ONTD Original: Top 20 Quotes/Lines/Dialogue Moments from Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Hello again, Lovelies!
Welcome back to another installment of the ONTD Original series: Buffy the Vampire Slayer!
This is the 7th installment in the series, and today I'm going to call out my top 20 quotes, dialogues, or lines from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Guidelines for the contenders are: there are none. (Ha!) Basically, any character can say it, and it can be any length. These are the quotes, lines, or dialogue moments that meant the most to me, made me laugh, or just stuck with me as a standout "Buffy" moment.
Disclaimer: The ranking is my opinion, and my opinion only. <3 I love commenting back and forth, and I'm absolutely open to opposing views, but please be kind and respectful to each other. These posts are bringing me such joy in the middle of intense isolation, and I truly enjoy making these posts and commenting back and forth with my fellow Buffy fans. <3. That being said, let's jump in!
[Into every generation... (20-11)]
20. Buffy: "Power. I have it. They don't. This bothers them." - S5E12
For me, this quote coming from Buffy was so powerful. After a few episodes of Buffy feeling weak, questioning her strength and ability after being beat by Glory in their interactions, she finally recognized her power. The speech she gives to the Council, the sword throwing, the confidence...it's one of my favorite scenes from the show.
19. Anya: "I, Anya, promise to love you, to cherish you, to honor you, uh, but not to obey you, of course, because that's anachronistic and misogynistic and who do you think you are, like a sea captain or something?" - S6E16
Even though Xander didn't deserve Anya, this line had me (and Tara and Willow, apparently) laughing, and stuck with me. Who do you think you are, like a sea captain or something? Hah! Anya had a few really funny lines (stay tuned), but this one was definitely one that stuck with me.
18. Buffy: "You have fruit punch mouth."
Master: "..what?" - S1E12
This moment was one of those classic Buffy moments for me. The Master thinks he's got her right where he wants her, he thinks he's got full control of the situation, and Buffy drops one of her quirky one-liners before punching him and knocking him on his ass. It makes me laugh every time I watch it, and it's one of her more memorable one-liners.
17. Cordelia: "So this isn't about you being afraid of hospitals cause your friend died and you wanna conjure up a monster that you can fight so you can save everybody and not feel so helpless?"
Giles: "Cordelia, have you actually ever heard of tact?"
Cordelia: "Tact is just not saying true stuff. I'll pass." - S2E18
This is just quintessential Cordelia Chase. Always saying what's on her mind (literally, Earshot proves this) and being unapologetic about it. I have a love/hate relationship with Cordelia, because I think she's quite possibly the only member of the OG cast that was meant to portray high school students who just didn't look like a high school student at all for me, AND she was just mean sometimes...but she was definitely relatable at times, and could bring the laughs.
16. Xander: "Am I right, Giles?"
Giles: "Almost certainly not, but to be fair, I wasn't listening." - S5E08
If you've read my previous posts, you know by now that Xander is my least favorite character. Giles is top 5. The fact that Giles was one of the shadiest in the bunch toward Xander, and had no problem casting that shade with a side of burn had me cackling. This moment, for some reason, sticks with me as one of my favorite exchanges. And the fact that Xander doesn't even respond, and Giles' sipping of tea immediately after with a smirk...*chefs kiss*
15. Buffy: "What are you doing here? Five words or less."
Spike: "Out. For. A. Walk. ....bitch." - S5E05
Spike isn't my favorite character, but I have a lot of feelings about him and why I don't "hate" him. A lot of this is controversial, and I'm definitely planning a Spike vs. Angel post, and examining the differences and my take on why they are so different. But, I digress. I'll just say: Spike's quote here cracks me up. I cackle every time.
14. Glory: "A slayer? Oh God, please don't tell me I was fighting a vampire slayer! How unbelievably common. If I had friends, and they heard about this..." - S5E06
In general, Glory is probably one of my favorites. I love her sass, her conceited nature, and how insecure she is (when Spike insults her and you can tell she's just SHOOK? hah). I don't know what it is about this line in particular, but the "...if I had friends, and they heard about this." just cracks me up every time I hear it.
13. Buffy: "Seize the moment, cause tomorrow you might be dead." - S1E01
Inspirational Buffy is the best Buffy (unless you're of the belief that season 7 had too many inspirational speeches, in which case, can't relate.) But this moment is just one of those classic Buffy Summers lines that sticks with you, you know?
12. BuffyBot: "And...Anya. How is your money?"
Anya: "Fine! Thank you for asking!" - S5E18
This exchange, with the added humor of Anya and the bullet she dodged not recognizing that it's a robot shortly after the debacle of April, just always makes me laugh. I'm not sure why this one ranked so high for me from the series as a whole, but it does.
11. Cordelia: "Willow! Nice dress. Good to know you've seen the softer side of Sears." - S1E01
Cordelia, again, is so mean. But I have to say, coming from a gay boy who was bullied through elementary, middle, and high school (me) even I have to admit this was a witty dig. Not nice, and she's still not my favorite character, but I do chuckle at this one in my re-watches.
