Chapter Fourteen
CHAPTER IT IS NOT REALLY CHEATING IF I MAKE THE CHAPTER NAME REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY LONG, RIGHT? NOT WITH SO LITTLE TIME TO GO BEFORE DECEMBER. SPEAKING OF WHICH, HOW QUICKLY DID THIS YEAR WANT TO GO? PRETTY DARN QUICK, IF I DO SAY SO MYSELF!!! EXCEPT FOR HISTORY CLASSES. THEY JUST WENT ON AND ON AND ON AND ON AND ON. OH, HEY, 11:11, MAKE A WISH. DID YOU DO IT? I BET THAT YOU DID NOT, BECAUSE CHANCES ARE, IT IS NOT 11:11 WHEN YOU ARE READING THIS. AND NOW IT IS 11:12, ANYWAY. OH, RIGHT, YOU ARE HERE FOR THE STORY. NOT THE CHAPTER NAMES. HUH. CRAZY! SO ANYWAY, ON WITH THE STORY: IN WHICH THERE WILL PROBABLY BE LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS OF WORD PADDING. YES.
So after India, and Lucy the Literate, and Andrew the Apple Eater, and Eleanor the Electric ate their delicious lasagne, they sat down to admire their work from afar. By which I mean, they kind of spied a little on Scott the evil robot and Sian the half human, half robot. Just a little.
Sian the half human, half robot and Scott the evil robot sat together, chatting away, in binary.
“Zero, zero, zero, one. One, one, one, one, zero, one, zero, one, one, one,” Sian the half human, half robot would say.
“One, one, one, zero, one, one, zero, zero, one,” Scott the evil robot would reply.
“One, one, one, one, one, one, one, zero, zero, zero, zero, one,” Sian the half human, half robot would laugh.
“Zero, zero, zero, one, zero, one, zero, one, zero, zero, zero, zero, zero, one,” Scott the evil robot would quip, and it would go on like that for some while. Quite romantic, I think you would agree.
No, I am not going to translate their conversation into English. Give the ‘bots some privacy! And, no, it is not just because I am not able to think of what two robots (well, one robot and one half human, half robot, but, eh, who is going to notice if I just call them two robots?) would talk about on their first date (well, first date in the light-emitting diode eyes of Scott the evil robot. Sian the half human, half robot could remember plenty of dates that the two had been on together).
(Off topic; did you ever wonder how Sian the half human, half robot would actually become a half human, half robot? It is quite the odd situation, I think you will agree. I am not even sure how that would work. I am not even sure I would want to know how that would work. I think that it might just be best to not think about it, like I have been doing all this time. Yes.)
So anyway, Sian the half human, half robot and Scott the evil robot were quickly falling in love. Or quickly falling back in love, as the case may be. Depends if you are asking Sian the half human, half robot, or Scott the evil robot. But please do not ask either of them at this present moment, because then you would be interrupting their date, and then the collapse of the world as we know it may be on your shoulders. For you see, every moment that Scott the evil robot spent happily with Sian the half human, half robot, was another moment that he was not seizing World Domination by coming the All Powerful Overlord of the Planet Earth, and Any Other Planets of Which he May Come to Take Power.
So naturally, everything was going pretty swell. Pretty swell indeed. Swimmingly, in fact! Everything was going swimmingly.
The NEW AND IMPROVED PENTAGON OF POWER, MUHAHAHA!!! spent their days eating port wine jelly with ice cream (holding the punch in the belly, of course), less Sian, who spent her days with Scott the evil robot, who was not seizing Domination of the World, and not becoming So after India, and Lucy the Literate, and Andrew the Apple Eater, and Eleanor the Electric ate their delicious lasagne, they sat down to admire their work from afar. By which I mean, they kind of spied a little on Scott the evil robot and Sian the half human, half robot.
Sian the half human, half robot and Scott the evil robot sat together, chatting away, in binary.
“Zero, zero, zero, one. One, one, one, one, zero, one, zero, one, one, one,” Sian the half human, half robot would say.
“One, one, one, zero, one, one, zero, zero, one,” Scott the evil robot would reply.
“One, one, one, one, one, one, one, zero, zero, zero, zero, one,” Sian the half human, half robot would laugh.
“Zero, zero, zero, one, zero, one, zero, one, zero, zero, zero, zero, zero, one,” Scott the evil robot would quip, and it would go on like that for some while. Quite romantic, I think you would agree.
