[ Zombies? Are you serious? Whose brilliant idea was that? I can barely them seriously. Gotta find a way to set them all on fire. In his 300+ years of life, Czeslaw had seen beasts both human and alchemical in origin and many other manner of strange things. Zombies were simply not efficient as say, homunculus, so he wasn't entirely familiar with them. He didn't like how they got up and kept going even as they rotted. That sort of immortality is a little too close to home. The ones he killed when they got too close? He was doing them a favor. He didn't have a single problem with that.
The first thing he did was get a sidearm off a dead cop, but the kickback made it impractical, and was really too small for his hands. He has it tucked behind him, under his cute little button-down military peacoat.
When someone calls, out runs a kid who is dressed like a tiny adult. IE, like his mother hates him and spends too much money to have his things custom fitted, and like he probably has both piano and elocution lessons
( ... )
[ That was not a girly scream of panic. That was a manly battle cry, and the leaping up in the air was, um... a defensive strategy, designed to intimidate his opponent. Yes. That's what what was.
And yes, okay, his opponent was Little Lord Fauntleroy, but hey, small children in fancy dress were scary, okay? ]
Oh. Um. Hello there, small person who is thankfully not a zombie. ...You're not, are you?
[ Great. One adult in this entire lousy town and he's a coward. I knew this trip was a bad idea.
...Time to take the reigns of this thing and make him think it was all his idea. Moron.
And it had seemed so simple. Just a little jaunt out to Chicago on the train, but it seems Czeslaw and trains just don't mix, because his broke down. He had resigned himself to take the bus instead, and that broke down.
Funny thing. A buttoned-down little boy like him was the subject of head-pats and plenty of free hot chocolate, but in a crowd of people, his neatly combed hair and finely made clothing, he was practically invisible by virtue of being below eye height and so very boring.
By himself, here, wielding a crow bar that's just too big for him, he looks out of place. Or maybe it's the addition of a few blood spatters.]
N-no, at least, I don't think so? What about you, mister? Did one of those... those things bite you?
[Czeslaw is a master of the squeaky, scared voice, of wide, white-eyes and a trembling lower lip. He backs away slightly,
( ... )
[ Oh, the poor scared little kid! Xander's so used to the kids in Sunnydale and their familiarity (if not immediate post-event amnesia) with all things supernatural. He's forgotten that there are people out there who don't regularly see vampires and slime monsters walking the streets at night. ]
Me? Nah. No nibbles here! See?
[ He holds his arms out, and then one leg. And then the other leg. And then he does the Hokey Pokey and turns himself about. ]
[The laugh that comes from Czeslaw is a genuine one, though more born from bafflement than amusement.
Is this guy for real?]
Nice dance, mister.
[The boy's gaze drifts to one of the barred doors.]
O-okay. So, what should we do? I tried to call for help, but none of the phones work. And all my bars are empty on my cellular. It's getting dark... I'm scared to go out there! But if we stay here, won't they come eat us?
[ Success! The small child no longer looks like he's about to wet himself. And Xander no longer feels the same panic. Hooray, step one complete!
Now for step two: don't die. ]
Hey, hey! Don't worry, little guy, it'll be okay.
[ Are the windows secure? They look secure, but Xander knows better than to trust appearances. He moves around the room, checking every entrance... and there's far too many of them for comfort. Windows, doors that might lead to offices and might lead outside, hallways and stairwells that lead who knows where... it's not a good place to be stuck. ]
And I'm not mister. I'm Xander, and I might not look it, but I'm pretty good at situations like this. For, you know, a definition of "pretty good" that means I haven't been eaten yet, which I personally think is a pretty good definition!
[ The undead horde outside seems to have lost interest in the wreck of Uncle Rory's car, and a few scouts are starting to bump against the front doors. If movies haven't lied to him, it won't be long before they find a way inside
( ... )
Situations like this? Have you been stuck in a zombie movie before?! [Czes allows the implied incredulity and fear raise his voice a few octaves, but in reality, he believes Xander. In spite of his goofball nature, he seems calmer than one might expect.]
