ridiculous
This is fucking ridiculous, i have become so alienated, so unable to communicate in ways that don't invole me yelling and cussing that i feel the need to express myself here, on the internet, in a place where no one that knows me is likely to stumble, lest they should discover what a bitchy, whiney little child i really am.
I have had people tell me how calm, how quiet i seem, well i guess that is how i come off. at first i thought it was shyness but i am beginning to think that it may be lazyness, an unwillingness to stray from what has become my norm, that keeps me silent and calm. And let me tell you, I am one lazy bitch, community college dropout, failed girlfriend time and time again, chronic procrastinator. i have no fucking idea what i am doing with my life, my mind is just so over run with person after person telling me what potential i have, none of them realizing that potential doesn't mean shit, in this world only action matters.
I hate not knowing what i want, i dont even know if i am truly undecided about my life or if i just use that as an excuse to not set any goals or make any definitive statements. shit. i really don't know what to write any more, suffice to say that the only thing i am sure of right now is that i want a cigarette. badly.
I have had people tell me how calm, how quiet i seem, well i guess that is how i come off. at first i thought it was shyness but i am beginning to think that it may be lazyness, an unwillingness to stray from what has become my norm, that keeps me silent and calm. And let me tell you, I am one lazy bitch, community college dropout, failed girlfriend time and time again, chronic procrastinator. i have no fucking idea what i am doing with my life, my mind is just so over run with person after person telling me what potential i have, none of them realizing that potential doesn't mean shit, in this world only action matters.
I hate not knowing what i want, i dont even know if i am truly undecided about my life or if i just use that as an excuse to not set any goals or make any definitive statements. shit. i really don't know what to write any more, suffice to say that the only thing i am sure of right now is that i want a cigarette. badly.