Twitter asks "What’s the lowest stakes conspiracy theory you have?"

[nutella_forever]

what’s the lowest stakes conspiracy theory you have? i think airplane mode is a hoax because they don’t want you texting your friends and telling them you’re not having fun on the plane
- soul nate (@MNateShyamalan) February 26, 2024

A twitter user asked for the "lowest stakes conspiracy theory you have?"

Some of the answers:

I think frozen was

Comments

[janetdkd]

I think cats came to rule the world from another planet but got too cuddly to care and gave up

[peddlestools]

they transmit a parasite that makes rodents and also humans affectionate toward them

like i was just thinking the other day how cats must have evolved to be perceived as irresistibly cute by humans

[janetdkd]

They know us so well and are master manipulators with their face expressions and voices

[peddlestools]

also cats only meow at each other when they're kittens so basically every time your cat meows at you, they are saying "i'm baby"

how can we resist?

[primimproper]

we cannot resist!

[kansascshuffle]

In that case I am a potential source of an antidote. I can't stand cats, everything about them annoys me.

[peddlestools]

hdu resist their programming

[xdecadentx]

Isn't this the basis of a Futurama episode?

[anyaroses]

Yup.

[aleksie]

Don't a lot of cats kind of rule us? Mine have a very cushy life

[janetdkd]

I have 2 and they absolutely rule me

[sillycucumber2]

My cat has learned to turn off my TV speaker when she wants attention. Pure evil.

[aotearoagal]

They're playing the long game.

[devopet]

So kinda related but I think whales are/were the smartest species on the planet but realized that life is better swimming in the ocean and singing songs so they just let us monkey-brains think we have it all we really have is opposable thumbs and anxiety.

[buries]

I have three cats and only one of them cuddles me. They are definitely here to rule over us, and they're way more manipulative than we give them credit for. (I stan.)

[primimproper]

I was thinking the other day (think is a strong word) that if aliens came, they’d assume humans were some kind of working grunt in service of cats. And that’s what would be in the report back to HQ. With cat photos because superior looking species.