(no subject)
swow. this past week/weekend...has been like...yeah.
FRIDAY
Went to church after a day of no school and shopping for the rally. Starr bought this DVD for our youth group that`s like, a lesson plan. It was pretty cool. Then...we had some surprise guests, yay. Moke and David. I walked in the hall and saw them and i`m like, whoa...is it Sunday?? haha. Yeah and me and Moke...well, we had our talk...and it was awesome. I finally got to get everything out that i`ve been wanting to. And I just want to say...I`m sorry. I`ve been a failure as a friend, as a Christian. I just hope that all the problems will be solved soon, because i really don`t know how much longer I can go with things being this way. i would hate to...dread going to church...and i`m scared, because that`s what i`ve been starting to do recently...no, that`s a lie...it`s been going on for weeks now. I just...feel like a total outsider at my church, which shouldn`t be, because we`re a family, right? Wrong. And those that I actually do want to talk to...get taken away from me or are busy with other things. That`s fine; we all have the right to do whatever we want. I just walk around from group to group, eventually leaving because i`m not in their "circle." It`s crazy because I feel like i`m walking around in circles, helpless, hopeless, screaming for help...and no one`s there. I`m just disappointed because for the longest time, church was the one place i could go to and feel safe, happy, secure, appreciated...now i just feel let down. I don`t know, maybe i`m wrong. and i probably am. But...yeah...it`s out there now.
SATURDAY
so...it was the Youth Rally..."What`s It About?" was the underlying theme. We were basically trying to get the public`s focus on Easter back from Easter Bunnies and candy to the real meaning of Easter. And yes, it was my first time being the actuall activities director. I just hope i did a good job. But...i dunno...it was cool seeing all my Indio friends...you indians !!! teeheehee. lol but the food was good....especially, *cough, cough* the nachos, don`t you think? [by the way...if you`re wondering, i was the one who brought the nachos and whatnot.] I think Steamer did a great job speaking, especially since it was his first time. And worship was amazing...when my sister had her solo i was borderlining on awe...i mean, yeah i hear her sing all the time...but it was different...Brian kept trying to talk and i`m like, "shut up!! my sister`s singing!!!" haha. Overall it was pretty good. I got to talk to everyone...man i wish we could ALL go to the same church...*sigh* i miss my peoples so much...and i met others, too. Moke brought his friend Cindy...and she is SO gosh darn cool. Ans i brought my friend Kimberly, and yes...she is the tall white girl!!!! haha but she loved every minute of the rally. She met a lot of really cool people...i won`t mention names...lol but she`s looking foward to more events. And hey, Lizzie...there`s always next time. Skip the scuba diving!!! haha.
SUNDAY
Easterrrrrr Sundayyyyy!!! Today was cool, I guess. The food, at least. I was a loner today. I don`t know if anyone noticed, but I was just like...yeah...i mean i FINALLY got to talk to Niky...about the things that have been going on...she wants me to fill her in on the last few months...but that would take up hours. Like i said, there`s not many people i can talk to. At least...I had Niky...and Joodeeh...and...darn it, what a short list! Anyways I had to play the piano for the congregation and i was SO NERVOUS. and i was looking for and of my friends that would be in the audience but nooooo...*sigh* at least i got some sor tof encouragment [yes, judy, thanks for the blow kiss. you made me laugh during prayer.] lol. But yeah...food was good...the song we sang was good, eeven though the minute i went through the door they were saying something about singing and suddenly i`m pushed into the back row...*sigh* i hope no one heard me...hahaha. People were being weird. Matthew was on the drums. Me, Leslie, and Judy were singing and dedicating songs to Chea...haha. There was a debate over whether or not Stephen`s shirt was pink [guys, it was burgundy-plum]. David was scooting hisself across the carpet trying to shock people...manza, you know how much that hurts?!?! haha and yeah. uuummmmm. not much else to say, so i`ll leave.
ARIZONA...WEDNESDAY THROUGH SUNDAY...MAN I`M SO GLAD TO BE GONE. I REALLY NEED THIS TIME AWAY FROM EVERYTHING, EVERYONE. THE BEST THING IS THAT ME AND MY SISTER ARE LEAVING FIRST. SO I GET WENDESDAY THROUGH FRIDAY WITHOUT MY PARENTS!!! *sigh* my aunt in Las Vegas is so cool. Alright. Good night.