OVER IT
So my son tells me last night, "mommy you're fired". I was like gee, thanks. Lately he thinks he's mister shot caller. I gotta keep reminding him he's not though.
My overall vacation was aight. Wed was cool. I took that power nap and was as good as new. Well not exactly. I've had like a stomach bug all last week, plus major fatigue. Anyways so basically I did go to the thing at Belo with my friends, but I stayed sober the entire night. Which is a change for me. It was really fun, I always have fun with my girls. But I ran into my "weakness". I call him that's cause he really is. I had written him off entirely. I was so over it, honestly I was. And I was fine with that. But it seems whenever I happen to run into him at a club we end up glued to each other all night. I am so fine when I don't see him, and we've gone weeks before with out seeing or speaking to each other…which was cool cause the way I looked at it, men are only truly great for one thing. Everything else that trickles in is usually just bullshit. But anyways back to my story. I don't like the fact that he's usually always "mad" at me for some reason or another. And me, being the person I am, could care less. But on the same note it's frustrating cause it's like, dude we don't even got it like that. We are not even at a level to be allowed to be mad at each other. You shouldn't have that privilege! Lol. Really though. And he'll be mad about the same shit like 2 weeks later too. I think it's a game to him, cause if he was really mad, why would he be hanging out with me? Why even dance with me all night? And I'm not going to be sorry cause I'm blunt and to the point and don't bullshit or fuck around, and may have said something that greatly offended him. I don't like to sugar coat shit…well at work I sugar coat shit all the time for the customers, but not in "real" life. Lol. Anyways point being..I don't know that point actually; I don't know where I was going with that…. Hm. Moving right along.
The next day was thanksgiving, and obviously I had no hangover cause I did not drink, but I still had major stomach pains all day and fatigue. I picked my son up early morning and took him to brunch at Denny's. A Nice little thanksgiving breakfast, just the two of us…um then rented some movies, cause I knew I'd be alone on thanksgiving and wanted something to do. Then Jacob picked up Esmond for thanksgiving dinner. He invited me over, I asked if his family would be there, he said yes so I said "then hell no". He did however bring me a nice big plate of food. Which was thoughtful of him. And I baked a cherry pie. But then after my son was gone, I sat down and watched "United 93" about the one of the 9/11 planes that crashed. Man that movie was intense and made me cry. Then I dunno..I picked up my son, came back home, and could not stop thinking about my grandparents, who I had spent every single holiday with throughout my entire youth, until they passed away my junior year in high school…not just that. It's a long story really. But I think just being alone on thanksgiving. I had never been alone, like my entire 23 years on any holiday. I always had my own family or my boyfriends/husbands so it was weird and depressing, and made me miss my family but above all my grandparents. But I could seriously not get them out of my mind, and could not stop crying. Like un-controllable crying. I have not even cried like that…in fuck I can't even remember..oh yeah the last time I cried like that is when they told me I had a tumor in my right ovary and if it was cancerous and spread they would have to remove it and possibly my baby and entire uterus (I was 4 months pregnant). Anyways then my son wandered in the room, hugged me, took my head in his arms and told me to stop crying that "it's gonna be alright mommy". So I stopped. But overall, it was a sucky night. I needed a distraction, but was far too lazy and out of it and blah to put forth any real effort in getting one. I am glad my brother-in-law will be in town for Christmas. I'm going to try and spend most of the day with him and my nephews, I definitely don't want Christmas to be anywhere near my thanksgiving..um
Oh then Friday Jacob and I took esmond to the Zoo. It was an okay time. This time I got to see the tigers 8). Afterwards went shopping, then got dressed to meet Erika and Jacky at the tavern. My stomach was still kind of iffy so I didn't drink all that much. Just got a buzz. It was so damn crowded, but still we had fun. Went to Denny's afterwards and saw Tyreese. Tyreese as in the singer/model/actor. It was funny cause he only had one bodyguard and the bodyguard was smaller then him lol. He wasn't that small, but he was maybe like my height or something, and as far as bodyguards go I think that's pretty lame. He was also with 4 girls. It was just odd; we were like, what the hell is Tyreese doing in P.B at Denny's at 2:30 in the morning? It was whatever though we just kept eating. The people across from us were being so obnoxious about it though, yelling and singing his songs, trying to get his attention. It's like dude just shut up and let the man eat. He's just a fuckin person. But I shouldn't even talk cause if that was some one like Arod, I would have ended up being arresting for attempted rape or something Lol. Ah anyways. That was my Friday.