But if they know we're here, they'll try to eat us all over again? How do we get them to stop? That's them at the door, isn't it? We should barricade it, or move further into the building!
[ Okay, so maybe the kid isn't quiet past the pants-wetting danger stage. ]
Hey, it's okay! You know the first step to surviving a zombie apocalypse? It's not panicking.
[ And yes, Xander is saying this to himself as much as he is to the kid. Now, let's see... back or up? Up is safer, but potentially trap-making. Back is maybe walking into a next of green grumblies, but it'll make getting to a car easier. ]
Let's just say that the town I'm from? Kinda sorta kicked puppies in a former life. Weird things happen there every single day, and most of the time I'm kinda in the middle of it. Or at least, it-adjacent. Neighbor to it. It-proximal.
[ Up, probably. They need to get eyes on the outside before stepping foot out there, and that back hallway is a little too dark and confined for his tastes. Besides, if all else fails, they can block the stairwell and be safe for however long it'll take the zombies to stack up high enough to reach the second floor... and man is that ever a nasty thought.We should be good upstairs for a bit, come
( ... )
[Ah, so that explains it. There's something different about how this guy moves, and in spite of all his flailing about (and needing to assure himself), but this also means there's more to this Xander than meets the eye.]
The mayor's office is up there... but everyone's gone. Maybe we could um, push his desk in front of the door?
[Czeslaw obediently followed behind Xander, carefully and quietly, as if trying to imitate his shadow. He held onto the man's sleeve with a few curled fingers.]
[ ...Poor kid. Xander hesitates a moment, then reaches back and takes the kid's hand. Crap, the kid can't be more than eleven and here he is, stuck in a zombie apocalypse dressed like a mini Watcher. That's just ading insult to injury. ]
That's a good idea! Boy, I'm glad I've got you along.
[ And he is, actually. Having a kid to keep an eye on is a great way to keep those stomach-twisting panickies from turning into real panics. And panics are no picnics when there's monsters outside.
There's no door at the top of the stairs - that would have been too easy - but there are chairs and a couple decorative little tables and ashtrays (ashtrays? In California? ...Where are they?) and the like. ]
Here, give me a hand. I don't think our friends downstairs will do too well with an obstacle course.
[ They won't make much of a barrier at the top of the stairs, but it'll be enough to slow the first ones down. And more importantly, it'll be enough to make a lot of noise
( ... )
I'm glad too. I couldn't move that desk all by myself, and everyone else here is scary...
[Do people even say 'boy' anymore? Yeesh.
Czeslaw does what he can to scatter things all over the place: considers smashing some of the decorative framed pictures and mirrors, but, they'll have to come back out this way. After that, Czes darts into the office to peer at the situation gathering (or, as their luck would have it, shambling) out in front.]
[ There's somebody walking around downstairs. Quietly, Xander leans over the landing, trying to see. The front doors are still holding - he's going to miss that belt - but it sounds like something...
Okay, step-shuffle-moan is a bad sound. A very bad sound. Tightening his grip on the ax, Xander follows the kid's trail down the hall and into the mayor's office.
The former mayor of Sunnydale had left as office full of weapons - knives, guns, grenades, magic items, you name it. For the first (and probably only) time ever, Xander wished that this mayor had been a little more like Mr Snake.
But then again, with the horde outside? Maybe he had been. ]
There's nothing to worry about.
[ Closing the door behind him, Xander laid his ax on the big mahogany desk and pushed with all his might. ]
It'll be fine. No problem. Everything's under control. We in no danger from the zombies wandering around downstairs. Everything's fine.
[And Czes had thought being stuck in that village with that smile junkie Elmer was the worst. At least those villagers just acted like zombies. He'd been able to get out of that situation by scaring them with the whole flaming demon impersonation, but-- well, there's always that option, actually.