No, I am not going to translate their conversation into English. Give the ‘bots some privacy! And, no, it is not just because I am not able to think of what two robots (well, one robot and one half human, half robot, but, eh, who is going to notice if I just call them two robots?) would talk about on their first date (well, first date in the light-emitting diode eyes of Scott the evil robot. Sian the half human, half robot could remember plenty of dates that the two had been on together).
(Off topic; did you ever wonder how Sian the half human, half robot would actually become a half human, half robot? It is quite the odd situation, I think you will agree. I am not even sure how that would work. I am not even sure I would want to know how that would work. I think that it might just be best to not think about it, like I have been doing all this time. Yes.)
So anyway, Sian the half human, half robot and Scott the evil robot were quickly falling in love. Or quickly falling back in love, as the case may be. Depends if you are asking Sian the half human, half robot, or Scott the evil robot. But please do not ask either of them at this present moment, because then you would be interrupting their date, and then the collapse of the world as we know it may be on your shoulders. For you see, every moment that Scott the evil robot spent happily with Sian the half human, half robot, was another moment that he was not seizing World Domination by coming the All Powerful Overlord of the Planet Earth, and Any Other Planets of Which he May Come to Take Power. Everything was swell.
Everything was swell, that is, until Scott the evil robot and Sian the half human, half robot decided they wanted to get married. Now, clearly, that was not the issue. True love, and all that jazz. Sian the half human, half robot were destined to a life of nothing less than complete romantic bliss. That was, until, the robot mothers arrived on the scene.
All mothers, I think you will agree, are protective of their children. Some more so than others. In fact, some of the most over protective mothers in the world just happen to be robot mothers. They are just programmed that way. And although the mothers of both Scott the evil robot and Sian the half human, half robot wanted their respective children to be as happy as humanly possible - as robotly possible? - in the known universe, neither of the two robot mothers thought that the other’s child was good enough for their own ickle tinkertins. And so when the time came for the two robotic women to meet, it only resulted in awkwardness in everyone else who happened to be present at the time. That is, the NEW AND IMPROVED PENTAGON OF POWER, MUHAHAHA!!!
“So this is the little tin man,” said Sian the half human, half robot’s fully robotic mother, looking at Scott the evil robot. Sian the half human, half robot’s fully robotic mother’s name was Kaylee. And she, like all the other fully robotic characters that we have met, she only spoke in binary. So she said it more like, “One, zero, zero, one. One, one, one, one, zero, zero, zero. One, one, one, one, one, one, one, zero, zero, zero. One. One, one, zero.”
“He is NOT made of tin,” said the mother of Scott the evil robot, who was named Holly, and a little touchy on the subject. “He is made of cardboard. And very fine cardboard, too. Silver!” And Holly the robot mother of Scott the evil robot was no exception to the binary speaking robot rule, so she said it more like, “One, one, one, zero, one, one, zero, one. One, zero, zero, zero, zero, zero, zero, one. One, zero. Zero. Zero, one, one.”
“Pah!” Cried Kaylee, the mother of Sian the half human, half robot. “Cardboard? My robotskinsky deserves more than cardboard! How is a cardboard meant to provide for my little Sian the half human, half robot?” But, of course, in binary. “One, one, one, zero, one, zero, zero, one. One, one, zero, one, zero, one, one, zero, one.”
Actually, I think there was another robot at one point, and he spoke in beeps? Is that right? I am not able to remember where, or when, or what its purpose was. Or if it even existed. Confirmation, anyone? Anyone?
“So now my little Scott the evil robot is meant to PROVIDE for your daughter?” Holly, Scott the evil robot’s mother, said. “He has enough on his plate, trying to become the All Powerful Overlord of the Planet Earth, and Any Other Planets of Which he May Come to Take Power! And you expect your little whatever she is to live off of him? How is he meant to do that while achieving World Domination? And even though he is already too good for that pile of bones and scrap metal, by the time that he is All Powerful Overlord of the Planet Earth, and Any Other Planets of Which he May Come to Take Power, my little Scotty - Robottikins will be way out of her league!” And in binary; “One, one, one, zero, zero, zero, one. One, zero, one, zero, zero, zero, one. One, one, one, one, one zero. Zero, one, zero, zero, one, one. Zero, zero, zero, zero. One, one, zero, one, one. One, one, one, zero. One, one, one, zero, one. One, one. One, zero. One. Zero. One.”
