Socially retarded me!
Yeah, hello...
I was looking at myspace today. Yes, myspace. Shoot me now.
And I have decided that I am like... the most socially retarded being of the century. Everyone has a myspace. EVERYONE!
.... except for me.
Well, I have one, I guess, I just never use it, because the inbox is filled up with all the crap Brittany sent me over the summer holidays last year, and y'know when you've had bad memories somewhere, you generally don't want to go back...
And there's the whole, I totally don't have enough friends. I mean, everyone's like... wooh! 5 hundred billion friends! And I'm like... wooh! TEN! xD
That's more than I have here, anyway. -emo tear-
But that's alright, because this is more of a journal, less of a 'I'm going to sit around and comment on this person's picture for an hour or two'. =/
That brings me to my 2nd point - what the hell do you DO on myspace!?
I mean... sure, comment people. But then.... that's like... it. Maybe I'm missing something...
But anyway.
Woo!
I think I'm fine with being socially retarded. I don't need 5 billion friends. The ones I have are cool enough. <3
I'd prefer to spend my time on the internet mindlessly reading fanfiction anyway. Hoorah!
Fanfiction makes me smile.
I was really proud of myself the other day - I actually started reading a 60-chapter fic (I'm up to chapter 33 atm). ME! With the massively short attention span! But, it's really cool, so that's alright.
And it's not quite as scary as bridlewood manor. THAT was a crazy-long fanfic. I still haven't finished it...
It's got 97 chapters
-gags-
So, at the moment, I'm on holidays. That means NO SCHOOL UNTIL YEAR 10! HOORAH! So, at the moment I am sitting around doing nothing. At all. And when I say nothing, I totally mean it.
I mean... why else would I start a 60-chapter fanfic? o.O
Everyone's leaving on the music tour tomorrow, and so I'm gonna be even -more- bored, once I have no one to call up and whine to about how bored I am.
AND IT'S ONLY BEEN A WEEK OF HOLIDAYS!
-implodes-
And I like I've broken my brain, too.
I was reading through all my old entries, (of which I've got like... 4 xD) and they're all really intelligent-sounding, like "identical twins develop different personalities to each other in order to combat the awkwardness of having someone exactly the same as them," and at the moment I'm 'WOO! TEN FRIENDS!'
I'm really worried about the broken-brain thing, actually.
Because, y'know, in year 7 +8, I was super nerd of the century. I did all of my homework before it was due, spazzed out if I got an A instead of an A+, that kind of crap. And then I got to year nine, and suddenly I'm dumb as a llama.
I'm sorry, I've always wanted to say that xD
Anyway, so in year 9 I totally haven't done any of my homework, I don't pay attention during class, and I stay up until like 3am watching random dramas. So I'm really paranoid that I'm gonna keep snowballing backwards, and become a crap student for the year 12 exams. My brother doesn't really help with that. He's my parent's wonder-child, he got the perfect mark for his accounting exams. PERFECT MARK!
So now my parents are like 'Why can't you do that!?!?!?!'
And I'm like 'aaah!'
I don't even know what I want to be when I grow up. James' got it all sorted out - maths all the way, accountant or something equally nerdy. But me?
My only passion is languages, and as my mum pointed out, that's all well and good for when you want to move to a different country, but when you get there, what are you going to do? Just sitting around and talking in that language all day isn't the most productive of things...
So, what to do?
And I totally suck at german anyway. I really like it, but I'm so shit. I don't know any of my vocab or anything... =/
I wish I was better friends with Zep again...
Sorry about the random jumping between subjects, I'm just typing what I feel like saying.
Anyway, because when I was friends with Zep, we could totally talk on forums and crap for hours, and I'm sure if I was still friends with her, she would probably be able to coax me out of my irrational fear of myspace/facebook/crap. But, sadly, that is not the case, because I'm not cool enough for her anymore =(
I'm sure that's not the reason, but I can't think of any other one, so I'm going to leave it at that.