This iss going to be such a pain in the ass. And now this Xander guy has taken him under his wing, but he doesn't even seem to have that much brute strength, yet Czes is kinda-sorta obligated to make sure he got out of here too.
So long as it isn't too much trouble, at least. Hey, maybe the guy will surprise him. Sometimes kids still do that.]
It's okay, huh? I guess we should just have a night picnic and do the hokey-pokey, then!
[The mayor had a few rifles on display (it was, after all, kind of a hick town) with taxedermied deer heads, but even on the off chance any of them had a round left in, they were too high to be useful to Czes. He was far more interested in the fact this guy (or gal, this is the 21st century after all!) was a
( ... )
[ Well, one the plus side, the kid was officially past the scared-and-urinating stage. But on the other hand, hooray for sarcasm, friend to all. ]
It's not... the usual way of... killing the undead...
[ Crikey the desk way heavy! And... did he just think "crikey"? Blame it on the kid's retro duds. ]
But I wouldn't... say no... to a couple... pee-bee-and-jays there!
[ One very barricaded door. They ain't going out that way. Unless they smash through the top half of the door where it's all exposed and unprotected and crap! That was half a good plan. Maybe they can find nails and take apart the shelves and...?
But then the kid talks - talks and starts making molotov cocktails - and Xander gets a little distracted from the door. ]
Incanwhatsits?
[ Ah, yes. He remembers this feeling. This is the feeling you get when you're chasing a Hakkan demon and just when you think you've got the spiky little sucker cornered, you realize that it's led you back to the next of vampires who were keeping it as a pet
( ... )
Gold stars? Not exactly. I'm home schooled. ['The old school' might be more fitting a term for it.]
I'm a big reader.
An incantation. Don't you know what an incantation is? Like Harry Potter stuff. Spells, y'know? If we know what changed these people maybe we could undo it.
If there's something waking these people up, well, maybe we can shut it down.
That's all I was thinking.
[Golf clubs! Man, this mayor was a despot. Is that her shambling around in front in the chewed-up pantsuit? Czes sort of hopes so. That'd be hilarious.
Czes picks up a 9 iron, swinging it around. Nope, not better than the baseball bat, but he's holding it when he notices Xander inching for the axe.
[ The ax is comforting to hold. Even if there's nothing actually weird about the kid (other than the obvious usual), having a solid weapon with a sharp smashy cutty part is really comforting in the middle of a crisis. Buff's got Mr Pointy, Will's got that spell that looks a little like Jubilee's fireworks, and he's got a fireax. Not a bad choice, really. ]
You, knowing stuff about zombies and spells. And how you just so happened to be in here when I showed up, all not bitten... and talking like a very old person, by the way. The whole 'Mister Xander' thing? Totally suspicious.
[ So Xander will stay on this side of the room, and the kid - who never gave out his name, oddly enough - can stay on that side. Yes? Good. ]
And instead of crying for your mom, you're making bombs. Which I appreciate! But still with the suspicious.
[ Downstairs, something very big shatters. That's not good. They either need to get significantly higher, or into a car, and soon. ]
The first thing he did was get a sidearm off a dead cop, but the kickback made it impractical, and was really too small for his hands. He has it tucked behind him, under his cute little button-down military peacoat.
When someone calls, out runs a kid who is dressed like a tiny adult. IE, like his mother hates him and spends too much money to have his things custom fitted, and like he probably has both piano and elocution lessons ( ... )
Reply
[ That was not a girly scream of panic. That was a manly battle cry, and the leaping up in the air was, um... a defensive strategy, designed to intimidate his opponent. Yes. That's what what was.
And yes, okay, his opponent was Little Lord Fauntleroy, but hey, small children in fancy dress were scary, okay? ]
Oh. Um. Hello there, small person who is thankfully not a zombie. ...You're not, are you?
Reply
...Time to take the reigns of this thing and make him think it was all his idea. Moron.
