"Thats whats going on, nothings right, I'm torn"
The last few days have been really rough for me. I've been so overwhelmed with anxiety and despair. Chris and I have hardly talked, and when we do it's just been a couple really bad arguments. He's the one that keeps bringing up, "Well if that's the case, you might as well file for divorce". Great. So that's where I'm at at this point, having to truly and completely consider letting go. I thought I could handle things, because it's been gradually been getting worse for us. The entirety of it though... Giving up the life I've built the last 4 years. Friends and family. Getting divorced means losing so much more than my relationship with Chris. And I'm so fucking angry with him because it is his fault. I'm really trying to not feel guilty. Or that I'm just not enough. How can he love me and let this continuously happen? I just crawl inside myself and disappear for a few hours... But I've been making myself get out, walk, eat, breathe. I'm putting everything I have into my music. <3 :( /sigh It just hurts really fucking bad. I've cried so goddamn much and I still constantly feel like crying. AND it's been giving me an upset stomach because of the stress. Meh.
So yeah, that's all for now. I just wanted to get at least that much out. <3<3
"I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel
I'm cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed into something real
I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
You're a little late, I'm already torn"
So yeah, that's all for now. I just wanted to get at least that much out. <3<3
"I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel
I'm cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed into something real
I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
You're a little late, I'm already torn"