Summing this year up!
I normally hate to write all kinds of artistic statements but this summary seemed so lonesome without any kind of clarification, so here I go... (Oh and here is the blank version!)
This was one of the worst years in my life. I’m glad it’s coming to an end and I’m glad I got through. Some things happened to me that I’m still uncomfortable of talking about in public. Words were said and things were done. My three major achievements were: staying alive, not dropping school (which would be a shame to do in my 5th year) and not giving up on art (which is something I couldn’t normally even consider). I guess this is all general public needs to know, I’m pretty sure your imagination will work better than my whining.
Now let me go through this year month-by-month.
January: I drew a lot. I finished my series of comics based on Chekhov writings, which received disappointing and even crushing critical acclaim at school but continues to bring all kinds of nice comments when I show it to people. It was a challenge, but looking back, I’m glad I took it (that’s the way I used to look at all challenges before this year started and things started to change).
February: Mostly sketches. Lots of concept work, including all preparation for the comic I’m currently making, Crop Circles. Also I discovered blue pencil and finished one off in a month. I guess things were already changing by then but I didn’t know it.
March: A drastic change came. I still drew a lot but I picked the picture because it represented what was going on with my life at the moment and because it was a very honest picture. I don’t think every piece of art should represent deep thoughts or have symbolic meanings, but this one does. If you’ve been there, you’ll know the place. (The title comes from my favorite song, Climbing To The Moon.)
April: Trying to pretend everything is going fine. It isn't. A group picture of the TT cast as kids. I learned a lot with that picture, even if it doesn’t show.
May: Mostly trying to manage school on top of everything. Hardcore studying for the exams. Almost no time for TT and drawing, when it’s not drawing for school. Very disappointing work in my Illustration class (the marks were all As and Bs, but it was personally disappointing, not up to the standards I set for myself). But I’m kind of proud of this picture of McFael’s house. In the story, McFael’s house is a place everyone (Keener especially) takes refuge at, so I guess that was also appropriate at the time.
June: Trying to get back in the groove and failing. It was one of the few TT pictures I did that month. I spent it mostly moping.
July: I did ONLY life drawing. My head refused to produce any kinds of plots or stories (one of the scariest feelings in my life, it was like a part of me was taken away) so all I could was using the free time for the only practicing I could handle so not to give up drawing altogether. It was also the time the notorious forest fires started.
August: Trying to get back in the groove again. Using all the means I had to scrape it all back together. Picking myself up again and again. I gotta admit, I’ve never been in a situation like that
September: My first proper picture in how many months? Mostly proving to myself that I can do it. Life is slowly getting back in the tracks. Trying to clean up the uncleanable mess, just like Keener in the picture. I did draw Keener a lot this year - what has happened to him at one point was a bit similar to what has happened to me this year (and no, I didn’t become a rocket scientist) so I could relate and I was using TT to think about stuff a lot. TT is generally an accurate summary of my views on the world. I guess it’s inevitable, even if I try very hard to NOT make any character the author’s mouthpiece.
October: Getting TT back to work, starting up the comic again. I really enjoy drawing big cast of characters - I have to admit, I'm attached to this project. Also discovering Doctor Who (finally!).
November: WE LAUGH IN THE FACE OF DANGER. Take it as you will.
December: I don’t want to jinx it, so I’m posting a little preview of a picture that goes on my Christmas cards this year (I hope you people will like it). I’m not really happy with it, but I’m not happy with anything I produce these days (something I’ve been trying to get control of) so I figured it would make no difference whatever I posted.
I liked this summary less than the previous one. There, I was growing artistically. Here, I was growing older. But I guess I like to squint back at the passed year and maybe figure something out, so that’s why I’m filling this meme and typing this text up. Very smart people learn from others’ mistakes, smart people learn from their own mistakes and fools don’t learn at all. I’m not sure which group I belong to yet.
One thing I don’t like about this summary in particularly is that there’s a quite a lot of white space in it. Of course, it’s my inner illustrator’s urge to play with white, but next year I’ll try to work more on finding other backgrounds than white. I also going to work harder on comicking, since practically no comics made to this summary this year.
I don’t know what the next year will bring. 2010 was as horrible as 2009 was great for me. I like to think that the next one will be better than 2010 but if this year has taught me anything it’s that there is no “everything has to turn out fine!” It can turn any way. Nobody was promised a happy ending. But I’m not going to give up without a fight.