let's add to the list. hooray.

[ohsotypical]

so. last night. i went out for drinks with patricia, tyler, mary ellen (the old lady that comes in for strawberry ice cream every day.), jessa (she's back from columbia <3), shannon (jessa's ex-girlfriend), and drew (what a nice man). they all decided to go out to caribbean something, some restaurant on olive, and have some more drinks. i just went home. after a few hours, ryan and i hear a knock at the door. it's tyler. and he's drunk. i won't go into much detail. but there was about a half hour, maybe an hour of him making advances and me trying to convince him to go to sleep. i realized he was not going to stop trying, so i asked him to leave. i felt like it was going to somehow be blamed on me. so i called patricia. i asked her what was going on with her and tyler. she said nothing. and i asked if she had broken up with him tonight (he had said she did) and she said no. i told her she needed to talk to tyler about what had happened. she told me to tell her. i told her i wasn't in the relationship, it wasn't my responsibility; she wouldn't take no for an answer. apparently tyler had gone back to her apartment. she made me say what happened on speakerphone. tyler accused me of lying and blahblahblah. somehow after a lot of yelling between patricia, tyler, and i, i was the one at fault. she said that if i let her boyfriend in my apartment and in my room, then i was never her friend. i tried to explain to her that ryan had fallen asleep on the couch. i reminded her that every time she was at my apartment before, we had sat on my bed, as well as everyone else. it's a king size bed, it doesn't even count as one bed. she said you never let a friend's boyfriend into your apartment. i reminded her that he wasn't a friend's boyfriend, he was a friend. i had met him before i had met her, and she knew that we often hung out and usually only to discuss he and patricia's relationship. she told me that tyler and i were not friends. that i never gave a fuck about him and he never gave a fuck about me. i asked her where she would even think that. she told me this was not about what she thought. she told me that she couldn't talk to me anymore. that she couldn't have any contact with me because i am just stupid and being seventeen. i asked her how. she said i should know never to let any man near my bed because i am a little girl. she told me that if tyler wanted to have me, he would've; he's twice my size. she said then i'd be screaming rape. somehow. i lost two friends last night, one of them being a really good friend. i shouldn't have called and said anything. i was just afraid tyler would say something, and it would look like it was my fault since i didn't say anything. so i called to make sure he would own up to it. and he fervently denied it. and i looked like the one at fault. i shouldn't have said anything. he wouldn't have said anything. goddd.

dramafuckingdrama.

after all of that, we went to denny's. i saw sam up there. he came back to the apartment and played poker. it was a good time. i really miss that kid. and i feel badly for judging him poorly before. i should know better, considering how affectionate i am with everyone. we talked about linda. he mentioned my stalker post. i swear. it wasn't meant that way.