Saturday was okay, kind of lounged around the house all day then at night had a "date". Which was weird cause we went to a club for our first date. Actually the same place I went to Wednesday I went on Saturday with him. It was way too crowded and hot and hard to dance being so close to so many fucking people. I don't think I will be going there again. I mean Wednesday was cool cause both rooms were hip-hop so neither one was over packed. But Saturday it wasn't like that. Plus I was tired and drained and felt sick, I didn't even want to go at all. But I made plans, and I will not flake if I've made plans with someone, unless something out of my control comes up…but anyways it was the first time I'd had a date at a nightclub. And I must say I have a much better time when I go out with my girls. So we decided next time we'll do something "normal" like dinner and a movie. Then when I was getting ready I was curling the ends of my hair and I was done with exactly the left side of my head, when my curling iron decided to collapse and break on me! I was like fuck! It was too late to go to the store and get a replacement, and I looked like an idiot with half my head curled. But after careful time and precision I was able to curl the rest with the broken curling iron. Was surprised I didn't burn myself. In fact I just did burn myself last week. That was totally my fault though. I tend to dance a lot when I get dressed and do my hair, and the iron slipped while I was doing so and left a big ugly burn on my chest. But of course lesson not learned cause I still dance when doing my hair.
And my Sunday- My Sunday I was a hermit all day. I did not leave my house a single time the entire day. I stayed in and watched the game, then Grease, then watched I heart huckabees. Which is my all-time favorite movie. It makes me laugh every time I see it, and usually always lifts my mood. Also I cooked! I made a bunch of pasta salad, and then chicken adodo then slow cooked a roast, so I can shred the beef and use it for tostadas all week. My goal is not spend any more money on food, so I made enough chicken adobo, pasta, and beef to last me all week. Then I read my two books. I am reading The Red Tent and also The World According to Garp. I like them both but am hooked on The world according to Garp. I read for like 3 hours last night. I have not actually read a book since…. February, so my eyes are not in the best of shape for reading, but they'll get used to it again.
I don't know if it was just because I was sick last week, but I kinda felt burnt out on the whole party scene. Like over it. So I think I'm gonna chill for a while. Just start reading again and dating more. I kind of threw the whole dating thing out the window once I started partying. I didn't have time for it. I'll still do P.B on Tuesday's and maybe decco's every other Saturday or something…but I think I'm gonna relax for a bit…then again next week I might feel the opposite. I can never trust my own feelings, they change so quickly...And today it's raining and cold, a perfect day to curl up with a blanket and read...anyways I leave you with a quote from my book-
"In this dirty-minded world, she thought, you are either somebody's wife or somebody's whore-or fast on your way to becoming one or the other. If you don't fit either category, then everyone tries to make you think there is something wrong with you. But, she thought, there is nothing wrong with me."
My overall vacation was aight. Wed was cool. I took that power nap and was as good as new. Well not exactly. I've had like a stomach bug all last week, plus major fatigue. Anyways so basically I did go to the thing at Belo with my friends, but I stayed sober the entire night. Which is a change for me. It was really fun, I always have fun with my girls. But I ran into my "weakness". I call him that's cause he really is. I had written him off entirely. I was so over it, honestly I was. And I was fine with that. But it seems whenever I happen to run into him at a club we end up glued to each other all night. I am so fine when I don't see him, and we've gone weeks before with out seeing or speaking to each other…which was cool cause the way I looked at it, men are only truly great for one thing. Everything else that trickles in is usually just bullshit. But anyways back to my story. I don't like the fact that he's usually always "mad" at me for some reason or another. And me, being the person I am, could care less. But on the same note it's frustrating cause it's like, dude we don't even got it like that. We are not even at a level to be allowed to be mad at each other. You shouldn't have that privilege! Lol. Really though. And he'll be mad about the same shit like 2 weeks later too. I think it's a game to him, cause if he was really mad, why would he be hanging out with me? Why even dance with me all night? And I'm not going to be sorry cause I'm blunt and to the point and don't bullshit or fuck around, and may have said something that greatly offended him. I don't like to sugar coat shit…well at work I sugar coat shit all the time for the customers, but not in "real" life. Lol. Anyways point being..I don't know that point actually; I don't know where I was going with that…. Hm. Moving right along.