“Like I want my Sian-y waan-y the half human, half robot to marry an All Powerful Overlord of the Planet Earth, and Any Other Planets of Which he May Come to Take Power, anyway! What would the neighbours say!?” Kaylee, Sian’s fully robotic mother said, and then imitated the potential neighbours, who strangely enough had croaky, but high pitched voices. “’Oh, there goes Mrs. All Powerful Overlord of the Planet Earth, and Any Other Planets of Which he May Come to Take Power… Oh my, look at the state of her garden. That is what happens when you marry the All Powerful Overlord of the Planet Earth, and Any Other Planets of Which he May Come to Take Power.’” And for those playing along in binary, “One, one, one, one, one, zero, zero, one. One, one, one, zero, one, zero, one, one, zero, zero, one. One, one, one, one, zero, zero, one, one, zero, one. Zero, zero, zero, one, zero. One, zero, one, zero, one, zero, one, one. One, zero, zero, zero, zero, zero, one. One, one, zero, one. Zero, zero, one. Zero, one, zero. One. Zero. Zero, one.”
The NEW AND IMPROVED PENTAGON OF POWER, MUHAHAHA!!! and Scott the evil robot slowly slinked - slinked? Slunk? They did slink? They left, okay? They left. Good. - away, leaving the robotic mothers to battle it out. The difference between robotic mothers and human mothers is that robotic mothers do not grow tired of their argument. So Kaylee, the fully robotic mother of Sian the half human, half robot, and Holly, the mother of Scott the evil robot continued to argue for many days and many nights. Meanwhile, the NEW AND IMPROVED PENTAGON OF POWER, MUHAHAHA!!! and Scott the evil robot - who, despite his inherent evilness, it turned out they got along quite well with. I think that sentence makes grammatical sense… Hmm… the NEW AND IMPROVED PENTAGON OF POWER, MUHAHAHA!!! got along quite well with Scott the evil robot, despite his inherent evilness. That works. - enjoyed sandwiches and cups of lemon iced tea (yeah, I am listening to Ben Abraham, so what? Do you want to make something of it? Do you? Do you? Yeah, I did not think so.) together in the sunshine and rainbows, which had appeared without the presence of rain. It was really quite the sight to see! If only it existed someplace outside of my imagination! But it does not, so too bad! Your own imagination will have to suffice.
Sian the half human, half robot was a bit of a literature buff. “We will be just like Romeo and Juliet,” she said. “Except not quite as dead.” Some of you may be able to recognise this as a song lyric. If you are one of those people, you win FIFTY TRILLION POINTS!!! in my books. If you do not recognise it as a song lyric from a Whomping Willows song… well… I think that you need to listen to nerdier music. About wizards. Or magical trees at a wizarding school, as the case may be.
I digress. And I did not really have a point with that, except for that Kaylee, the fully robotic mother of Sian the half human, half robot and Holly, the mother of Scott the evil robot were feuding, and their offspring were in love, and I had the lyric stuck in my head. There was thumb biting going on all over the shop. Robot thumbs. It is true. Or, at least, as true as anything else in this story (that is; nothing.)
So the NEW AND IMPROVED PENTAGON OF POWER, MUHAHAHA!!! and Scott the evil robot were hanging out, quite cheerfully together. And, except for the part where really none of them had forgotten anything about it, they had all forgotten about Scott the evil robot’s plan for World Domination, and to become the
[9:22:13 PM] Qew says: guess who saw Henry IV AND Henry V last friday ^_^
[9:22:25 PM] Ally says: really? i thought they were dead
Oh… that was not what I meant to paste. Just a sec. All Powerful Overlord of the Planet Earth, and Any Other Planets of Which he May Come to Take Power. That is better. But now for the context.
Let me try again, eh?
And, except for the part where really none of them had forgotten anything about it, they had all forgotten about Scott the evil robot’s plan for World Domination, and to become the All Powerful Overlord of the Planet Earth, and Any Other Planets of Which he May Come to Take Power. (That worked better, no?)
