207.
school is good. my friends are good. everything should be okay. everything would be great, if i wasn't so fucking stupid sometimes. i have everything. why do i have to even consider letting myself feel something for someone who i know is wrong for me. i know that he only wants one thing from me, and that i shouldn't talk to him. and i shouldn't text him back, and i should just stop thinking about him. it's been a long time, and i still can't not feeling something for him. even a little something. i feel nothing, and i'm happy. and then something reminds me of him, or he texts me, and i get nervous and scared and i say things i shouldn't say. and it scares me to think that i can't let him go. it makes me want to cry, even just thinking about him and me and everything. it's so hard. i don't know how to shake this. i've never felt this way, about any other guy in my life. and i don't know why i'm so stuck. i've met someone better. i've met someone better for me, and better for my life. and someone who probably wants more from me. but i still feel for him. i can't figure out how to make this go away. i can't ignore him. it makes me feel bad, and it makes me think he'll be upset. and i shouldn't even care what he thinks. i should just stay away. i want so much just to tell him to come over tomorrow and to do what i know is wrong. but i know, that it's not right, it's not smart, and it's going to hurt more than just me. so i won't. but i'm still thinking about him. that's wrong, and it needs to change. but i can't figure out how to it.