(no subject)
Holy shit, life.
I am so fucking grateful for the amazing, beautiful, healthy, loving relationship I have been in for the past year+. The love I have for West and the love he has for me goes beyond anything I have ever experienced in my whole life.
So fucking hilarious. Or maybe it isn't, I don't know. Basically I just found out that my ex (why am I even saying "my ex"?! this is my fucking and his name is already plastered on this thing from when we were together. who knows?!) from a couple years ago (my ex that I was with for three years, my ex who was my best friend at the time's ex, my ex who is 28 years old and lives at home with no job) is now dating his sister's best friend (who is at most 22). Now I realize that all of these parentheses are really passive aggressive, but I'm trying not to be judgmental. Really what I am trying to state, is how happy I am that I was able to leave that toxic relationship with that person who was so utterly not right for me. We might still be together (or have killed each other by now) if I was still using and drinking.
I have been worried about my future/present for a little while now because I am just recently unemployed and am going to start looking for places to move to without any idea of where or a source of reliable income. I have been worried about what kind of life West and I are going to have together (if we stay together, which I really hope we do because as written above, our love is silly good), what choices I should be making for the life I want to have, what kind of life to I want to have. But then, I hear this bit of info that is really an echo of what my life had once been. I realize that so much has changed in the last 828 days and I am blown away by the gifts I have received. My life is blessed and I thank my HP that I didn't give up before the miracle.
I am so fucking grateful for the amazing, beautiful, healthy, loving relationship I have been in for the past year+. The love I have for West and the love he has for me goes beyond anything I have ever experienced in my whole life.
So fucking hilarious. Or maybe it isn't, I don't know. Basically I just found out that my ex (why am I even saying "my ex"?! this is my fucking and his name is already plastered on this thing from when we were together. who knows?!) from a couple years ago (my ex that I was with for three years, my ex who was my best friend at the time's ex, my ex who is 28 years old and lives at home with no job) is now dating his sister's best friend (who is at most 22). Now I realize that all of these parentheses are really passive aggressive, but I'm trying not to be judgmental. Really what I am trying to state, is how happy I am that I was able to leave that toxic relationship with that person who was so utterly not right for me. We might still be together (or have killed each other by now) if I was still using and drinking.
I have been worried about my future/present for a little while now because I am just recently unemployed and am going to start looking for places to move to without any idea of where or a source of reliable income. I have been worried about what kind of life West and I are going to have together (if we stay together, which I really hope we do because as written above, our love is silly good), what choices I should be making for the life I want to have, what kind of life to I want to have. But then, I hear this bit of info that is really an echo of what my life had once been. I realize that so much has changed in the last 828 days and I am blown away by the gifts I have received. My life is blessed and I thank my HP that I didn't give up before the miracle.