(no subject)

[oliphont]

Things are pretty good right now.  I officially no longer work for my job that I have had for almost two years.  I'm not in school anymore.  I really have no true direction actually.  It's mildly terrifying but also exhilarating because I can do anything.  I am supposed to find a job and start looking for houses with Nisey and Liz, but I am more inclined to run away to California for a while.  I think I am only feeling that way because I haven't actually followed through with any really goal/plan for many years, and the fact that moving out is fast approaching is terrifying to me.  Also, I don't want to feel tied down in a relationship and then regret things when I'm an old mama.  Basically I don't want to turn into my mama.  Don't get me wrong, she is amazing and wonderful, but she is always saying how she wishes her life were different and that she wasn't afraid to do things and blahblahblah.  Even though of course she lives in a great place with a beautiful garden, a loving family, and a good job.  Maybe she just doesn't value these things.

whatever.

Maybe I need to put AA at the center of my life and then everything else will fall into place.  That's what everyone else keeps saying.