Back story - I used to be besties (and when I say besties, I really mean it. As in.. 3 hour phone conversations, and almost-every-weekend shopping trips) with this girl. We had this enormous friendship group, and we were all super happy. But then, some shit happened, and myself and another member of our group had a huge falling-out, and another girl left the school. Then, we broke up for summer holidays, and I thought everything was all ok, and we'd just go back to how we were, except without those two. Except Zep decided that she didn't really want to hang with us anymore, and she moved on to sit with some other people, and Kat followed. And then, gradually, everyone just left, until we were left with this pathetic excuse for a friendship group, sitting alone at lunchtimes. Sure, I hate us sometimes too, and I wish I could move for a seperate group, but I'm not that cold hearted. I couldn't just leave my friends, after everything that we've been through, for new people because I was sick of them.
And it's not just that. She just... left. She didn't tell us. We couldn't try to fix whatever it was that we'd done wrong, because she wouldn't speak to us. She just.. upped and left. And then, because she was stuck in a class with some of the members of our group, she had the gall to pretend that nothing was wrong, and she still wouldn't talk to anyone about that fact that she's completely ditched our friendship group. Then, a couple of months ago, my friend and I finally managed to coax something out of her, but after ages of trying, all we got was 'I'm afraid of confrontation.'
Not a reason why she left, no promises of stying friends, just an excuse as to why she never told us anything.
And then she had the GALL to try and tell us that she still wants to be able to lean on us, and rely on us, and have us care about her as if she was still close with us. I mean, doesn't the saying go that you only get in what you put out!?
How is that fair to us? At all..
I don't know. I feel betrayed, but it's not like I can just yell at her, because then I'll get labeled as the bitch because I had no respect for her fear of confrontation. And, right now, I don't think I could stand to lose another friend. I'm such a friend anti-magnet, I swear. It's like a trend at our school, to ditch me.
I mean, one of my 'friends' is only talking to me because she wants to date my brother, and you can't date the brother of a not-friend, but you can kind of get away with dating the brother of a friend. Hence why she's doing all she can to keep our friendship working.
So, y'know, I don't like her.
Then there's Zep. You know my feelings on her.
And, if you're a loyal journal-reader, you would've already read about my issues with Brittany..
So, y'know. I'm gonna end up with no friends at all, I swear.
AAH! I'm so... AAAAAAAHHHH!
That is all.
G'night, and thanks for reading.
You're a great friend
=)
I was looking at myspace today. Yes, myspace. Shoot me now.
And I have decided that I am like... the most socially retarded being of the century. Everyone has a myspace. EVERYONE!
.... except for me.
Well, I have one, I guess, I just never use it, because the inbox is filled up with all the crap Brittany sent me over the summer holidays last year, and y'know when you've had bad memories somewhere, you generally don't want to go back...
And there's the whole, I totally don't have enough friends. I mean, everyone's like... wooh! 5 hundred billion friends! And I'm like... wooh! TEN! xD
That's more than I have here, anyway. -emo tear-
But that's alright, because this is more of a journal, less of a 'I'm going to sit around and comment on this person's picture for an hour or two'. =/
That brings me to my 2nd point - what the hell do you DO on myspace!?
I mean... sure, comment people. But then.... that's like... it. Maybe I'm missing something...
But anyway.
Woo!
I think I'm fine with being socially retarded. I don't need 5 billion friends. The ones I have are cool enough. <3
I'd prefer to spend my time on the internet mindlessly reading fanfiction anyway. Hoorah!
Fanfiction makes me smile.
I was really proud of myself the other day - I actually started reading a 60-chapter fic (I'm up to chapter 33 atm). ME! With the massively short attention span! But, it's really cool, so that's alright.
And it's not quite as scary as bridlewood manor. THAT was a crazy-long fanfic. I still haven't finished it...
It's got 97 chapters
-gags-
So, at the moment, I'm on holidays. That means NO SCHOOL UNTIL YEAR 10! HOORAH! So, at the moment I am sitting around doing nothing. At all. And when I say nothing, I totally mean it.
I mean... why else would I start a 60-chapter fanfic? o.O
Everyone's leaving on the music tour tomorrow, and so I'm gonna be even -more- bored, once I have no one to call up and whine to about how bored I am.
AND IT'S ONLY BEEN A WEEK OF HOLIDAYS!
-implodes-
And I like I've broken my brain, too.
