been through anger about it, and grieving.
Luckily for me, my mother is mostly through it. She's not even medicated anymore (as far as I know). She of course knows that if she is really nasty to me on a downswing that I'll check out, because when I was in college, that was the only way to defend myself.
My grandmother is on the other side of the fence...the "there's no problem with me, it's YOUR problem" side. You know...the crazy "clit-licker" one?
You can't make someone get help before they decide they need it and are ready to do the work though. It won't do any good. I would keep gently encouraging her. She loves you tons, and I know she wants to be happy.
I'm so sad for both of you. With stuff like that, there's no one to blame even. It would make it easier if there was.
I just want her to be happy, and when she is happy, I'm happy. It's just an internal defect that it's sometimes difficult for her to be happy, and that isn't anyones fault. I'm obviously internally defective as well, so we make a good team that way.
And I know that desperate feeling of being completely helpless to it. I've been through anger about it, and grieving.
Luckily for me, my mother is mostly through it. She's not even medicated anymore (as far as I know). She of course knows that if she is really nasty to me on a downswing that I'll check out, because when I was in college, that was the only way to defend myself.
My grandmother is on the other side of the fence...the "there's no problem with me, it's YOUR problem" side. You know...the crazy "clit-licker" one?
You can't make someone get help before they decide they need it and are ready to do the work though. It won't do any good. I would keep gently encouraging her. She loves you tons, and I know she wants to be happy.
I'm so sad for both of you. With stuff like that, there's no one to blame even. It would make it easier if there was.
*hugs*
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I just want her to be happy, and when she is happy, I'm happy. It's just an internal defect that it's sometimes difficult for her to be happy, and that isn't anyones fault. I'm obviously internally defective as well, so we make a good team that way.
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