OOC: The Cat Post That Never Was
Alabama, Alaska, Arizona...California, get back here! You are not separating yourself from me! You too, Florida! Hey!
Jesus--South Dakota! Get down! You too, New Jersey, Maine and Vermont! I don't care if you--HOLY FUCKIN'--COLORADO AND NEVADA, COME BACK HERE!! For the love of...you'd think John Adams over there just scared you off! This is crazy, where in the name of the founding--BEN FRANKLIN, I KNOW YOU LIKE ELECTRICITY BUT DON'T TOUCH THE LP!
WHAT THE HELL?! YOU! YOU ARE NOW AARON BURR, LEAVE ALEXANDER HAMILTON ALONE!!
YOU TOO, JOHN BROWN, WE DON'T WANT REPEATS OF BLEEDING KANSAS, SO GET AWAY FROM THE SUNFLOWER-STATE-CAT!!
For crying out loud...when did all these cats get here? Did Greece show up or something? I mean--HEY. HEY. MASSACHUSETTS. Don't make me come over there! Crazy-ass Puritans... It's bad enough I've got Oregon trying to do who-knows-what in that corner, I don't need to worry about you!
Alright, fat cat, you can be...Taft! Yeah, Taft! God, we had to install a whole new bathtub for that guy! And you little runt...Rhode Island. Yup. Whiny and small.
LEWIS. CLARK. Here, you're gonna go hang around Sacaja-why-wa over there, okay? Okay. Go on, go explore. Take Louisiana with you, and Jefferson might wanna follow.
...shit. WHERE'S ROANOKE?! I could have sworn he was right there...RALEIGH, Sir Walter Raleigh, he might kn--no he won't. Fuck. Lost 'im again.
ALRIGHT. Checklist time, guys!
And now I can file that TextEdit document away for good! \o/