And it had seemed so simple. Just a little jaunt out to Chicago on the train, but it seems Czeslaw and trains just don't mix, because his broke down. He had resigned himself to take the bus instead, and that broke down.
Funny thing. A buttoned-down little boy like him was the subject of head-pats and plenty of free hot chocolate, but in a crowd of people, his neatly combed hair and finely made clothing, he was practically invisible by virtue of being below eye height and so very boring.
By himself, here, wielding a crow bar that's just too big for him, he looks out of place. Or maybe it's the addition of a few blood spatters.]
N-no, at least, I don't think so? What about you, mister? Did one of those... those things bite you?
[Czeslaw is a master of the squeaky, scared voice, of wide, white-eyes and a trembling lower lip. He backs away slightly, ( ... )
Reply
Me? Nah. No nibbles here! See?
[ He holds his arms out, and then one leg. And then the other leg. And then he does the Hokey Pokey and turns himself about. ]
And that's what it's all about!
Reply
Is this guy for real?]
Nice dance, mister.
[The boy's gaze drifts to one of the barred doors.]
O-okay. So, what should we do? I tried to call for help, but none of the phones work. And all my bars are empty on my cellular. It's getting dark... I'm scared to go out there! But if we stay here, won't they come eat us?
Reply
Now for step two: don't die. ]
Hey, hey! Don't worry, little guy, it'll be okay.
[ Are the windows secure? They look secure, but Xander knows better than to trust appearances. He moves around the room, checking every entrance... and there's far too many of them for comfort. Windows, doors that might lead to offices and might lead outside, hallways and stairwells that lead who knows where... it's not a good place to be stuck. ]
And I'm not mister. I'm Xander, and I might not look it, but I'm pretty good at situations like this. For, you know, a definition of "pretty good" that means I haven't been eaten yet, which I personally think is a pretty good definition!
[ The undead horde outside seems to have lost interest in the wreck of Uncle Rory's car, and a few scouts are starting to bump against the front doors. If movies haven't lied to him, it won't be long before they find a way inside ( ... )
Reply
But if they know we're here, they'll try to eat us all over again? How do we get them to stop? That's them at the door, isn't it? We should barricade it, or move further into the building!
Reply
Hey, it's okay! You know the first step to surviving a zombie apocalypse? It's not panicking.
[ And yes, Xander is saying this to himself as much as he is to the kid. Now, let's see... back or up? Up is safer, but potentially trap-making. Back is maybe walking into a next of green grumblies, but it'll make getting to a car easier. ]
Let's just say that the town I'm from? Kinda sorta kicked puppies in a former life. Weird things happen there every single day, and most of the time I'm kinda in the middle of it. Or at least, it-adjacent. Neighbor to it. It-proximal.
[ Up, probably. They need to get eyes on the outside before stepping foot out there, and that back hallway is a little too dark and confined for his tastes. Besides, if all else fails, they can block the stairwell and be safe for however long it'll take the zombies to stack up high enough to reach the second floor... and man is that ever a nasty thought.We should be good upstairs for a bit, come ( ... )
Reply
The mayor's office is up there... but everyone's gone. Maybe we could um, push his desk in front of the door?
[Czeslaw obediently followed behind Xander, carefully and quietly, as if trying to imitate his shadow. He held onto the man's sleeve with a few curled fingers.]
Reply
That's a good idea! Boy, I'm glad I've got you along.
[ And he is, actually. Having a kid to keep an eye on is a great way to keep those stomach-twisting panickies from turning into real panics. And panics are no picnics when there's monsters outside.
There's no door at the top of the stairs - that would have been too easy - but there are chairs and a couple decorative little tables and ashtrays (ashtrays? In California? ...Where are they?) and the like. ]
Here, give me a hand. I don't think our friends downstairs will do too well with an obstacle course.
[ They won't make much of a barrier at the top of the stairs, but it'll be enough to slow the first ones down. And more importantly, it'll be enough to make a lot of noise ( ... )
Reply
[Do people even say 'boy' anymore? Yeesh.
