#033 - Hit Or Miss
#033 - Hit Or Miss
It has become very apparent to me in my 28 years of existence, that life holds no constant truths, except for old age, paying taxes, and death. Everything else in life is very hot or miss. We all have experienced these times in our lives, where the expected suddenly is unexpected. In this blog I will explore further the hit or miss theory.
#5- PHONE CUSTOMER SERVICE: I know what you all are thinking. When does customer service actually “hit”. It really does on occasion. I would say about 33% of the time it hits. A hit in this arena is A) NOT being asked if you want English or Spanish at the beginning of the call. B) A wait time of under a minute to speak with a customer service person (not a damned computer). C) Actually being able to understand said caller upon speaking with them. D) Actually getting the issue resolved. There are plenty of factors that are involved with this means of service, that is why it is so low on my top 5 list. So many things can go wrong to make the whole experience a miss.
#4- VACTION SELECTION: Everyone loves a beach, everyone loves an ocean, everyone loves an overstuffed mouse with huge ears. Yet vacation destination selection can be VERY hit or miss if you step outside the box. I like to refer to this hit or miss theory as the “Wally World Theory”. Just like the beginning of the National Lampoon’s Vacation movie, Wally World is not a bad idea. Yet if you choose the wrong means of getting there (like cross country in a station wagon WOODY) disaster can ensue. Also, no matter how wonderful the worlds largest ball of twine sounds, it really cant be that great. The same goes with a 6 story basket in Licking County. I wish the Jolly Green Giant and Sprout would get on their horse and finally come pick that hunk of junk UP!
#3- USED CAR PURCHASES: Reminder to anyone who is missing any portion of their brain. A used car salesman will tell you ANYTHING to get that car off of the lot. I PROMISE you he will. I will go again with the 33% rule. 33% of the time, you are actually getting a good older model car that has never been in an accident and is cherry for its age and wear and tear. The other 1/3 of the time, your getting a car which you can take on a test drive for 3 days, then the duct tape that the used car mechanic (and I use that word loosely) used to hold the rear axel together finally snaps, and your stuck with an unintentional low rider that just cost you 2000 dollars to buy, and an additional 3000 dollars to actually FIX!
#2- EMPLOYEES WHO ACTUALLY WORK: Working as a AKM at a restaurant, I got to hire, fire and analyze people. Let me tell you, if the youth of America has no bigger aspirations than some of the 16-24 year olds that walked through the doors of the place I worked at, we might as well pack it in because we are SCREWED folks! I don’t care if you have been smoking since the instant you got out of the womb, there is no need to take 4 smoke breaks in an hour. There is also no reason that you can’t work an 8 hour shift, most of the rest of America does…so why cant you. I’ll actually place this one under a 50% margin. You actually have some good, non smoking, hard working kids out there, they just don’t want to work with the losers who don’t want to work.
#1- DRIVE THRU WINDOW SERVICE: This is maybe my biggest pet peeve of all time.
ME: I would like 2 Double Cheeseburgers, and a Dollar Fry.
THEM: Would you like a drink with that?
ME: Would you like to get strangled when I get to the 1st window?
Seriously, what the hell. If I wanted a drink with it, I would have asked for a drink. THAT isn’t even the worst of it though. When you get to that second window one of 3 things happen.
-You get your order correctly and your on with your day (50%)
-You get your order, but when you finally look at the food they gave you after your already 20 minutes away, you realize it’s the wrong food, and your now eating a plain hamburger with no bun and a Tofu stick. (30%)
- Can you please pull forward sir. (20%) Are you trying to tell me that the cross eyed Jr High drop out on the fry machine forgot to drop her last basket of fries? Was she busy nursing her kid in the break room or WHAT!? Do I want to pull forward…HELL NO, will I pull forward…yes…because I already gave my 3 dollars at the 1st window, and there is no way of me getting it back now! Communists!
So in conclusion life has many hit or miss situations. I’m sure you will think of more. If so comment and add them to the hit or miss list!
QUESTION OF THE DAY
Should I be scared if I find a bone shard in my hot dog? That is a sign that it is real meat from real animals with real bones right??
