(no subject)
Hello.
You'd think that blogging about your life would be easy...since, you know, it's your life. So why does it take me half an hour to think of what to say?
It's hard to write my thoughts...since I've never really been that great at communicating. So many thoughts run through my head throughout the day, and nobody hears them but me. They're so quick, so complicated, and so intense that I haven't the patience or will to write them down, much less try to talk to someone about them. This gets burdensome. I think it's funny...so many people that I know, don't really know me that well. They know the easy, presentable part of me. The cute, sweet, younger sisterly aspect that I typically present. This persona, this facet of my personality is comfortable and personable. However, at times, people can be surprised by my wisdom. And at times, it's not exactly welcome. This inner-most degree of my mind, breaches the persona I generally present, and people feel that I overstep my boundaries. This might be true. So, most of my thoughts and feelings I keep to myself. No one usually asks, so I don't usually tell.
What baffles me is my innate ability to omit. Not lie, but omit. I'm not a good liar. But I am an excellent omitter. I often feel like a horrible person because of my ability to keep things from others. Usually, it's for their own good, or selfishly, for mine, or simply for the sake of undesirable drama.
Anyway...that's enough cryptic rambling for the night.
The other day, I played at Tasty World. It wasn't like my own show or anything, but I played a few songs, and I felt really good. It was my first actual performance that wasn't in a church, or a church-like setting. I was really nervous at first, but when it came around, I wasn't at all. I was simply ready to share some great music. Next school year, I hope that I can do it more often. I just need to gain some confidence and possibly a few more tunes to add to my list. It's always been a dream and a passion of mine, though I'm not really sure how well it will fit into my life. I guess we shall just wait and see.
You'd think that blogging about your life would be easy...since, you know, it's your life. So why does it take me half an hour to think of what to say?
It's hard to write my thoughts...since I've never really been that great at communicating. So many thoughts run through my head throughout the day, and nobody hears them but me. They're so quick, so complicated, and so intense that I haven't the patience or will to write them down, much less try to talk to someone about them. This gets burdensome. I think it's funny...so many people that I know, don't really know me that well. They know the easy, presentable part of me. The cute, sweet, younger sisterly aspect that I typically present. This persona, this facet of my personality is comfortable and personable. However, at times, people can be surprised by my wisdom. And at times, it's not exactly welcome. This inner-most degree of my mind, breaches the persona I generally present, and people feel that I overstep my boundaries. This might be true. So, most of my thoughts and feelings I keep to myself. No one usually asks, so I don't usually tell.
What baffles me is my innate ability to omit. Not lie, but omit. I'm not a good liar. But I am an excellent omitter. I often feel like a horrible person because of my ability to keep things from others. Usually, it's for their own good, or selfishly, for mine, or simply for the sake of undesirable drama.
Anyway...that's enough cryptic rambling for the night.
The other day, I played at Tasty World. It wasn't like my own show or anything, but I played a few songs, and I felt really good. It was my first actual performance that wasn't in a church, or a church-like setting. I was really nervous at first, but when it came around, I wasn't at all. I was simply ready to share some great music. Next school year, I hope that I can do it more often. I just need to gain some confidence and possibly a few more tunes to add to my list. It's always been a dream and a passion of mine, though I'm not really sure how well it will fit into my life. I guess we shall just wait and see.