I have been away for such a long time & yet still here. Held tight by the same old problems. How are you all?

Freedom is close, so close I can take it in my arms.

"Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should."
-Max Ehrmann, Desiderata

& you sit just on the edges of my dreams. My subconscious says that you want to kiss me but when I find you my mouth is full of broken glass.

I can feel your hip against mine in the darkness, just for that one night.

new year's day spent all tangled up
hello, hello & a quiet goodbye.
your hands on my skin,
your smell in my clothing,
but still you won't come back to me.

all my lovers are actors. the summer bedsheets stick to my skin, stopping my breath and holding me static ( Read more... )

I run through the streets barefoot & calling your name.
& it's raining. It has been for days. The streets shine golden in the evening sun, the world takes ragged breaths & still I cannot find you.

My limbs are heavy like my heart ( Read more... )

I have been to so many things that have ended with the words 'forever'. So many people wanting to cling to a summer, a fortnight, an afternoon for the rest of their lives.

& where are they?
where the fuck are they?They're gone. Forever means nothing, really. Not once you've washed the smoke from your clothes and painted over the chips in ( Read more... )

so, this. 23 & drinking neat vodka from a glass i took from a bar nearly a lifetime ago.

today will run into tomorrow, and into next week. there is a maze of them stretching right out into the sky like the runaway tail of a childhood kite & each one is only fractionally different from all the others.

leaving is not enough; you must ( Read more... )