[...a slayer is born. (10-1)]
10. Buffy: "Well, that works out great. You won't tell anyone that I'm the slayer, and I won't tell anyone that you're a moron." - S2E01
Buffy rarely fought Cordelia back in ways that caused everyone (including me) to be like, "DAMN." But this was one of them. Not to mention, a few seconds before this, she also gave us the whole, "Cordelia, your mouth is moving, sound is coming out...this is never good." Pure, evil gold.
9. Tara: "You think you know, what you are...what's to come. You haven't even begun." -S4E22
It's from Restless, one of the best episodes (minus Xander's annoying dream) and we all know I love Tara (if you've seen my other posts). I love that it's repeated at the end of the episode, and that Dracula repeats it in the next episode. You know what they say, repetition, repetition, repetition...
8. Buffy: "I may be dead...but I'm still pretty." - S1E01
I don't need to explain why this is one of my favorite lines. <3 It's funny, and it's sassy, and it's Buffy...bitch.
7. Giles: "Unbelievable. 'Do you like my mask? Isn't it pretty? It raises the dead.' Americans." - S3E02
Sassy, sarcastic Giles is the best Giles. I mean, I'd say he's probably tied with drunk Giles from the Yoko Factor. Hah. I love this moment of mocking Joyce so much. Especially after how she treated Buffy.
6. Vampire Willow: "Bored now." - S3E16
Vampire Willow is the superior Willow. Fight me. She's skanky, she's kinky, and she's bad ass. I do like Willow as a character (aside from a lot of her flaws), but Vampire Willow is SO much better. At least she's supposed to be evil *cough*regular Willow*cough*
5. Faith: "Five by five." - S3E03
Faith may have been evil for a while, and we may have never gotten an explanation of what she's referring to (five what by five what?) But seriously, I cannot tell you how many times I've used this line and been given a weird look by people who have no clue where it came from. Hah
4. Buffy: “I just want to be alone and quiet in a room with a chair and a fireplace and a tea cozy. I don’t even know what a tea cozy is, but I want one.” - S3E01
This one just makes me laugh, because I relate to it so much. I, too, have these random ideas about what 'peace and serenity' look like, and for some reason, an image of me sitting in a warm living room with a fireplace, a good book, a tea cozy, while relaxing in my pajamas is it. Either way, when I think about Buffy, this is one of the moments that I just love when it comes to her being sassy and commanding. Also, I find the more that I do these posts, that I just love season 3.
3. Buffy: "I'm Buffy, the Vampire Slayer, and you are?" - S3E01
Ok, I know. Another season 3 quote. But I have to tell you: this one is a favorite for many reasons. I won't bore you with all of them, but I have to at least say that this is the moment when Buffy decides to accept her calling. I know a lot of people saw it in the end of season 1 when she showed back up to the school, but I disagree. I think this moment was it. In season 1, she accepted her 'fate', of dying. In this scene, she accepted her calling as the slayer--something she won't run from any more. I just love this episode, and this scene.
2. Buffy: "The hardest thing in this world, is to live in it." -S5E22
Self-disclosure moment: when season 5 was airing, I was dealing with a huge amount of depression. I came out to my parents, was kicked out, and was dealing with some really heavy s*** for a 13 year old boy. This line, for me, was one of those formative moments that I didn't know I needed, and didn't realize at the time how much it would stick with me. I've found myself saying this to myself and to clients I've worked with. Truly one of my favorite moments of the show.
1. Angel: "So that's everything, huh? No weapons. No friends. No hope. Take all that away, and what's left?"
Buffy: "Me." - S2E22
I think the majority of ONTD Buffy fans agree with me here, when I say this was one of the most bad ass moments in the entire series for Ms. Summers. Much like the overshare in the description of #2, this moment gave me so much inspiration and has helped me deal with some insanely dark, difficult times in my life. In the absence of all things good, in the moments I feel the most alone and hopeless, it's comforting to think of the words of the great Buffy Summers, and to remember that when there's nothing else, I still have me.
So, ONTD: what are some of your favorite moments in the show? Are there any on here that you think don't belong? Are there any you're livid aren't on here? Sound off in the comments! And please let me know if you have any ideas for a post you'd like to see!
Also, if you're interested in seeing the first 6 posts:
Post 1: Ranking 'Series Regular' Buffy the Vampire Slayer Characters
Post 2: Top 10 Buffy the Vampire Slayer 'Hellmouth' Metaphors for Real Life Struggles
Post 3: Buffy the Vampire Slayer: In Defense of Season 6
Post 4: Top 10 Buffy the Vampire Slayer Episodes to Fight 2021
Post 5: The Fashion of Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Post 6: Character "Best and Worst Moments" from Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Sources: My brain, 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21