[Fiction] Used to Be
Title: Used to Be
Author: Lollobrigida
Fandom: Supernatural
Pairing: Dean and Sam
Rating: R
Words: 692
Prompt: Virginity
Each time he lets go of the bottle of beer his fingers run across each other, the condensation spreading thin across the skin and evaporating in the heat of the bar. Even though he's legal age by a few years it's still been a year since the last time he was carded, and he's certain it's more in the way he orders the alcohol instead of the way he looks on the outside. His face betrays him regardless, either too young from the grin that is always more of a smirk, or the age in his eyes from the countless things he's seen that he knows he hasn't got the time to rationalize.
Another rub of his fingertips against his palm and the empty bottle is resting on an uneven edge of a coaster, tempting his elbow to just knock it to the ground. The girl that's been staring at him since he sat down would pick it up, he's sure of it. Toss a name, her hair over the shoulder, routine that he's seen a thousand times play out before him. Timing is always a factor, and he knows it more times than he wants to admit to. Pressed up against walls in dingy bathrooms with hands keeping his appendages company, until he notices something he shouldn't... a curse muttered beneath his breath and he's got to leave her slack jawed and handsy in the bathroom.
It used to be easier, even in the very beginning... even the first time it was a hell of a lot easier than this was. Back then he was focused, he was the one that was overly handsy exploring every inch of flesh as if it was something he was afraid of forgetting. Memorizing contours of curves, idly tracing against skin watching the surface goose up under his touch. Every inch of him reacted, and it seemed fluid... endless.
Over almost before it started, and even the actual event wasn't worth timing. For him in that moment though it wasn't about the act, about that moment of penetration, because it seemed trivial. It was the hunt of it all. The way he watched her across the room for an hour before she walked over to him. The brush of his knee against her hip casually pulling her closer to him without her even knowing it. The confidence he showed her might have given her the impression that he was ready for everything she wanted to show him, but when it came down to it... she barely realized the truth of it all.
He made up for the effort, parched mouth dragging across the dampness of sweaty skin, taking in mouthfuls where he could. The hands that memorized details before used sense memory finding all those places with ease, knowing that he'd draw on that skill for years to come.
A steady pulse that echoed in his ears loud and deep became muted as it all slowed down around him. His gaze caught sight of her lips parting, sunlight catching in the humidity of the room, with specks of dust simply making time seem to still. All part of that moment he'd keep with him... part of that memory of a first time that would never be the last.
As his eyes wander across the bar to that blonde eager to pick up anything he might drop off the edge of the bar, his mind snaps back to attention, out of the haze of what had seemed so long ago, but tasted so sweet atop a sticky remnant of beer against his wrist, licked clean off as he passed the ten spot to the bartender. It's always easy to walk away now... he knows exactly what he's missing out on, and he knows it's never going to be the same, because knowing the truth... knowing just what else is out there it makes those fleeting moments of raw connection just that...
A connection in the night, and one that in the morning will be long forgotten along with names and faces... because he knows he'll never have something good enough to replace those first memories of her taste.
Author: Lollobrigida
Fandom: Supernatural
Pairing: Dean and Sam
Rating: R
Words: 692
Prompt: Virginity
Each time he lets go of the bottle of beer his fingers run across each other, the condensation spreading thin across the skin and evaporating in the heat of the bar. Even though he's legal age by a few years it's still been a year since the last time he was carded, and he's certain it's more in the way he orders the alcohol instead of the way he looks on the outside. His face betrays him regardless, either too young from the grin that is always more of a smirk, or the age in his eyes from the countless things he's seen that he knows he hasn't got the time to rationalize.
Another rub of his fingertips against his palm and the empty bottle is resting on an uneven edge of a coaster, tempting his elbow to just knock it to the ground. The girl that's been staring at him since he sat down would pick it up, he's sure of it. Toss a name, her hair over the shoulder, routine that he's seen a thousand times play out before him. Timing is always a factor, and he knows it more times than he wants to admit to. Pressed up against walls in dingy bathrooms with hands keeping his appendages company, until he notices something he shouldn't... a curse muttered beneath his breath and he's got to leave her slack jawed and handsy in the bathroom.
It used to be easier, even in the very beginning... even the first time it was a hell of a lot easier than this was. Back then he was focused, he was the one that was overly handsy exploring every inch of flesh as if it was something he was afraid of forgetting. Memorizing contours of curves, idly tracing against skin watching the surface goose up under his touch. Every inch of him reacted, and it seemed fluid... endless.
Over almost before it started, and even the actual event wasn't worth timing. For him in that moment though it wasn't about the act, about that moment of penetration, because it seemed trivial. It was the hunt of it all. The way he watched her across the room for an hour before she walked over to him. The brush of his knee against her hip casually pulling her closer to him without her even knowing it. The confidence he showed her might have given her the impression that he was ready for everything she wanted to show him, but when it came down to it... she barely realized the truth of it all.
He made up for the effort, parched mouth dragging across the dampness of sweaty skin, taking in mouthfuls where he could. The hands that memorized details before used sense memory finding all those places with ease, knowing that he'd draw on that skill for years to come.
A steady pulse that echoed in his ears loud and deep became muted as it all slowed down around him. His gaze caught sight of her lips parting, sunlight catching in the humidity of the room, with specks of dust simply making time seem to still. All part of that moment he'd keep with him... part of that memory of a first time that would never be the last.
As his eyes wander across the bar to that blonde eager to pick up anything he might drop off the edge of the bar, his mind snaps back to attention, out of the haze of what had seemed so long ago, but tasted so sweet atop a sticky remnant of beer against his wrist, licked clean off as he passed the ten spot to the bartender. It's always easy to walk away now... he knows exactly what he's missing out on, and he knows it's never going to be the same, because knowing the truth... knowing just what else is out there it makes those fleeting moments of raw connection just that...
A connection in the night, and one that in the morning will be long forgotten along with names and faces... because he knows he'll never have something good enough to replace those first memories of her taste.