Czeslaw does what he can to scatter things all over the place: considers smashing some of the decorative framed pictures and mirrors, but, they'll have to come back out this way. After that, Czes darts into the office to peer at the situation gathering (or, as their luck would have it, shambling) out in front.]
Oh no...
Reply
Okay, step-shuffle-moan is a bad sound. A very bad sound. Tightening his grip on the ax, Xander follows the kid's trail down the hall and into the mayor's office.
The former mayor of Sunnydale had left as office full of weapons - knives, guns, grenades, magic items, you name it. For the first (and probably only) time ever, Xander wished that this mayor had been a little more like Mr Snake.
But then again, with the horde outside? Maybe he had been. ]
There's nothing to worry about.
[ Closing the door behind him, Xander laid his ax on the big mahogany desk and pushed with all his might. ]
It'll be fine. No problem. Everything's under control. We in no danger from the zombies wandering around downstairs. Everything's fine.
Reply
This iss going to be such a pain in the ass. And now this Xander guy has taken him under his wing, but he doesn't even seem to have that much brute strength, yet Czes is kinda-sorta obligated to make sure he got out of here too.
So long as it isn't too much trouble, at least. Hey, maybe the guy will surprise him. Sometimes kids still do that.]
It's okay, huh? I guess we should just have a night picnic and do the hokey-pokey, then!
[The mayor had a few rifles on display (it was, after all, kind of a hick town) with taxedermied deer heads, but even on the off chance any of them had a round left in, they were too high to be useful to Czes. He was far more interested in the fact this guy (or gal, this is the 21st century after all!) was a ( ... )
Reply
It's not... the usual way of... killing the undead...
[ Crikey the desk way heavy! And... did he just think "crikey"? Blame it on the kid's retro duds. ]
But I wouldn't... say no... to a couple... pee-bee-and-jays there!
[ One very barricaded door. They ain't going out that way. Unless they smash through the top half of the door where it's all exposed and unprotected and crap! That was half a good plan. Maybe they can find nails and take apart the shelves and...?
But then the kid talks - talks and starts making molotov cocktails - and Xander gets a little distracted from the door. ]
Incanwhatsits?
[ Ah, yes. He remembers this feeling. This is the feeling you get when you're chasing a Hakkan demon and just when you think you've got the spiky little sucker cornered, you realize that it's led you back to the next of vampires who were keeping it as a pet ( ... )
Reply
I'm a big reader.
An incantation. Don't you know what an incantation is? Like Harry Potter stuff. Spells, y'know? If we know what changed these people maybe we could undo it.
If there's something waking these people up, well, maybe we can shut it down.
That's all I was thinking.
[Golf clubs! Man, this mayor was a despot. Is that her shambling around in front in the chewed-up pantsuit? Czes sort of hopes so. That'd be hilarious.
Czes picks up a 9 iron, swinging it around. Nope, not better than the baseball bat, but he's holding it when he notices Xander inching for the axe.
Oh, please.]
-W.... did I say something, Mister Xander?
Reply
[ The ax is comforting to hold. Even if there's nothing actually weird about the kid (other than the obvious usual), having a solid weapon with a sharp smashy cutty part is really comforting in the middle of a crisis. Buff's got Mr Pointy, Will's got that spell that looks a little like Jubilee's fireworks, and he's got a fireax. Not a bad choice, really. ]
You, knowing stuff about zombies and spells. And how you just so happened to be in here when I showed up, all not bitten... and talking like a very old person, by the way. The whole 'Mister Xander' thing? Totally suspicious.
[ So Xander will stay on this side of the room, and the kid - who never gave out his name, oddly enough - can stay on that side. Yes? Good. ]
And instead of crying for your mom, you're making bombs. Which I appreciate! But still with the suspicious.
[ Downstairs, something very big shatters. That's not good. They either need to get significantly higher, or into a car, and soon. ]
Reply
Leave a comment