HERE'S A STORY FOR YOU...
So oneday, I'm walking past a fruit market, right. Then this watermelon goes to me
"WAAARGH!!! YOU'RE THE FATTEST PERSON I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE"
So I'm all like "Excuse the f me?!"
And then he's like
"Uhhh... uh oh, no, sorry, sorry! I meant the person behind you!"
But I knew what I had heard. I pulled out my trusty knife and..
THE END