My Guncle unalived himself this week
TW* death* *Mental illness*
I hadn't seen my guncle since my aunt's funeral last year. But before that, I hadn't seen him in 5 years. He stopped coming to all the family functions. I could tell from his Facebook pics he was depressed and lonely. But I never reached out.
He wasn't always lonely. I remember he had boyfriends. He once seemed to have it all. He was a star soccer player at his high school. He was so talented, that he earned a soccer scholarship to Chico State. He studied psychology there.
He did well for himself. He paid 10k a month for his mortgage and his place looked huge in pictures. He also drove an audio convertible that he loved taking selfies in.
I didn't learn until recently that he was HIV positive. My family was not kind to him about it. I'm wondering if that's why he stopped coming to family functions and kept to himself at my aunt's funeral. He wasn't his usual outgoing, life-of-the-party self. But it was a funeral so I didn't think twice about it.
I also found out he had lupus and was an alcoholic. It was obvious when we went to clean out his penthouse. Bottles of booze everywhere. Junk, everywhere. So much stuff I couldn't tell where he slept.
At first, we thought he was robbed. The place looked ransacked but his wallet and keys were there. Nothing was missing.
I offered to adopt his German Shepherd, but he does not get along with my pit bull. Plus, he would not stop howling at night and I know my neighbors are pissed. So, I'm guilting my cousin into taking him in. We both agreed that he should be at the funeral so he knows that our guncle didn't abandon him.
My father is surprisingly calm about this. He has always been prejudiced about gays but he respected my uncle enough to keep his comments to himself. My entire Pentecostal family has. He was never able to bring any of his partners to any family functions though.
I'm sorry that his life wasn't as cool as it seemed. And that he was unhappy. And that he was lonely. And that even though he would post about it on Facebook, no one seemed to make an effort to make him feel less lonely. I hope he's in a place where his presence is appreciated since we failed to do that while he was still here.
I'm sorry, guncle. Sleep well and enjoy your everlasting peace.