blah blah blah
5th period has about 7 minutes left and I thought I'd post.
purged today, not to proud of it, but damn did it feel good.
I cut earlier in the week, and it felt good too. lol haha But I don't wanna go down this road where I cut and then throw up then starve, then quit cutting cause I'm starving and the lack of blood is causing me to pass out more, then I stop starving and puking to get better and end up cutting more and AHHH you understand right? lol But in all honesty, I'm very happy with life in some aspects. DJ and I are getting on good terms, but then again we are fighting alot. It's wishy-washy. Just like my recovery skills lol
I have outpatient next week, and I don't really wanna go. I mean I don't wanna start going again all the time, and when they see how much weight I've lost they'll know. ugghhh. but then again I miss it. I miss being so thin, so perfect. I miss cutting, the gorgeous flowing ribbons caressing my bones. I miss it so bad and I think that's why it's so hard for me to stop, because I've started again and it's just pulling me apart.
Well that's all of my rant for now. If you have any comments, let me know! :]
<3
Erica