Figuring out how to change

[ohka15]

As I discussed in some detail with my friend Yumi tonight, I don't know how to change well. How do others feel confident to do things that they have never done before or meet people who they don't really know at all? Is it through their own confidence as a person? If so, I guess that is difficult for me to do. I don't really know how to like myself still very well and find myself unattractive, and Yumi has learned that I have developed a lot of hopelessness when it comes to my personal life and sexual life as well.

I always appreciate it when she takes time to talk with me about these issues like my body, transition, and relationships. I feel bad that I have not shown more progress as a person. She takes the time to talk in depth with me about these issues that bother me, and I am grateful for her help. Everything is so tiring at times.

I guess it is time to go to bed.