They were having a good time together. They were playing Go Fish! together. It looked like good fun. I only wish they were not fictional, so that I could join in. But alas, they ARE indeed fictional, and I have no one - human or robot - to play Go Fish! with. With whom to play Go Fish! Yeah. I have no one - human or robot - with whom to play Go Fish! Upsetting. Will YOU play Go Fish! with me? And Scrabble? I have been hanging out for a good game of Scrabble for a while now. It is true. But anyway, this is not about me, nor my life of being a hermit who stays inside and writes all day. This is to point out that the NEW AND IMPROVED PENTAGON OF POWER, MUHAHAHA!!! and Scott the evil robot were getting along well good, and if it had not have been for Sian the half human, half robot’s fully robotic mother, Kaylee, and Scott the evil robot’s mother, Holly, World Peace would surely have abounded. Except for the part where Scott the evil robot still wanted World Domination and to become the All Powerful Overlord of the Planet Earth, and Any Other Planets of Which he May Come to Take Power. But still. It was closer than it had been in a little while.
And so once they - the NEW AND IMPROVED PENTAGON OF POWER, MUHAHAHA!!! and Scott the evil robot - had played Go Fish! for several days, they decided to go ACTUAL fishing.
So they pulled out their fishing rods, and found a pond. It was quite a small pond, but it was a pond none the less. Everyone was pretty darn pumped to go fishing. I mean, why would they NOT want to go fishing?! FISHING!!! It is excellent, or something. I do not know. I do not eat fish. Or particularly like particularly outdoorsy stuff. Fishing is not on my list of fun. BUT FOR THE NEW AND IMPROVED PENTAGON OF POWER, MUHAHAHA!!! AND SCOTT THE EVIL ROBOT! Watch out! Good times, ahoy!
Until, that is, they realised what kind of fish, exactly, were in that pond. And I do not think that it would take a genius, nor a fortune teller, nor someone who ruined the story by skipping ahead, to realise what sort of fish were in that pond. In that pond were, indeed, GIANT MURRAY COD.
Just a glimpse of the giant Murray cod was enough to send Scott the evil robot into a stormy rage. Any sense of getting along with the NEW AND IMPROVED PENTAGON OF POWER, MUHAHAHA!!!, or romance with Sian the half human, half robot FLEW out the window. Seeing the Murray cod, the only thing that registered in Scott the evil robot’s programming was “WORLD DOMINATION!!! ALL POWERFUL OVERLORD OF THE PLANET EARTH, AND ANY OTHER PLANETS OF WHICH HE MAY COME TO TAKE POWER!!! WORLD DOMINATION!!! ALL POWERFUL OVERLORD OF THE PLANET EARTH, AND ANY OTHER PLANETS OF WHICH HE MAY COME TO TAKE POWER!!!” Which, you know, was not all that great for the NEW AND IMPROVED PENTAGON OF POWER, MUHAHAHA!!!, least of all Sian the half human, half robot.
So after India, and Lucy the Literate, and Andrew the Apple Eater, and Eleanor the Electric ate their delicious lasagne, they sat down to admire their work from afar. By which I mean, they kind of spied a little on Scott the evil robot and Sian the half human, half robot. Just a little.
Sian the half human, half robot and Scott the evil robot sat together, chatting away, in binary.
“Zero, zero, zero, one. One, one, one, one, zero, one, zero, one, one, one,” Sian the half human, half robot would say.
“One, one, one, zero, one, one, zero, zero, one,” Scott the evil robot would reply.
“One, one, one, one, one, one, one, zero, zero, zero, zero, one,” Sian the half human, half robot would laugh.
“Zero, zero, zero, one, zero, one, zero, one, zero, zero, zero, zero, zero, one,” Scott the evil robot would quip, and it would go on like that for some while. Quite romantic, I think you would agree.
No, I am not going to translate their conversation into English. Give the ‘bots some privacy! And, no, it is not just because I am not able to think of what two robots (well, one robot and one half human, half robot, but, eh, who is going to notice if I just call them two robots?) would talk about on their first date (well, first date in the light-emitting diode eyes of Scott the evil robot. Sian the half human, half robot could remember plenty of dates that the two had been on together).
(Off topic; did you ever wonder how Sian the half human, half robot would actually become a half human, half robot? It is quite the odd situation, I think you will agree. I am not even sure how that would work. I am not even sure I would want to know how that would work. I think that it might just be best to not think about it, like I have been doing all this time. Yes.)
