you have been warned
supposedly this whole live journal is a cathartic experience, we'll have to see about that one. I am at work right now on the internet as usual. i don't really know what to write, i am a little uncomfortable with the whole idea of a journal that my close friends and acquaintances are able to read. My life right now is composed of an odd cycle ; work, drink, sleep, work, drink, sleep, work, drink, sleep....... I think all of sleeping is making me lazy, i will have to work on that. I find that the only time i am in a truly good mood is when i am drunk. otherwise my mind is overwrought with worries over my lack of drive and accomplishment. I have so much that i want to do and i cannot seem to make anything happen. i think that i may have finally made the first step. i have just recently realized that the only thing holding me back is myself, i am the only one at fault therefore i am the only one who can rectify the situation. no one is trying to hurt me, on the contrary, my friends are the only support that i have, and they have been truly great. I find it hard to express my gratitude over their loyalty, they have cheered me up when i was depressed, poured me a beer when my glass was empty, always made an effort to include me, and put forth any number of kind gestures that have served at times as the only real joy in my life. so, if any of them happen to read this, thank you. you mean more to me than i know how to say. hopefully things will get better for me, i think i'll take a piece of well thought out advice from my surrogate mother; "if you want to do something then get of your ass and do it, nothings accomplished by sleeping all day"