The next day was thanksgiving, and obviously I had no hangover cause I did not drink, but I still had major stomach pains all day and fatigue. I picked my son up early morning and took him to brunch at Denny's. A Nice little thanksgiving breakfast, just the two of us…um then rented some movies, cause I knew I'd be alone on thanksgiving and wanted something to do. Then Jacob picked up Esmond for thanksgiving dinner. He invited me over, I asked if his family would be there, he said yes so I said "then hell no". He did however bring me a nice big plate of food. Which was thoughtful of him. And I baked a cherry pie. But then after my son was gone, I sat down and watched "United 93" about the one of the 9/11 planes that crashed. Man that movie was intense and made me cry. Then I dunno..I picked up my son, came back home, and could not stop thinking about my grandparents, who I had spent every single holiday with throughout my entire youth, until they passed away my junior year in high school…not just that. It's a long story really. But I think just being alone on thanksgiving. I had never been alone, like my entire 23 years on any holiday. I always had my own family or my boyfriends/husbands so it was weird and depressing, and made me miss my family but above all my grandparents. But I could seriously not get them out of my mind, and could not stop crying. Like un-controllable crying. I have not even cried like that…in fuck I can't even remember..oh yeah the last time I cried like that is when they told me I had a tumor in my right ovary and if it was cancerous and spread they would have to remove it and possibly my baby and entire uterus (I was 4 months pregnant). Anyways then my son wandered in the room, hugged me, took my head in his arms and told me to stop crying that "it's gonna be alright mommy". So I stopped. But overall, it was a sucky night. I needed a distraction, but was far too lazy and out of it and blah to put forth any real effort in getting one. I am glad my brother-in-law will be in town for Christmas. I'm going to try and spend most of the day with him and my nephews, I definitely don't want Christmas to be anywhere near my thanksgiving..um
Oh then Friday Jacob and I took esmond to the Zoo. It was an okay time. This time I got to see the tigers 8). Afterwards went shopping, then got dressed to meet Erika and Jacky at the tavern. My stomach was still kind of iffy so I didn't drink all that much. Just got a buzz. It was so damn crowded, but still we had fun. Went to Denny's afterwards and saw Tyreese. Tyreese as in the singer/model/actor. It was funny cause he only had one bodyguard and the bodyguard was smaller then him lol. He wasn't that small, but he was maybe like my height or something, and as far as bodyguards go I think that's pretty lame. He was also with 4 girls. It was just odd; we were like, what the hell is Tyreese doing in P.B at Denny's at 2:30 in the morning? It was whatever though we just kept eating. The people across from us were being so obnoxious about it though, yelling and singing his songs, trying to get his attention. It's like dude just shut up and let the man eat. He's just a fuckin person. But I shouldn't even talk cause if that was some one like Arod, I would have ended up being arresting for attempted rape or something Lol. Ah anyways. That was my Friday.
Saturday was okay, kind of lounged around the house all day then at night had a "date". Which was weird cause we went to a club for our first date. Actually the same place I went to Wednesday I went on Saturday with him. It was way too crowded and hot and hard to dance being so close to so many fucking people. I don't think I will be going there again. I mean Wednesday was cool cause both rooms were hip-hop so neither one was over packed. But Saturday it wasn't like that. Plus I was tired and drained and felt sick, I didn't even want to go at all. But I made plans, and I will not flake if I've made plans with someone, unless something out of my control comes up…but anyways it was the first time I'd had a date at a nightclub. And I must say I have a much better time when I go out with my girls. So we decided next time we'll do something "normal" like dinner and a movie. Then when I was getting ready I was curling the ends of my hair and I was done with exactly the left side of my head, when my curling iron decided to collapse and break on me! I was like fuck! It was too late to go to the store and get a replacement, and I looked like an idiot with half my head curled. But after careful time and precision I was able to curl the rest with the broken curling iron. Was surprised I didn't burn myself. In fact I just did burn myself last week. That was totally my fault though. I tend to dance a lot when I get dressed and do my hair, and the iron slipped while I was doing so and left a big ugly burn on my chest. But of course lesson not learned cause I still dance when doing my hair.
And my Sunday- My Sunday I was a hermit all day. I did not leave my house a single time the entire day. I stayed in and watched the game, then Grease, then watched I heart huckabees. Which is my all-time favorite movie. It makes me laugh every time I see it, and usually always lifts my mood. Also I cooked! I made a bunch of pasta salad, and then chicken adodo then slow cooked a roast, so I can shred the beef and use it for tostadas all week. My goal is not spend any more money on food, so I made enough chicken adobo, pasta, and beef to last me all week. Then I read my two books. I am reading The Red Tent and also The World According to Garp. I like them both but am hooked on The world according to Garp. I read for like 3 hours last night. I have not actually read a book since…. February, so my eyes are not in the best of shape for reading, but they'll get used to it again.
I don't know if it was just because I was sick last week, but I kinda felt burnt out on the whole party scene. Like over it. So I think I'm gonna chill for a while. Just start reading again and dating more. I kind of threw the whole dating thing out the window once I started partying. I didn't have time for it. I'll still do P.B on Tuesday's and maybe decco's every other Saturday or something…but I think I'm gonna relax for a bit…then again next week I might feel the opposite. I can never trust my own feelings, they change so quickly...And today it's raining and cold, a perfect day to curl up with a blanket and read...anyways I leave you with a quote from my book-
"In this dirty-minded world, she thought, you are either somebody's wife or somebody's whore-or fast on your way to becoming one or the other. If you don't fit either category, then everyone tries to make you think there is something wrong with you. But, she thought, there is nothing wrong with me."