So anyway, Sian the half human, half robot and Scott the evil robot were quickly falling in love. Or quickly falling back in love, as the case may be. Depends if you are asking Sian the half human, half robot, or Scott the evil robot. But please do not ask either of them at this present moment, because then you would be interrupting their date, and then the collapse of the world as we know it may be on your shoulders. For you see, every moment that Scott the evil robot spent happily with Sian the half human, half robot, was another moment that he was not seizing World Domination by coming the All Powerful Overlord of the Planet Earth, and Any Other Planets of Which he May Come to Take Power.
So naturally, everything was going pretty swell. Pretty swell indeed. Swimmingly, in fact! Everything was going swimmingly.
The NEW AND IMPROVED PENTAGON OF POWER, MUHAHAHA!!! spent their days eating port wine jelly with ice cream (holding the punch in the belly, of course), less Sian, who spent her days with Scott the evil robot, who was not seizing Domination of the World, and not becoming So after India, and Lucy the Literate, and Andrew the Apple Eater, and Eleanor the Electric ate their delicious lasagne, they sat down to admire their work from afar. By which I mean, they kind of spied a little on Scott the evil robot and Sian the half human, half robot.
Sian the half human, half robot and Scott the evil robot sat together, chatting away, in binary.
“Zero, zero, zero, one. One, one, one, one, zero, one, zero, one, one, one,” Sian the half human, half robot would say.
“One, one, one, zero, one, one, zero, zero, one,” Scott the evil robot would reply.
“One, one, one, one, one, one, one, zero, zero, zero, zero, one,” Sian the half human, half robot would laugh.
“Zero, zero, zero, one, zero, one, zero, one, zero, zero, zero, zero, zero, one,” Scott the evil robot would quip, and it would go on like that for some while. Quite romantic, I think you would agree.
No, I am not going to translate their conversation into English. Give the ‘bots some privacy! And, no, it is not just because I am not able to think of what two robots (well, one robot and one half human, half robot, but, eh, who is going to notice if I just call them two robots?) would talk about on their first date (well, first date in the light-emitting diode eyes of Scott the evil robot. Sian the half human, half robot could remember plenty of dates that the two had been on together).
(Off topic; did you ever wonder how Sian the half human, half robot would actually become a half human, half robot? It is quite the odd situation, I think you will agree. I am not even sure how that would work. I am not even sure I would want to know how that would work. I think that it might just be best to not think about it, like I have been doing all this time. Yes.)
So anyway, Sian the half human, half robot and Scott the evil robot were quickly falling in love. Or quickly falling back in love, as the case may be. Depends if you are asking Sian the half human, half robot, or Scott the evil robot. But please do not ask either of them at this present moment, because then you would be interrupting their date, and then the collapse of the world as we know it may be on your shoulders. For you see, every moment that Scott the evil robot spent happily with Sian the half human, half robot, was another moment that he was not seizing World Domination by coming the All Powerful Overlord of the Planet Earth, and Any Other Planets of Which he May Come to Take Power. Everything was swell.
Everything was swell, that is, until Scott the evil robot and Sian the half human, half robot decided they wanted to get married. Now, clearly, that was not the issue. True love, and all that jazz. Sian the half human, half robot were destined to a life of nothing less than complete romantic bliss. That was, until, the robot mothers arrived on the scene.
All mothers, I think you will agree, are protective of their children. Some more so than others. In fact, some of the most over protective mothers in the world just happen to be robot mothers. They are just programmed that way. And although the mothers of both Scott the evil robot and Sian the half human, half robot wanted their respective children to be as happy as humanly possible - as robotly possible? - in the known universe, neither of the two robot mothers thought that the other’s child was good enough for their own ickle tinkertins. And so when the time came for the two robotic women to meet, it only resulted in awkwardness in everyone else who happened to be present at the time. That is, the NEW AND IMPROVED PENTAGON OF POWER, MUHAHAHA!!!
“So this is the little tin man,” said Sian the half human, half robot’s fully robotic mother, looking at Scott the evil robot. Sian the half human, half robot’s fully robotic mother’s name was Kaylee. And she, like all the other fully robotic characters that we have met, she only spoke in binary. So she said it more like, “One, zero, zero, one. One, one, one, one, zero, zero, zero. One, one, one, one, one, one, one, zero, zero, zero. One. One, one, zero.”
