(no subject)
I am feeling really really odd. In my journal this morning I was talking about what coffee does to me. I was saying I was getting a lot of work done until I had the coffee. But I was hungry and was doing physical stuff, so I got some coffee, then got some greens. I forgot to say how good coffee is for me in other ways. Also that I can't quit it all at once without getting the headache. And I've tried. I just start again.
It seems like in January some years, I've wanted to quit, just leave off it permanently. But it always creeps back up on me.
I just get wired and start doing things that distract me. Someone at schizofriends posted foods/substances they no longer have in their routine, that it helps to keep the disease at bay. I had what seems like an episode this morning, feeling like I was going to totally screw up/go to hell/ whatever, such fear. All over brothers and the time limit for cleaning up my room for the electrician and exterminators. It is a day when I feel sort of cornered. But actually seeing a bedbug and killing it made me wake up and I was not indulging in that worry anymore, when it seems like I could have and had some inclination to. I liked the instinct to clean up and just throw stuff out much better.
In other news, I posted at ONTD in an item about Linda Lovelace. There is one person who keeps saying that hardly any porn acrtesses were sexually abused as children. I wonder how old this person is and why they need approval so badly.
It seems like in January some years, I've wanted to quit, just leave off it permanently. But it always creeps back up on me.
I just get wired and start doing things that distract me. Someone at schizofriends posted foods/substances they no longer have in their routine, that it helps to keep the disease at bay. I had what seems like an episode this morning, feeling like I was going to totally screw up/go to hell/ whatever, such fear. All over brothers and the time limit for cleaning up my room for the electrician and exterminators. It is a day when I feel sort of cornered. But actually seeing a bedbug and killing it made me wake up and I was not indulging in that worry anymore, when it seems like I could have and had some inclination to. I liked the instinct to clean up and just throw stuff out much better.
In other news, I posted at ONTD in an item about Linda Lovelace. There is one person who keeps saying that hardly any porn acrtesses were sexually abused as children. I wonder how old this person is and why they need approval so badly.