okiraku2 - '08 winter
I Feel Like I Haven't Been "Parting" Properly
I realized something recently. I might not be very good at saying goodbye to people. I don't like it when things are gloomy, so I've always made light of it and covered up how I really feel. With friends, with lovers, even when dramas come to an end. From their perspective, it must have seemed like a rude way to end things. I mean, it's graduation season right now. When it's time to part, it's the last impression you'll leave on that person, so you have to do it properly. Partings are important. Otherwise, we can't continue on forward. We can't live our lives if we stay standing still. That was deep. "Can't live our lives..."
Heh heh, you're probably thinking, "Why so serious all of a sudden, Tsuyoshi-kun?" It's spring, but it's still cold, so sometimes I get despondent and start thinking about all kinds of things. Right now I'm incredibly busy with a drama, but because my head is spinning from that, there's a part of me that's watching everything calmly at unexpected moments. There's no time to think about distractions, and because of that I get all the more honest with myself. I can't put on a pretense. I even complain, saying what I don't like or what's too hard. But I accept that part of myself. That's probably the capacity I have as a person right now. I can only change bit by bit within that capacity.
I don't think that's a bad thing, though. After all, I'm running full speed right now. In "Ryokiteki na kanojo" ('08 TBS). From morning to late night with Tanaka Rena-chan, feeling like "We really played hard today!" Every day, it's like we're kids playing until our batteries run out. No matter how much they film, they can't film enough. Even if I could make eight more of me, it still wouldn't be enough (laugh). From historical reenactment to dropping out of a helicopter to aerial filming on a giant boat to stuffing ourselves full of tangerines and sea urchin rice bowls to playing squash and getting sea urchins thrown at me... you must be wondering, what kind of drama is this? But as tough as it is, it makes me all the more honest when it comes to acting. I can laugh and cry, and film good scenes.
And, although I didn't realize it myself, I'm an incredibly energetic person in situations like this. I can remember lines I've only read once. Even in long scenes. So much you'd think I'm a genius. If I'm this sharp, how come I couldn't study in elementary school? (laugh) Physically, too, I just need a little sleep and I'm A-OK, completely normal. Since I don't want to make people worry, I sometimes pretend to be sleepy. When I do that, Rena-chan is nice to me, rubbing my shoulders and giving me chocolate... so cute! Yikes. I might fall for her just like my role. Ahaha, she's got me completely in the palm of her hand (laugh).
I don't know what my schedule ahead looks like yet. After the drama, I'll do the stageplay "Mabuta no haha," but I don't really even know when that is. It's all on a day-by-day scale, and aside from the fact I'll get up at 5:30 tomorrow morning, speaking broadly, I don't know how many scenes we'll do or how long it will take. One can't help but wonder what's coming up next. But right now, I just want to focus on this moment. I want to keep going to the end of filming, building up moment upon moment. That's the way I do things.
I realized something recently. I might not be very good at saying goodbye to people. I don't like it when things are gloomy, so I've always made light of it and covered up how I really feel. With friends, with lovers, even when dramas come to an end. From their perspective, it must have seemed like a rude way to end things. I mean, it's graduation season right now. When it's time to part, it's the last impression you'll leave on that person, so you have to do it properly. Partings are important. Otherwise, we can't continue on forward. We can't live our lives if we stay standing still. That was deep. "Can't live our lives..."
Heh heh, you're probably thinking, "Why so serious all of a sudden, Tsuyoshi-kun?" It's spring, but it's still cold, so sometimes I get despondent and start thinking about all kinds of things. Right now I'm incredibly busy with a drama, but because my head is spinning from that, there's a part of me that's watching everything calmly at unexpected moments. There's no time to think about distractions, and because of that I get all the more honest with myself. I can't put on a pretense. I even complain, saying what I don't like or what's too hard. But I accept that part of myself. That's probably the capacity I have as a person right now. I can only change bit by bit within that capacity.
I don't think that's a bad thing, though. After all, I'm running full speed right now. In "Ryokiteki na kanojo" ('08 TBS). From morning to late night with Tanaka Rena-chan, feeling like "We really played hard today!" Every day, it's like we're kids playing until our batteries run out. No matter how much they film, they can't film enough. Even if I could make eight more of me, it still wouldn't be enough (laugh). From historical reenactment to dropping out of a helicopter to aerial filming on a giant boat to stuffing ourselves full of tangerines and sea urchin rice bowls to playing squash and getting sea urchins thrown at me... you must be wondering, what kind of drama is this? But as tough as it is, it makes me all the more honest when it comes to acting. I can laugh and cry, and film good scenes.
And, although I didn't realize it myself, I'm an incredibly energetic person in situations like this. I can remember lines I've only read once. Even in long scenes. So much you'd think I'm a genius. If I'm this sharp, how come I couldn't study in elementary school? (laugh) Physically, too, I just need a little sleep and I'm A-OK, completely normal. Since I don't want to make people worry, I sometimes pretend to be sleepy. When I do that, Rena-chan is nice to me, rubbing my shoulders and giving me chocolate... so cute! Yikes. I might fall for her just like my role. Ahaha, she's got me completely in the palm of her hand (laugh).
I don't know what my schedule ahead looks like yet. After the drama, I'll do the stageplay "Mabuta no haha," but I don't really even know when that is. It's all on a day-by-day scale, and aside from the fact I'll get up at 5:30 tomorrow morning, speaking broadly, I don't know how many scenes we'll do or how long it will take. One can't help but wonder what's coming up next. But right now, I just want to focus on this moment. I want to keep going to the end of filming, building up moment upon moment. That's the way I do things.