“He is NOT made of tin,” said the mother of Scott the evil robot, who was named Holly, and a little touchy on the subject. “He is made of cardboard. And very fine cardboard, too. Silver!” And Holly the robot mother of Scott the evil robot was no exception to the binary speaking robot rule, so she said it more like, “One, one, one, zero, one, one, zero, one. One, zero, zero, zero, zero, zero, zero, one. One, zero. Zero. Zero, one, one.”
“Pah!” Cried Kaylee, the mother of Sian the half human, half robot. “Cardboard? My robotskinsky deserves more than cardboard! How is a cardboard meant to provide for my little Sian the half human, half robot?” But, of course, in binary. “One, one, one, zero, one, zero, zero, one. One, one, zero, one, zero, one, one, zero, one.”
Actually, I think there was another robot at one point, and he spoke in beeps? Is that right? I am not able to remember where, or when, or what its purpose was. Or if it even existed. Confirmation, anyone? Anyone?
“So now my little Scott the evil robot is meant to PROVIDE for your daughter?” Holly, Scott the evil robot’s mother, said. “He has enough on his plate, trying to become the All Powerful Overlord of the Planet Earth, and Any Other Planets of Which he May Come to Take Power! And you expect your little whatever she is to live off of him? How is he meant to do that while achieving World Domination? And even though he is already too good for that pile of bones and scrap metal, by the time that he is All Powerful Overlord of the Planet Earth, and Any Other Planets of Which he May Come to Take Power, my little Scotty - Robottikins will be way out of her league!” And in binary; “One, one, one, zero, zero, zero, one. One, zero, one, zero, zero, zero, one. One, one, one, one, one zero. Zero, one, zero, zero, one, one. Zero, zero, zero, zero. One, one, zero, one, one. One, one, one, zero. One, one, one, zero, one. One, one. One, zero. One. Zero. One.”
“Like I want my Sian-y waan-y the half human, half robot to marry an All Powerful Overlord of the Planet Earth, and Any Other Planets of Which he May Come to Take Power, anyway! What would the neighbours say!?” Kaylee, Sian’s fully robotic mother said, and then imitated the potential neighbours, who strangely enough had croaky, but high pitched voices. “’Oh, there goes Mrs. All Powerful Overlord of the Planet Earth, and Any Other Planets of Which he May Come to Take Power… Oh my, look at the state of her garden. That is what happens when you marry the All Powerful Overlord of the Planet Earth, and Any Other Planets of Which he May Come to Take Power.’” And for those playing along in binary, “One, one, one, one, one, zero, zero, one. One, one, one, zero, one, zero, one, one, zero, zero, one. One, one, one, one, zero, zero, one, one, zero, one. Zero, zero, zero, one, zero. One, zero, one, zero, one, zero, one, one. One, zero, zero, zero, zero, zero, one. One, one, zero, one. Zero, zero, one. Zero, one, zero. One. Zero. Zero, one.”
The NEW AND IMPROVED PENTAGON OF POWER, MUHAHAHA!!! and Scott the evil robot slowly slinked - slinked? Slunk? They did slink? They left, okay? They left. Good. - away, leaving the robotic mothers to battle it out. The difference between robotic mothers and human mothers is that robotic mothers do not grow tired of their argument. So Kaylee, the fully robotic mother of Sian the half human, half robot, and Holly, the mother of Scott the evil robot continued to argue for many days and many nights. Meanwhile, the NEW AND IMPROVED PENTAGON OF POWER, MUHAHAHA!!! and Scott the evil robot - who, despite his inherent evilness, it turned out they got along quite well with. I think that sentence makes grammatical sense… Hmm… the NEW AND IMPROVED PENTAGON OF POWER, MUHAHAHA!!! got along quite well with Scott the evil robot, despite his inherent evilness. That works. - enjoyed sandwiches and cups of lemon iced tea (yeah, I am listening to Ben Abraham, so what? Do you want to make something of it? Do you? Do you? Yeah, I did not think so.) together in the sunshine and rainbows, which had appeared without the presence of rain. It was really quite the sight to see! If only it existed someplace outside of my imagination! But it does not, so too bad! Your own imagination will have to suffice.
Sian the half human, half robot was a bit of a literature buff. “We will be just like Romeo and Juliet,” she said. “Except not quite as dead.” Some of you may be able to recognise this as a song lyric. If you are one of those people, you win FIFTY TRILLION POINTS!!! in my books. If you do not recognise it as a song lyric from a Whomping Willows song… well… I think that you need to listen to nerdier music. About wizards. Or magical trees at a wizarding school, as the case may be.