I was reading through all my old entries, (of which I've got like... 4 xD) and they're all really intelligent-sounding, like "identical twins develop different personalities to each other in order to combat the awkwardness of having someone exactly the same as them," and at the moment I'm 'WOO! TEN FRIENDS!'
I'm really worried about the broken-brain thing, actually.
Because, y'know, in year 7 +8, I was super nerd of the century. I did all of my homework before it was due, spazzed out if I got an A instead of an A+, that kind of crap. And then I got to year nine, and suddenly I'm dumb as a llama.
I'm sorry, I've always wanted to say that xD
Anyway, so in year 9 I totally haven't done any of my homework, I don't pay attention during class, and I stay up until like 3am watching random dramas. So I'm really paranoid that I'm gonna keep snowballing backwards, and become a crap student for the year 12 exams. My brother doesn't really help with that. He's my parent's wonder-child, he got the perfect mark for his accounting exams. PERFECT MARK!
So now my parents are like 'Why can't you do that!?!?!?!'
And I'm like 'aaah!'
I don't even know what I want to be when I grow up. James' got it all sorted out - maths all the way, accountant or something equally nerdy. But me?
My only passion is languages, and as my mum pointed out, that's all well and good for when you want to move to a different country, but when you get there, what are you going to do? Just sitting around and talking in that language all day isn't the most productive of things...
So, what to do?
And I totally suck at german anyway. I really like it, but I'm so shit. I don't know any of my vocab or anything... =/
I wish I was better friends with Zep again...
Sorry about the random jumping between subjects, I'm just typing what I feel like saying.
Anyway, because when I was friends with Zep, we could totally talk on forums and crap for hours, and I'm sure if I was still friends with her, she would probably be able to coax me out of my irrational fear of myspace/facebook/crap. But, sadly, that is not the case, because I'm not cool enough for her anymore =(
I'm sure that's not the reason, but I can't think of any other one, so I'm going to leave it at that.
Back story - I used to be besties (and when I say besties, I really mean it. As in.. 3 hour phone conversations, and almost-every-weekend shopping trips) with this girl. We had this enormous friendship group, and we were all super happy. But then, some shit happened, and myself and another member of our group had a huge falling-out, and another girl left the school. Then, we broke up for summer holidays, and I thought everything was all ok, and we'd just go back to how we were, except without those two. Except Zep decided that she didn't really want to hang with us anymore, and she moved on to sit with some other people, and Kat followed. And then, gradually, everyone just left, until we were left with this pathetic excuse for a friendship group, sitting alone at lunchtimes. Sure, I hate us sometimes too, and I wish I could move for a seperate group, but I'm not that cold hearted. I couldn't just leave my friends, after everything that we've been through, for new people because I was sick of them.
And it's not just that. She just... left. She didn't tell us. We couldn't try to fix whatever it was that we'd done wrong, because she wouldn't speak to us. She just.. upped and left. And then, because she was stuck in a class with some of the members of our group, she had the gall to pretend that nothing was wrong, and she still wouldn't talk to anyone about that fact that she's completely ditched our friendship group. Then, a couple of months ago, my friend and I finally managed to coax something out of her, but after ages of trying, all we got was 'I'm afraid of confrontation.'
Not a reason why she left, no promises of stying friends, just an excuse as to why she never told us anything.
And then she had the GALL to try and tell us that she still wants to be able to lean on us, and rely on us, and have us care about her as if she was still close with us. I mean, doesn't the saying go that you only get in what you put out!?
How is that fair to us? At all..
I don't know. I feel betrayed, but it's not like I can just yell at her, because then I'll get labeled as the bitch because I had no respect for her fear of confrontation. And, right now, I don't think I could stand to lose another friend. I'm such a friend anti-magnet, I swear. It's like a trend at our school, to ditch me.
I mean, one of my 'friends' is only talking to me because she wants to date my brother, and you can't date the brother of a not-friend, but you can kind of get away with dating the brother of a friend. Hence why she's doing all she can to keep our friendship working.
So, y'know, I don't like her.
Then there's Zep. You know my feelings on her.
And, if you're a loyal journal-reader, you would've already read about my issues with Brittany..
So, y'know. I'm gonna end up with no friends at all, I swear.
AAH! I'm so... AAAAAAAHHHH!
That is all.
G'night, and thanks for reading.
You're a great friend
=)