(no subject)
The worst things that have ever come to me have not been that which has happened to me but in what has ever come through me. Likewise the best things in my life have never just been external to me but they have entered into my heart and my life so that once they've come and gone outside of me they've never left me as I am.
I'm back here in Odessa for a while just hanging out with the family and it's been really good and restful. I'm not sure about everything that is to come in my life or what I might do with myself but I think that I don't need to think about it yet too much or at all until it comes back. This is my sabbath time and if I learn how to really rest I will be at rest even when I work for what can anyone do to me that would take away from me what I've already taken from myself? What could be gained or given that would bless me more than the healing I've already had? I don't know but since God knows I'll just let myself be free as I am for I know that any place can be a prison or paradise depending on how far from Him we are and nothing can separate us from Him if we are with Him as I have no doubt I am and am becomming.
The more feeling I get back into my body the more I think about sensations like pleasure or pain and I've been thinking about the cross lately and how Jesus was put on it after having been scourged which is just about like death anyway. The more I grow close to Him the more I realize the pains and joys He spoke of and that cannot be expressed and that is a very bittersweet thing. One thing that's stuck out to me is that His going through all that was completely a choice and that one reason was so that He could teach the whole world just how much the Father loves the Son and the Son the Father and by that how they both became completely new and even closer than before. It makes my head spin sometimes.
I'm not really a man of great skill in writing or thought but because of all of the hardships I've had to face internally and externally I have developed in such areas but I'm coming to understand that we are never so smart or wise or whatever as we are in our times of testing since that's really when you know what you're made of. I don't know if I prefer being on top of things or being care free and taking no thought for my life, it's a toss up and maybe that means I need some balance and moderation there too? I dunno.
Ok, this was just a little update so see ya l8r.
I'm back here in Odessa for a while just hanging out with the family and it's been really good and restful. I'm not sure about everything that is to come in my life or what I might do with myself but I think that I don't need to think about it yet too much or at all until it comes back. This is my sabbath time and if I learn how to really rest I will be at rest even when I work for what can anyone do to me that would take away from me what I've already taken from myself? What could be gained or given that would bless me more than the healing I've already had? I don't know but since God knows I'll just let myself be free as I am for I know that any place can be a prison or paradise depending on how far from Him we are and nothing can separate us from Him if we are with Him as I have no doubt I am and am becomming.
The more feeling I get back into my body the more I think about sensations like pleasure or pain and I've been thinking about the cross lately and how Jesus was put on it after having been scourged which is just about like death anyway. The more I grow close to Him the more I realize the pains and joys He spoke of and that cannot be expressed and that is a very bittersweet thing. One thing that's stuck out to me is that His going through all that was completely a choice and that one reason was so that He could teach the whole world just how much the Father loves the Son and the Son the Father and by that how they both became completely new and even closer than before. It makes my head spin sometimes.
I'm not really a man of great skill in writing or thought but because of all of the hardships I've had to face internally and externally I have developed in such areas but I'm coming to understand that we are never so smart or wise or whatever as we are in our times of testing since that's really when you know what you're made of. I don't know if I prefer being on top of things or being care free and taking no thought for my life, it's a toss up and maybe that means I need some balance and moderation there too? I dunno.
Ok, this was just a little update so see ya l8r.