(no subject)
This whole year I have been lost for words. I have had a really difficult time writing my thoughts down. I think and think and think, however they do not form real words. Maybe I need to start anew. Maybe I will create a new journal the day I get home. And I will change how I approach this. I will write in real paragraphs, as opposed to the short, fragmented, one-line sentences. Maybe I'll start stringing all my words together like this in paragraph-form, because maybe they are safer this was; safer because they form big chunky walls.
It finally hit me the other night driving home from the Inner Harbor with Christiane and Jess that it is over. Sophomore year is over. It hit me and I felt that feeling when I know some big and sudden change is about to happen. It's an all over feeling, and everything I see around me looks real crisp and clean-like and dramatic. And my skin is not-quite goose-bumped. We will all be leaving 1504 Mt. Royal and starting to go different ways. I think it is the beginning of growing up-apart. Going abroad, figuring things out, and going to other places to learn more to figure it all out. It's like a big shake up before a settle down; starting to move around, separating from our families and friends, and then settling into the nooks that feel best and make sense. Town or city or abroad nooks. I'm at the point where I'm starting to get real shook up, I think. But it will be that way for a number of years yet. It's kind of uncomfortable, and hard and frustrating, but at least it is exciting.
It finally hit me the other night driving home from the Inner Harbor with Christiane and Jess that it is over. Sophomore year is over. It hit me and I felt that feeling when I know some big and sudden change is about to happen. It's an all over feeling, and everything I see around me looks real crisp and clean-like and dramatic. And my skin is not-quite goose-bumped. We will all be leaving 1504 Mt. Royal and starting to go different ways. I think it is the beginning of growing up-apart. Going abroad, figuring things out, and going to other places to learn more to figure it all out. It's like a big shake up before a settle down; starting to move around, separating from our families and friends, and then settling into the nooks that feel best and make sense. Town or city or abroad nooks. I'm at the point where I'm starting to get real shook up, I think. But it will be that way for a number of years yet. It's kind of uncomfortable, and hard and frustrating, but at least it is exciting.