Introspection
This may be a little too deep for some... maybe a little uncomfortable, so maybe not the post to read.
I've been working on this project at work for little over month and finally arrived at the point of deployment. Our lead tech, a good enough sort, has me do a last minute walk-through with him and finds one area he'd do differently. This being on the verge of deployment, I was understandably upset... and defensive. We took our case to the Project Manager, who attempted a "split-the-baby-in-half" solution... so that neither of our egos would be bruised.
I argued that if his solution would work and he could show me before we could get the project fully deployed, I'd be happy to change my code. Fortunately for him, the deployment was held up, and he managed to prove me wrong. His version of code worked slightly better than mine.
In his defense, the door was left open that I could easily forestall his change until the next phase of development... meaning next year.
However, I felt to do so would be petty and therefore decided to delay deployment a week or so until I could include his change.
On the ride home, I felt angry. I'm not sure why.
I was proven wrong... am I really such a petty, small minded person to let something like this get under my skin?
If the lead tech was an arrogant asshole, I could understand my feelings of anger... but he isn't. He's actually very humble to some degree.
Yes, one could argue that him waiting until the last minute probably had a lot to do with it... and that is probably the reason why the Project Manager had a separate, private conversation with him after our meeting.
But, let's be honest: I'm mad because I was proven wrong. Period.
And it's not that I've never been wrong and haven't been big enough to admit it.
This was different.
I did a lot of work and research, in a very short time, to come up with the code that I used... it just so happened I went in a wrong direction on one part.
I could justify my feelings by saying, "you know, I take a lot of pride in my work... why should I apologize for that?"
But that would be cheap and too easy.
No, I was just wrong and, the truth is, I *am* being petty.
I have to keep that in mind... always.
Otherewise, I'll never grow as person.
Cheers.
I've been working on this project at work for little over month and finally arrived at the point of deployment. Our lead tech, a good enough sort, has me do a last minute walk-through with him and finds one area he'd do differently. This being on the verge of deployment, I was understandably upset... and defensive. We took our case to the Project Manager, who attempted a "split-the-baby-in-half" solution... so that neither of our egos would be bruised.
I argued that if his solution would work and he could show me before we could get the project fully deployed, I'd be happy to change my code. Fortunately for him, the deployment was held up, and he managed to prove me wrong. His version of code worked slightly better than mine.
In his defense, the door was left open that I could easily forestall his change until the next phase of development... meaning next year.
However, I felt to do so would be petty and therefore decided to delay deployment a week or so until I could include his change.
On the ride home, I felt angry. I'm not sure why.
I was proven wrong... am I really such a petty, small minded person to let something like this get under my skin?
If the lead tech was an arrogant asshole, I could understand my feelings of anger... but he isn't. He's actually very humble to some degree.
Yes, one could argue that him waiting until the last minute probably had a lot to do with it... and that is probably the reason why the Project Manager had a separate, private conversation with him after our meeting.
But, let's be honest: I'm mad because I was proven wrong. Period.
And it's not that I've never been wrong and haven't been big enough to admit it.
This was different.
I did a lot of work and research, in a very short time, to come up with the code that I used... it just so happened I went in a wrong direction on one part.
I could justify my feelings by saying, "you know, I take a lot of pride in my work... why should I apologize for that?"
But that would be cheap and too easy.
No, I was just wrong and, the truth is, I *am* being petty.
I have to keep that in mind... always.
Otherewise, I'll never grow as person.
Cheers.