baby rant..
I am a strong, stubborn, independant, intelligent young woman, so why is it when is comes to love, and sex, I am a complete pushover. I’m begining to feel like one of those “yes dear” housewives from the 1950’s, and submissive just ain’t the way I roll. I am a woman chock full of fucking raw emotion. Why is it that I feel the need to hide it 90% of the time. I’m scared that he won’t like it..but really that’s part of who I am, and if he loves me as he says he does, then he should learn to deal with it. I know I’m a lot to handle, but he should have seen that before he stepped up to the plate here. There is no reason that I should have to supress my anger, happiness, love, rage, jealousy etc. anymore. It’s getting beyond ridiculous. Just because he doesn’t cry or yell or scream when he gets angry shouldn’t mean that I have to stop. I’m so sick, and fucking tired of saying “I’m sorry” just because I got angry, and allowed it to reer it’s ugly head a little bit. I want to be able to get pissed off without the guilt trip later on. I smother myself in guilt too often already. I hate that I’m openly being judged everytime some raw emotion seeps through my poors, and out of my lips, and then being told that I’m not open enough with my feelings. Fuck you, and talking about how you feel. Where’s the passion in talking? Why don’t you fucking yell it?