I digress. And I did not really have a point with that, except for that Kaylee, the fully robotic mother of Sian the half human, half robot and Holly, the mother of Scott the evil robot were feuding, and their offspring were in love, and I had the lyric stuck in my head. There was thumb biting going on all over the shop. Robot thumbs. It is true. Or, at least, as true as anything else in this story (that is; nothing.)
So the NEW AND IMPROVED PENTAGON OF POWER, MUHAHAHA!!! and Scott the evil robot were hanging out, quite cheerfully together. And, except for the part where really none of them had forgotten anything about it, they had all forgotten about Scott the evil robot’s plan for World Domination, and to become the
[9:22:13 PM] Qew says: guess who saw Henry IV AND Henry V last friday ^_^
[9:22:25 PM] Ally says: really? i thought they were dead
Oh… that was not what I meant to paste. Just a sec. All Powerful Overlord of the Planet Earth, and Any Other Planets of Which he May Come to Take Power. That is better. But now for the context.
Let me try again, eh?
And, except for the part where really none of them had forgotten anything about it, they had all forgotten about Scott the evil robot’s plan for World Domination, and to become the All Powerful Overlord of the Planet Earth, and Any Other Planets of Which he May Come to Take Power. (That worked better, no?)
They were having a good time together. They were playing Go Fish! together. It looked like good fun. I only wish they were not fictional, so that I could join in. But alas, they ARE indeed fictional, and I have no one - human or robot - to play Go Fish! with. With whom to play Go Fish! Yeah. I have no one - human or robot - with whom to play Go Fish! Upsetting. Will YOU play Go Fish! with me? And Scrabble? I have been hanging out for a good game of Scrabble for a while now. It is true. But anyway, this is not about me, nor my life of being a hermit who stays inside and writes all day. This is to point out that the NEW AND IMPROVED PENTAGON OF POWER, MUHAHAHA!!! and Scott the evil robot were getting along well good, and if it had not have been for Sian the half human, half robot’s fully robotic mother, Kaylee, and Scott the evil robot’s mother, Holly, World Peace would surely have abounded. Except for the part where Scott the evil robot still wanted World Domination and to become the All Powerful Overlord of the Planet Earth, and Any Other Planets of Which he May Come to Take Power. But still. It was closer than it had been in a little while.
And so once they - the NEW AND IMPROVED PENTAGON OF POWER, MUHAHAHA!!! and Scott the evil robot - had played Go Fish! for several days, they decided to go ACTUAL fishing.
So they pulled out their fishing rods, and found a pond. It was quite a small pond, but it was a pond none the less. Everyone was pretty darn pumped to go fishing. I mean, why would they NOT want to go fishing?! FISHING!!! It is excellent, or something. I do not know. I do not eat fish. Or particularly like particularly outdoorsy stuff. Fishing is not on my list of fun. BUT FOR THE NEW AND IMPROVED PENTAGON OF POWER, MUHAHAHA!!! AND SCOTT THE EVIL ROBOT! Watch out! Good times, ahoy!
Until, that is, they realised what kind of fish, exactly, were in that pond. And I do not think that it would take a genius, nor a fortune teller, nor someone who ruined the story by skipping ahead, to realise what sort of fish were in that pond. In that pond were, indeed, GIANT MURRAY COD.
Just a glimpse of the giant Murray cod was enough to send Scott the evil robot into a stormy rage. Any sense of getting along with the NEW AND IMPROVED PENTAGON OF POWER, MUHAHAHA!!!, or romance with Sian the half human, half robot FLEW out the window. Seeing the Murray cod, the only thing that registered in Scott the evil robot’s programming was “WORLD DOMINATION!!! ALL POWERFUL OVERLORD OF THE PLANET EARTH, AND ANY OTHER PLANETS OF WHICH HE MAY COME TO TAKE POWER!!! WORLD DOMINATION!!! ALL POWERFUL OVERLORD OF THE PLANET EARTH, AND ANY OTHER PLANETS OF WHICH HE MAY COME TO TAKE POWER!!!” Which, you know, was not all that great for the NEW AND IMPROVED PENTAGON OF POWER, MUHAHAHA!!!, least of all Sian the half human, half robot.