It has become very apparent to me in my 28 years of existence, that life holds no constant truths, except for old age, paying taxes, and death. Everything else in life is very hot or miss. We all have experienced these times in our lives, where the expected suddenly is unexpected. In this blog I will explore further the hit or miss theory.
#5- PHONE CUSTOMER SERVICE: I know what you all are thinking. When does customer service actually “hit”. It really does on occasion. I would say about 33% of the time it hits. A hit in this arena is A) NOT being asked if you want English or Spanish at the beginning of the call. B) A wait time of under a minute to speak with a customer service person (not a damned computer). C) Actually being able to understand said caller upon speaking with them. D) Actually getting the issue resolved. There are plenty of factors that are involved with this means of service, that is why it is so low on my top 5 list. So many things can go wrong to make the whole experience a miss.
#4- VACTION SELECTION: Everyone loves a beach, everyone loves an ocean, everyone loves an overstuffed mouse with huge ears. Yet vacation destination selection can be VERY hit or miss if you step outside the box. I like to refer to this hit or miss theory as the “Wally World Theory”. Just like the beginning of the National Lampoon’s Vacation movie, Wally World is not a bad idea. Yet if you choose the wrong means of getting there (like cross country in a station wagon WOODY) disaster can ensue. Also, no matter how wonderful the worlds largest ball of twine sounds, it really cant be that great. The same goes with a 6 story basket in Licking County. I wish the Jolly Green Giant and Sprout would get on their horse and finally come pick that hunk of junk UP!
#3- USED CAR PURCHASES: Reminder to anyone who is missing any portion of their brain. A used car salesman will tell you ANYTHING to get that car off of the lot. I PROMISE you he will. I will go again with the 33% rule. 33% of the time, you are actually getting a good older model car that has never been in an accident and is cherry for its age and wear and tear. The other 1/3 of the time, your getting a car which you can take on a test drive for 3 days, then the duct tape that the used car mechanic (and I use that word loosely) used to hold the rear axel together finally snaps, and your stuck with an unintentional low rider that just cost you 2000 dollars to buy, and an additional 3000 dollars to actually FIX!
#2- EMPLOYEES WHO ACTUALLY WORK: Working as a AKM at a restaurant, I got to hire, fire and analyze people. Let me tell you, if the youth of America has no bigger aspirations than some of the 16-24 year olds that walked through the doors of the place I worked at, we might as well pack it in because we are SCREWED folks! I don’t care if you have been smoking since the instant you got out of the womb, there is no need to take 4 smoke breaks in an hour. There is also no reason that you can’t work an 8 hour shift, most of the rest of America does…so why cant you. I’ll actually place this one under a 50% margin. You actually have some good, non smoking, hard working kids out there, they just don’t want to work with the losers who don’t want to work.
#1- DRIVE THRU WINDOW SERVICE: This is maybe my biggest pet peeve of all time.
ME: I would like 2 Double Cheeseburgers, and a Dollar Fry.
THEM: Would you like a drink with that?
ME: Would you like to get strangled when I get to the 1st window?
Seriously, what the hell. If I wanted a drink with it, I would have asked for a drink. THAT isn’t even the worst of it though. When you get to that second window one of 3 things happen.
-You get your order correctly and your on with your day (50%)
-You get your order, but when you finally look at the food they gave you after your already 20 minutes away, you realize it’s the wrong food, and your now eating a plain hamburger with no bun and a Tofu stick. (30%)
- Can you please pull forward sir. (20%) Are you trying to tell me that the cross eyed Jr High drop out on the fry machine forgot to drop her last basket of fries? Was she busy nursing her kid in the break room or WHAT!? Do I want to pull forward…HELL NO, will I pull forward…yes…because I already gave my 3 dollars at the 1st window, and there is no way of me getting it back now! Communists!
So in conclusion life has many hit or miss situations. I’m sure you will think of more. If so comment and add them to the hit or miss list!
QUESTION OF THE DAY
Should I be scared if I find a bone shard in my hot dog? That is a sign that it is real meat from real animals with real bones right??